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<p>I'm not really sure what to do about this, and before I contact my lawyer, figured that you guys may have a little expertise about how this all works. =)</p>
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<p>In our separation agreement, it's stipulated that if my ex is unable to keep the kids, or needs a sitter, I'm supposed to be the first contact.  While I have not once required a sitter myself, as I make all my plans for the weekends I don't have the kids, he regularly dumps them off on his parents, his brother, or a teenager down the street.  Every single Saturday night he has had them, aside from one, he has pawned them off on somebody else.  When this first came to my attention, I brought it up with him and explained our separation agreement again and said he's to contact me first, as I have right of first refusal.  I'm supposed to be allowed the priveledge of spending time with my children when he has better things to do.  He told me he'd contact me if he ever needed "emergency childcare", and I explained again that no, it's ANY childcare requirements.  He's supposed to give me a chance to be with them if he would rather spend his time doing something else.  I thought he understood this.</p>
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<p>So the kids came home last night.  He took them late this weekend - Saturday morning instead of Friday night - and had me pick them up early on Sunday due to the "inclement weather".  When they got home and I was giving them their bath, my daughter slipped that they had been babysat by the teenager overnight on Saturday, as Daddy had a party to go to.</p>
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<p>I was livid!!  With him getting them a day late and having me get them early...and then dumping them off for a party on Saturday.....why bother taking them at all????  </p>
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<p>So before I shoot an email off to my lawyer about this, I'm wondering about what I'm able to do, legally, about this.  How exactly DO you enforce a separation agreement when one person is refusing to abide by it?</p>
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<p>Thanks.</p>
 

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Isn't the problem w/ a separation agreement that there isn't enforcement per se other than taking him back to court for breaking the contract? It's not under the jurisdiction of family court and you can also go back and change the elements of the agreement at any time. Your only true recourse then is to file for custody and divorce, which if that is a less attractive scenario then a less than ideal sep. agreement you kind of have to make your choice.<br><br>
I'm not saying it's fair that he isn't abiding to what you agreed upon, it's just that at least in my state, a sep. agreement doesn't really benefit me in any way because of the lack of enforcement.
 

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<p>i hope you are recording every piece of this.</p>
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<p>i think yeah you have to go to court. </p>
 

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<p>Before you make a stink about it, I would try to get the name of the teen babysitter... because when (if) you do make a stink about it, you will probably need more than your kids' say-so to prove that they are being babysat and he is not respecting the ROFR.</p>
<p>You probably can't do much about grandparents and family, because he can probably argue that those instances are not "child care" or "babysitting" but social visits with extended family (along the lines of a playdate with their friends--ROFR would not apply if the kids went on a playdate without you/him)...</p>
 
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