[sesa70]

My dh is SO wierd about being naked in front of the kids it drives me crazy. If the baby and I come in the bathroom while he is showering he starts yelling and flailing and turns away telling me to get her out... she is going to be traumatized for life! I think the yelling and screaming is more traumatic, but hey

He wont walk from the laundry room to the bedroom naked, he walks sideways and covers his parts! LOL! He always tells me i should not let the girls see me naked either, that it will screw them up when they are older. We were visiting a friend who's son was potty learning, and he had to go so he took off all his clothes and ran around naked after going on the potty. He walked up to dh and said 'this is my penis' and I swear dh turned bright red and just about died. He wouldnt look at the kid for the rest of the night he was so embarrased and he tried to cover my older dd's eyes. ALl of us, parents of the little boy, myself, and older dd were all laughing at his reaction.

I am obviously annoyed by this. I change in front of my kids, go to the bathroom in front of them, shower with them, etc. and they are 7 and 8 months.

I am just wondering how other families handle this? What level of nakedness and up to what age are you ok with? Is dh justified in being a naked-o-phobe?

 

[sweetpea333]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sesa70 My dh is SO wierd about being naked in front of the kids it drives me crazy. If the baby and I come in the bathroom while he is showering he starts yelling and flailing and turns away telling me to get her out... she is going to be traumatized for life! I think the yelling and screaming is more traumatic, but hey He wont walk from the laundry room to the bedroom naked, he walks sideways and covers his parts! LOL! He always tells me i should not let the girls see me naked either, that it will screw them up when they are older. We were visiting a friend who's son was potty learning, and he had to go so he took off all his clothes and ran around naked after going on the potty. He walked up to dh and said 'this is my penis' and I swear dh turned bright red and just about died. He wouldnt look at the kid for the rest of the night he was so embarrased and he tried to cover my older dd's eyes. ALl of us, parents of the little boy, myself, and older dd were all laughing at his reaction. I am obviously annoyed by this. I change in front of my kids, go to the bathroom in front of them, shower with them, etc. and they are 7 and 8 months. I am just wondering how other families handle this? What level of nakedness and up to what age are you ok with? Is dh justified in being a naked-o-phobe?

sorry to laugh but his reactions are kinda funny...

maybe something happened to him when he was growing up, like he saw his mom naked or something and it disturbed him,

my dp is always walking around naked, in front of the kids 2 year old dd and 9 month old dd he doesnt care at all, but he is a little weird with nakedness because at our old apartment complex which is two huge packed buildings facing eachother, he walked outside naked to ask me something at 8 o clock at night!!!! and in another apartment we lived in which is high traffic one of the windows was waist level and he was trying to closing it with his stuff hanging out the window!! in broad daylight!!

 

[Peony]

I'm more open then DH, I'll walk around the kitchen naked where he has to close the blinds, I doubt the neighbors can see much through our backyard and then their's. We are very open with dd, she is 3.5 years and takes showers with us, we all go in the hot tub naked, etc... I personally think not being open with nakedness is more troubling. I NEVER saw my parents naked as a child. Once when I was about 4, I was playing hide and seek in my parents bathroom, I hide in the hamper, and dad came in to use the bathroom... It was such a big deal, my dad sounds alot like your DH, he freaked out, I remember feeling so ashamed because I saw him naked. I had a sister, so penises were a huge mystery to me, honestly it took me years to feel comfortable with any nudity. I want dd to feel comfortable around all bodies, male or female. We'll cover up when dd asks us to otherwise we'll continue on.

 

[Codi's Mama]

We are naked around dd alot. She loooves to be nakee too! Dh and I both shower w/ her and we sleep in just underwear. My mom and I were always naked around each other alot, so it's no big deal.
I read a study somewhere that girls who saw their moms naked on a regular basis had a better self-esteem and self-image.

 

[sweetpea333]

my mom was always very private about being naked around us... i once saw my dad naked when i was 7 and i almost threw up.

 

[alegna]

Naked is normal. We treat it as such. But my SIL is a freak like your dh....

-Angela

 

[kewb]

Mine are 8 & 6. My dh stopped being naked around out dd a couple of years ago. He is uncomfortable with it. If dd (6) walks into the bathroom when he is in the shower he justs asks her to leave because he needs privacy-no flailing.

The kids run around naked a lot. Although my ds is funny. He does not want anyone around when he is changing but he will run around naked.

 

[Sagesgirl]

We're usually naked most of the time, but I realize that not everyone was raised the same, so IMO it has to be a matter of the comfort level of everyone in the family. I'd have been hard-pressed not to laugh at such a reaction myself, but overall I believe a better approach would be a gentle one. Hopefully someone with a bit more tact than I can give ideas on how to gently bring him around.

As far as being nekkid out in public, we just tell our daughters that nakedness is something we do at home, not around other people. They are used to the dichtomy of "you can do it at home but not here" though.

 

[sesa70]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetpea333 my mom was always very private about being naked around us... i once saw my dad naked when i was 7 and i almost threw up.

Do you think you reacted this way because your family was very private about nakedness?

I dont know how to handle this situation. Really, its no big deal for me but clearly it is for dh. I dont want my girls growing up freaked out by mens bodies b/c of dh, you know? I laugh at him ALL the time about his wierdness so I dont mind that you guys are laughing at him too!

 

[katt]

I'd probably tell him that him being naked is NOT going to scar his children for life. If anything his REACTION is what is going to scar them.
Ask him, instead of getting all loud and weird about it, to calmly turn around and ask the person to leave.

Your Daughters will grow up knowning that their bodies aren't something to be ashamed of AND some people prefer their privacy (like Dad).

At least, I would hope that would happen.

 

[chel]

dd was constantly naked as a toddler, she and Dh are very warm blooded and can't stand clothing. dd also changes at the gym, campground showers, and swim lessons where there's often little boys around (newborn to early elem).
So far dd shows no trama from all this.
I'm very cold blooded so I'm not as naked at home, though dd nursed till she was a preschooler so I would think she's seen alot of me. Up till recently she would usually shower with me.
My family was so covered, I couldn't pick out my father's feet in a line-up (always wore pants and shoes even in the summer in the south

: ) I've always been uncomfortable in gym type situations, in a I wish I was thinner everyone is looking at how fat I am concern, and hope that all this will make dd more comfortable with her body
In my former life I was a nurse and have completely gotten over an issues of seeing others naked

 

[sweetpea333]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sesa70 Do you think you reacted this way because your family was very private about nakedness?

yeah i think i probably acted that way cuz my fa mily was very private about nudity. even when we were little if i had a cousin over we wore panties or underwear inside the tub.

 

[Storm Bride]

We're pretty casual about it around here. DS1 used to sleep with me sometimes until he was 8, when dh moved in. Neither one of them was comfortable with ds1 running around naked in front of dh, so that was the end of that. DS1 is now 13, and began completely avoiding being seen naked around me or dh quite a while ago...now, he gets upset if his sister (3) sees him naked, too.

I go with my children's feelings on the subject. As long as they're comfortable with everyone being naked, then I don't worry about it. Having a teenager in the house with us makes it a little more complicated, of course. (DD went through a period when she'd walk up and say "Kelly - you do have a penis, because you're a boy - you have a penis, Kelly" very emphatically. I thought ds1 was going to die of embarrassment.) DS1 isn't fazed at all if he sees me shirtless, but I'm sure that's because I've been nursing pretty much straight through for over 3 years - by the time he started becoming really aware of these things, mom "hanging out" was just a fact of life.

DD loves being naked. She took off all of her clothes and ran around at her baby brother's birthday party yesterday...in the front yard, with her big brother and a bunch of her cousins. I don't think anybody in my family is bothered, as my sister and I also ran around naked when we were little.

 

[Jmo780]

We were born naked-Society has it warped in our minds that if we are naked, it is wrong...gross, what have you.
If we all stayed naked after birth, we would look at a person wearing clothes and think "What a freak, that should be illegal!"

That being said, my kids are 10b, 7b & 5g. I try to at least have a bra/undies on in front of the boys, but they will come in to the bathroom while I bathe, and talk or get something. No big deal...Our daughter always sees me naked-We shower together still etc...

My husband on the other hand won't even take his socks off in front of the kids

He thinks they don't need to see either of us naked and gets frustrated with me when I sleep in just a t-shirt/undies or walk from the bathroom to the bedroom to change. He had never ever changed in front of any of the kids-You might catch him changing a t-shirt but that is the extent of it...

 

[OTMomma]

My dh is also anti-nudity

Dd (age4) and I are both very comfortable in our skins and happy to be naked. We have explained to dd we have a rule that we don't leave the house naked- we explained it simply as "Have you ever seen Mommy or Daddy leave the house naked?" "Well, its just a rule, we don't do that" However, I have also explained to dd at times that clothing is used to protect our bodies, like jeans are better for some activities than shorts because they protect her legs- we've never disucssed the purpose of clothes is to hide the body from view.

Dh quit being naked in front of dd when she turned 2 I think. And after nursing her for 3 years dd has a special fondness for my breasts, which makes dh uncomfortable, but I feel like showering with dd will help her have a better body image as an adult. I remember as a child being curious about the human body and looking at my dad's PlayBoy magazines- I remember thinking "Wow- so that's what my breasts will do someday". I'd rather dd have a more realistic idea of her body than that.

 

[sesa70]

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTMomma I remember as a child being curious about the human body and looking at my dad's PlayBoy magazines- I remember thinking "Wow- so that's what my breasts will do someday". I'd rather dd have a more realistic idea of her body than that.

Thank you for saying this! I had the exact same thing when I was a kid, and I have to admitt I have always been somewhat dissapointed ever since! I have two girls, so its important to me that they grow up comfortable with what they look like and can find beauty in themselves and not spend their years wishing they looked like someone from a magazine, kwim?

I do wish my dh would get over it. My older dd is almost 7 and in a wheelchair. He even gets uncomfortable if her skirts are short or ride up b/c she is sitting! He is very modest like that. I dont think he really knows why he is. I have talked about this with him and he says that he never saw his parents naked and he is just fine (well obviously not with naked bodies! LOL!). He will walk around in a shirt and his undies but thats about it.

 

[NiteNicole]

I think your DH is allowed some privacy and I don't see how this makes him a "freak." I'm not sure why people are so smug about the whole being naked thing. I'd be more worried about trampling his boundaries (or making fun of them) in front of you children, who need to learn that their own physical boundaries should be respected.

 

[7kiddosmom]

My in laws are very modest, to the point that it annoys me. My MIL will take a shower and come out fully clothed including socks and shoes. I always wonder HOW she does that, whenever I try to get dressed in the bathroom right after a shower my clothes stick all over me and FORGET putting socks on damp feet.

My MIL gets all flustered when my 2 yr old strips down and runs around naked. It is like she gets embarrased. I honestly don't see how she got pg 4 times much less gave birth.

However my family is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. My grandparents were active nudist. They often vacationed and weekended at a nudist camp/colony.

I think I am a happy medium between the two extremes. I don't hide myself from the kids if they happen to come in while I am changing or showering but I don't flaunt it either. If they see me they see me. I openly bf in front of them and have asked if they want to be at the birth in Feb. One of my dds, 12 yr old, has become more modest as she is maturing. I don't make a big deal about it, just let her do what is comfortable.

Dh isn't as bad as his mom and has become less modest since being married to me for so long. When home he is usually in his boxers. And even this week needed to pee while one of the girls was in the shower. He either really had to go or he isn't as shy. He had no choice but to get over it with 5 girls and only ONE bathroom!

 

[meganeilis]

DH isn't big on walking around naked, and we keep the bathroom closed when in use, so that's not an issue. But I change in front of DH everyday, and shower with him a couple of times a week. I figure, he's still nursing, so it's not that big of a deal to see me without clothes. DH is fine with DH seeing me undressed for now, I'm sure it will be different in a few years.

 

[mahrphkjh]

we don't walk around naked but neither do we run and hide if we are seen. I just tell my kids (4, 2 1/2, 1) that there are some things we do in our bathrooms, some we do in our house and some we do in public. Boundary, privacy and politeness issues. DH has suggested that I do start covering up in front of DS #1 because he made a comment recently about how "good" I looked in a bathing suit (he likes boobs - always has

).