Originally Posted by Aziah
Yup. Get a new doctor, stat.
Once again, you shouldn't *ever* ignore a 10-month-old. She is not being manipulative, or controlling; she is trying to communicate needs -- as a PP said, with a very limited vocabulary. Have you tried any baby signs with her? She's at the perfect age to start communicating with signs. Some simple ones to try are "milk," "more," "all done," "sleep," "bath," "thank you/good" (in ASL it's the same sign) and "no." Also, other fun signs like the signs for animals, Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, airplane, car, etc. Check out Sign with Me
for a video dictionary of baby signs you can use.
Also, I'm curious what a "fake cry" is? How do you know it's not genuine? Regardless of whether it indicates true upset, say from pain or hunger, your DC is trying to communicate something. Even if it's just "I don't like this diaper changing business!"
She knows that crying gets results, so she's crying in order to get a result. I think all cries are genuine in that they're an attempt to communicate.
For diaper changes, you might try singing, especially songs that have gestures like Itsy Bitsy Spider or Little Bunny Foo-Foo. Or making silly/funny noises, tummy raspberries, etc. As to the lunchtime (or anyplace else) meltdowns, what I do is to stop, get close to my son (down on the floor, or at eye level, wherever that is) and just look in his eyes and be there. I don't say "It's OK," or "You're OK" or anything, because he's not; I might just say "Hi, sweetie," or something, to let him know I'm there. I keep trying to look in his eyes, even if he's thrashing around and avoiding my gaze. And when I do, and can, he knows that I'm there with him, and that I care. And that I'm listening, if he wants to tell me (however that may be) what's wrong. And then, after a while, I can hug him or nurse him, and maybe even sit him on my lap and explain to him what's happening ("You're angry, aren't you? I know, and you can scream and cry, and that's OK, but it's not all right to hit Mommy or throw things, because you could hurt Mommy. Or break your toys" or whatever). The important thing, I think, is to connect with the child. NOT to disconnect by ignoring, or giving a time-out. Think about it -- when you are upset, do you want your partner or loved one to say, "I don't want to be with you when you're crying, so when you're feeling better, you can come out of the bedroom and be with me, and I'll pay attention to you then?" or do you want them to hold and comfort you? Same for a little one. Maybe even more so, because they don't have the capacity to understand the "logic" behind your actions (why you are ignoring them, or what to do to make it stop).
Does this make sense? Help any? Good luck, mama!