[pdxmomazon]

Hey there!

Happy Pride month

I was just talking to some of our other lesbian mom friends about their plans for Pride, which Portland celebrates this weekend. I was a lesbian avenger and used to help coordinate the **** march, wife and I both worked for the queer newspaper for a time and used to have activities related to that to attend to, and I volunteered with many queer/queer friendly organizations so I had to work at booths etc during pride. It was such a busy time....Now we're not even sure if we'll make the parade (toddler napping) and though I would love to go to the **** march, I'm not sure if it'll be too late for the kiddo! I'm feeling a bit un-Pride-like. On one hand I'd like to go, but it doesn't seem as fun as it used to. It almost seems like a chore! Talk about taking things for granted.

So, how do you feel about Pride now that you are a parent?

 

[FtMPapa]

I don't have kids yet ::stares at belly:: Well, maybe there's one on the way, but I don't know yet. But, I have thoughts on this that may be relevant.

I've lived close enough to go to Toronto pride my entire life, and I've been every year except one of the last nine years. It's reported to be the biggest pride in the world.

I hate it. Now that I'm living in Toronto, this year and last year, I've gone to a bunch of pride events - that I like. The pride weekend itself is so overcommercialized, so gimicky, and so completely devoid of politics, and so Church & Wellesley (read: white, gay, upper middle-class, able bodied, mostly men).

It's not a good day for kids - it's overly hot, crowded, insanely noisy, they get a fair bit of (often unwelcome) attention from clueless non-kidded queers, and it's a long, long day. There is also a fair bit of drinking and drugs going on, especially at night, so that's not as big of a concern. Toronto pride has a kids' area, a shady spot in a schoolyard where there is free water and snacks, and other queer parents to hang out with, a few low-key activities, and a refuge from all the noise.

I think not being into the whole Pride thang, at least for me, is linked less to having kids - though attending pride with kids is not my idea of a great time, without careful attention to the logistics - and more linked to getting older and more mature and just not caring to be around a million other queers.

That all said, I like small town prides. I find it's still political, there aren't booths set up trying to sell me another rainbow item, it's not as hot, crowded, and gross, and I usually know half the people there.

 

[MujerMamaMismo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FtMPapa I don't have kids yet ::stares at belly:: Well, maybe there's one on the way, but I don't know yet. But, I have thoughts on this that may be relevant. I've lived close enough to go to Toronto pride my entire life, and I've been every year except one of the last nine years. It's reported to be the biggest pride in the world. I hate it. Now that I'm living in Toronto, this year and last year, I've gone to a bunch of pride events - that I like. The pride weekend itself is so overcommercialized, so gimicky, and so completely devoid of politics, and so Church & Wellesley (read: white, gay, upper middle-class, able bodied, mostly men). It's not a good day for kids - it's overly hot, crowded, insanely noisy, they get a fair bit of (often unwelcome) attention from clueless non-kidded queers, and it's a long, long day. There is also a fair bit of drinking and drugs going on, especially at night, so that's not as big of a concern. Toronto pride has a kids' area, a shady spot in a schoolyard where there is free water and snacks, and other queer parents to hang out with, a few low-key activities, and a refuge from all the noise. I think not being into the whole Pride thang, at least for me, is linked less to having kids - though attending pride with kids is not my idea of a great time, without careful attention to the logistics - and more linked to getting older and more mature and just not caring to be around a million other queers. That all said, I like small town prides. I find it's still political, there aren't booths set up trying to sell me another rainbow item, it's not as hot, crowded, and gross, and I usually know half the people there.

I'm not a parent yet either but I've avoided Pride here (in Melbourne, Australia) for a few years now. Everything FTMPapa said applies to Pride here too! hot, homogeneous, apolitical, commercial...boring!

If we had a separate **** march i might contemplate going to that...but we don't.

 

[wemoon]

We plan on going with my kids. We went last year and really had a good time. I'm actually on the Pride planning committee for the small-town local one where I live, so obviously I'll be attending that one. I do like the small-town one better just because it isn't so caotic, but a little bit of caos for a big Pride day isn't too big of a deal.

 

[lexbeach]

Interesting . . . I LOVE taking our kids to our local pride. Ours is pretty small, though, definitely not a big city thing. It's mostly lesbians (just because that's who lives here), some gay men, some drag queens, some transfolks and gender queer people, and LOTS and LOTS of kids! All of the local g/sa groups march, ***** on bikes, raging grannies (i.e. old *****), and then a bunch of different families in church groups. There has been a lot of political activism going on at our PRIDE the last few years what with the whole gay marriage thing happening.

I love to bring the kids because it's a good time to talk to them about what it means to be part of a lesbian family, what "gay" and "lesbian" mean, how sometimes people with penises like to wear dresses and make-up, how some people with yonis LOOK like men . . . and the kids totally love it too. They get all decked out in rainbows, and we have a great time. We have some friends who we pretty much ONLY see once a year at Pride (mostly because we all have so many kids now), so it's a great chance to catch up with people too.

Perhaps it depends on what the local PRIDE celebration is like? Maybe you should all move to Northampton?

Lex

 

[FtMPapa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lexbeach Perhaps it depends on what the local PRIDE celebration is like? Maybe you should all move to Northampton?

I am!

Y'all have your pride so early, though! It's in early May, eh? Ours, Toronto, is next weekend. It's hot, it's gross...it's busy.

I love small town pride and I think it's important to participate and take kids to small town prides. I think if I end up living in a big city with my kid(s), I will make a point of going to a small pride each year, to teach them about the politics, instead of the

rainbow merchandise.

And now I will leave the

for someone to make a car out of.

 

[jp79]

I've gone to so many over-commercialized Pride festivals (Milwaukee, Madison, Portland, Boston, Chicago) that I've stayed clear of Pride for several years. We've lived in Rochester, MN, (much smaller than the other cities) now for a couple years and I'm thinking of taking DS to his first Pride this summer.

 

[ProudMamaSF]

I was just thinking about this same issue...

We live in the SF Bay Area ..so PRIDE is huge! I was thinking that it might be challenging to attend and march this year because we have an eight month old ( the heat, the noise, the crowds, etc..)

BUT my older daughters (12 and 14) told me that they look forward to marching in the parade and that it is VERY meaningful to them! I was surprised at how strong their feeling were about it.So we are going to be going this year!

 

[lemurmommies]

I've only been to Toronto pride once since moving to the area three years ago. It was definitely hot and busy and commercial. But there were also lots of gay people there!

And considering that IRL my partner and I have no gay or lesbian friends who live nearby, I'm looking forward to hitting downtown next weekend.

DS is now 6 months old, and I'm looking forward to checking out some of the Family Pride events. I'm hoping that the weather will cooperate. I am NOT much of a hot weather lover at all.

 

[mamimapster]

What does pride now say to me? heat. Sunburn.mild sunstroke.exhaustion. I've been going to pride (Chicago, as well as a few Milwaukee pridefests) since 1988-with a few years break here and there. It used to be more fun when it wasnt so huge and overwhelming. My favourite years were when a good friend had an apartment on the parade route and we would hang out on his fire escape-I could go in when the heat/noise got overwhelming. my least favourite years were driving a truck/marching-I don't walk long distances well. I went on pride "strike" two years ago, and have been going to the **** March instead- very kid friendly and less drunken/obnoxiousness. it also ends at the beach! Dp REALLY wants us to march in the parade again this year. I love her very much. I'm consisdering it.

 

[mshollyk]

well, we're not having our festival this year because of our lovely mayor, and my kids are just now old enough to take them

i love the parade, and have been in it quite a few times--once just me and DD marched alone for our group, that was kind of embarrassing. it's too difficult to get a bunch of nightlife freaks to get up early on a sunday morning--i did it plenty of times when i was their age, haha. i'm kind of not up for it this year, especially now that DD is 4 and not so easy going about waiting in one place for very long. the year she was born, i did it with her and nursed her while we were in the parade

 

[wemoon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaba I've gone to so many over-commercialized Pride festivals (Milwaukee, Madison, Portland, Boston, Chicago) that I've stayed clear of Pride for several years. We've lived in Rochester, MN, (much smaller than the other cities) now for a couple years and I'm thinking of taking DS to his first Pride this summer.

You should also come over to the South Central MN Pride that is in Mankato in September

We could meet up

ETA: if you have myspace, send me a link to it and I can add you to SCMN Pride and you'll then receive event notifications for Pride.

 

[Diane B]

We have had a great time the last two years watching the parade with our daughter (in Minneapolis). It's big, and not the radical, out-there protest rally it used to be, but we have a nice time. This year, our daughter is reserving the option to march in the parade (or rather, ride in her wagon) but I think that will be a last-minute decision. We have also enjoyed walking around in the park looking at the booths, though we try to go when it's not so crowded.

 

[pdxmomazon]

Well, today was the Pride parade and the last day of the celebration. It was surprisingly difficult to know I was missing the **** March last night, but I didn't want to go without my wife or child, so it was my choice to stay home.

This morning was a different story! We went to church but had to go home just as the parade was starting for our daughter to nap. I felt really upset. Of course we HAD to go home for the nap, but I got a voice message from a friend wondering where we were, telling us where they were sitting and who was there. Her son calls our daughter "honey" and he was asking for her!!! I felt left out and like our daughter was missing part of Pride she would most appreciate

After she woke up, we went down to the celebration, and it was yucky. Lots of smoking and lots of people drinking just to get drunk. We didn't feel like it was safe to let our daughter out of the Ergo (too many head-level cigarettes!) She did seem to enjoy the music and the crowd, but the set-up was (and has has been since I've known it) cramped !!!
I guess this is just another example of mourning my previous life... I was trying to explain to my Dad that Pride is signifigant to me. It used to be a highlight- the culmination of a lot of hard work. Now that I'm a parent, I have completely different priorities and a completely different life! Although I am aware of the postitive benefits of this life change on a day to day basis, the losses are really apparent during Pride. I am looking forward to when Pride can take on a new meaning for my family and I can reclaim this weekend that has meant so much to me in the past

 

[CynicalStar]

We don't go to Dallas Pride. It's essentially a contest of who can be more outrageous and more drunk than the next person - not somewhere I want my son, and not something that even appealed to me pre-kids.

 

[Ravin]

We're going to the Pride Festival in Amarillo on Saturday. I don't go to big city stuff in Phoenix when I'm there, mostly because it's too stinkin' hot. I've been at a few things in Chicago on Halstead, and would take DD to something like that if we lived there.

I like the small-city Pride celebration, though. And I love seeing the teens feeling comfortable showing up there, demonstrating how much things have changed in the last 14 years since I first came out...

 

[max_4477]

I'm not much for big corporate parades so we don't usually do Pride. But we do **** March, as it's small, in our neighbourhood, and very kid-friendly.

We might do pride this year, since dc is older (4.5) and might not get so overwhelmed & bored. (I might though!) I'd love for him to see toms of queer families - that's the main impetus. And dw would probably love it.

We'll see. It basically is like any other event - depends on the timing and how busy we are that weekend. I'm not even sure exactly what week it is here this summer. It's usually in August I think, so sometimes we are off camping.

I did hear on the CBC that the Toronto pride has a whole "Family Pride" event, which is sweet - I assume it would be smaller scale (?), more kid-oriented and less full of beer and smoking. (Now that dc tells everyone with a cig how "bad" smoking is...oy, our little moralist)

 

[Ravin]

Oy, I didn't even think about the smoking until we got there! PARENTS smoking right next to their kids. Part of it is just this area, I see straight parents smoke around their kids and think nothing of it, too, but ugh! It's gotten bigger, too loud (seriously the music needed to get turend down a few decibels), and many orgs that used to table (such as the UU and MCC etc.) were absent. Very disappointing in a number of ways.

OTOH, DD had a blast dancing once the official acts were over and the kiddos got up on stage!

 

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

fun at the parade, as it's relatively small, and was just the right amount of time for my 3 and 4 year old kiddos. they got a great rainbow beach ball and i got free condoms!

i became most sad at the evil anise-flavoured liquer truck in the parade with some dude screaming 'who likes J-----------er?' and handing out stupid J---------er advertisement key holder thingies....while tons of people were screaming in response, 'me, me!'

i'll take the kids again. it's one of the few parades i would go to, and sneaking the candy away from them was worth them getting to see mr leather indiana. we live in a neighborhood full of zombies, so anything to remind them of the diversity of the world helps. as they get older, the conversation about corporate tactics to market to the queer community will deepen.

 

[mama2rey]

I kept thinking about this all day. I got back from being in Chicago's Pride Parade, and realized that this may be my last one for awhile. Every year DP and I are in charge of one of the floats. We said that this was the last year because next year we will have a six month old. There is no way that I am bringing an infant on a float with all that loud music and the heat!

I saw many infants along the parade route-and they all looked miserable. I think that after 10 years of first being a spectator, and then on one of the floats, it's time to take a hiatus. We'll probably do something more family friendly next year.

I'm sad. I know that Chicago's Pride Parade is very commercialized. But every year we have an awesome float for a group that both DP and I are very active in. I spearheaded the first year we were in the parade and DP took over after that. It's always been a fun time-we have great music, and it's an opportunity for the women of this group to really get out there and just have fun. I guess it's time to pass the torch on to someone else.......