I've not found a discipline book or "method" that really fits what we do. As DS has approached two years of age, and his language has increased, we've been able to work out simple cause-and-effect chains with him. "Do we bite the dog?" "No." "What can we do to the dog?" "Pet Loki. Kiss Loki. Scratch Loki." "What happens if you bite the dog?" "Loki go in the bedroom." "Yes, we put Loki in the bedroom because we don't want him getting hurt. Ouch." But until he had pretty advanced language, this kind of stuff was difficult... and we still need to cover pretty much the same lessons repeatedly.<br><br>
As often as possible, we try to emphasize logical consequences, if not natural consequences. Sometimes, as in the biting-the-dog example, I'm not going to wait around for the natural consequence to happen... the dog deciding he doesn't want any more biting and lashes out as dogs do... with his teeth (though we have a dog who should probably be nominated for Doggie Sainthood). So we go with logical consequences... you hurt doggie, doggie has to go in the other room. Natural consequences are like... you drop food on the floor, doggie eats food. Big bummer. I'll comfort you, but there's a lesson to be learned there.<br><br>
We also do a lot of offering of options, though DS has now figured out that he doesn't HAVE to pick either of the options, so sometimes we're still just "those" parents carrying a screaming kid out of the grocery store because. "You can push the cart or you can ride in the cart. Which one?" "NO PUSHING NO RIDING! PLAY WITH THE BALLS!" Is not an option when you need to finish your shopping <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">.<br><br>
So... I guess I don't have a recommendation for a book. I liked Playful Parenting, but it's not exactly a discipline book. Our "discipline method," if it can even be called that, is that in life, there are rules (primarily for our safety and the safety of others), and DS, as a two year-old, cannot possibly be expected to comprehend or even necessarily follow those rules, so it's our job to make them as (a) palatable to and respectful of him as possible (we don't just jerk dangerous objects away from him and yell, "NO!" while slapping his hand), (b) comprehensible to him whenever possible, (c) the result of a conscious choice on his part whenever possible, and (d) NEVER a factor in whether he is loved or not.<br><br>
Notice there's a lot of "whenever possible." This is where I feel a lot of "AP" book fail my personal reality test. Most give lip service to "and sometimes you just have to do things," but there's often a lack of gray area, or even of continuum. Either you're *insert name of parenting/discipline style here*, or you're not respecting the child.<br><br>
So I ignore a lot of what I read in books, even ones I mostly agree with. Take away a general idea and a few tricks and techniques, and continue on my merry way.
