[InochiZo]

I hear a lot of moms talking about feeling guilty about choices they've made.
I am not prone to feeling guilty about things. I am wondering how many of you working/studying moms feel guilty.
I don't feel guilty about working but I really miss playing with DS when I am a work. I also feel really bad about not getting my Paperwork done when I am home and hanging out with DS.

 

[Harper]

I NEVER feel guilty about not getting work done for whatever reason (even if it is because I am posting on MDC!!). :LOL I always manage to get everything done even when I am super stressed.

I only rarely feel guilty about working. I think I felt more guilty when dd was really little and still mostly breastfed. We have worked out a childcare arrangment that works really well for us and I think dd is really well cared for and happy. The person she spends her days with is WAY more patient than I am and I think that is a very good thing. They have a lot of fun and dd is such a very happy toddler.

I am not looking forward to adjusting to leaving two behind to go to work. I think that will be harder. I have also heard from mamas that I trust that it also gets more difficult as they get older and compare themselves to their classmates who have SAHMs or SAHDs and they feel left out.

 

[lisalou]

I don't feel guilty but miss dd. I did go through a phase before I went back to work wondering if I should feel guilty. Then I stopped reading parenting books. And felt much better and went with my gut. I know I wouldn't be a good SAHM, I would get resentful. But I do get a little wistful when she's really cute in the morning before she leaves. I guess I also do feel a little guilty on the days when I send her off cranky and ill tempered. But that's mostly b/c I feel bad for her teachers.

 

[G&B'sMama]

I don't feel guilty at all. I love my job and my family. My children are well taken care of when I am away. They are securely attached and seem to be content overall. However, it is hard some days to be away from them. I would much rather that I worked PT so I could still have the satisfaction I get from my job but could be with them for more than 3 waking hours during the work week. Who wouldn't rather be going on a nature walk or playing in the park than sitting in front of a computer?

 

[Lucky Charm]

I don't feel guilty at all. I am not doing anything wrong, therefore i don't feel guilt.

Feeling guilt wastes time...unless it motivates you to change a situation you're in where there is some conflict. I don't feel guilty for working, i don't feel guilty when i am swimming with the kids and my husbands at work, and i don't feel guilty when i get my hair cut colored and highlighted. I never felt an ounce of guilt when i was home 24/7. My kids are terrific, well adjusted attached secure kids; A testimony to the time and effort i put into them, mostly loving the heck out of them, kissing and hugging them all day

The only time i can think of that i ever felt a pang of guilt was several years ago. I was doing a home health case for a severely brain injured child. he had 24 hour a day nursing care. he was unresponsive, in the fetal position on a ventilator. I quit after realizing i was leaving my own kids to care for another womans child in her home. I no longer do pediatric home health. I have been offered tons of money, but i wont budge. there simply isn't enough cash out there to make me change my mind.

 

[Crunchier]

I don't feel guilty because I know I'm doing the best I can. I'd feel worse if I couldn't feed Ben or pay the rent or keep him safe. Sometimes I feel sorry that this is the best life I can offer him, but I don't regret my choices.

I think we have a good balance. I'm only away a few hours a day, and Ben is with his dad. Starting tomorrow, he will be staying with his uncle who he adores, for an hour or 2 while Derek and I are both gone. If I had to be gone more, or if he had to go to a daycare center, especially one I wasn't entirely comfortable with, or if he was younger, then I might feel differently.

 

[UmmBnB]

Naw, no guilt here. I'm doing what is best for my kids, myself and my family. If I have a day when I'm missing the kids I just go home for lunch or have dh bring them to me.

 

[EFmom]

No guilt here, either. My kids are very well taken care of and are thriving, and I'm doing what is right for our family.

 

[faythe]

No guilt, but I do sometimes wish things were different.

 

[katallen]

I don't feel guilty about going to school and studying. I miss playing with dd, but I am not going to raise her in poverty all her life, so I am going to school so we can have a better life. I don't think anyone should feel guilty about doing what they feel is right for their family, and I don't think that anyone would do something unless they felt it was right for their family.

 

[idocrase]

Moderate guilt here. Mostly when I have to leave B at daycare after our lunch visit and she's screaming her head off.

 

[meemee]

wow!!! i am so glad all u moms dont feel guilty. i feel v. guilty all the time. my dd has been in dc for the past 9 months when she was 2 and not a day goes by when she tells me how much she misses me. and i always miss her. i am single so i dont have a choice. now if i worked nights and her dad had her then i wouldnt feel so guilty. she and i have a lot of time together. now even if she didnt tell me she missed me i would still feel guilty because of her personality she flourishes when i am with her. and i am a good SAHM. that is what i want to be. didnt ever want to be a career woman.

i dont mind being poor if i can have my dd with me. i hate below the poverty line like i am on now. but enough to make it living simply and travelling is what i would like. my priorities to bring up my dd with a good value system. her upbringing is more important to me than owning a house or a fancy car. a decent running car would be good of course.

now if i was working and instead of dc if my xh was watching my dd i would not be guilty at all. i would miss her but would not be guilty.

 

[katybear mama]

Sometimes I feel guilty - like the days when I run off to work as soon as dd gets on the bus and then her father (divorced) has to pick her up from the bus after school because I am running off to class straight from work. Then by the time I pick her up there's barely time for a bath and a story before she has to go to bed. But, I am getting my Masters for the benefit of the two of us. Better job = better salary. And dd is very excited about my studying and does her homework with me sometimes. She is observing me be a hard working independent woman and I think that is a good example for a little girl. By next year school will be over, hopefully I'll have a full-time job and we'll have all the time in the world.