[Grace and Granola]

I don't know if willful is the right word, but here's what happened....

My ds is 3 days away from being a year old. He is a fun loving guy, but I would call him demanding at times. He is just a very energetic baby that knows what he wants. He is not yet walking, but he has this little walk behind cart that he pushes all over the house. I decided to let him try it outside today to give him some more room to run. He was doing great with it having fun in the grass, and then he discovered the sidewalk. We live in a condo where the sidewalk runs about 100 feet from our door to the parking lot. Anyway...I was nervous about him on the sidewalk, so I chased behind him with a fist full of his shirt in my hand in case he went down...no problems though, he went happily down the concrete way. We got half way down the sidewalk and I said, "ok, let's go back." The boy started to scream, so I just decided to let him go farther. When we got to the very end of the sidewalk just before the parking lot, I suggested again that we turn back. I picked up ds and his cart and turned them around. He proceeded to turn the cart back the other direction...I tried again...he turned again. Every time, he got more upset. Finally, I just picked him and his cart up and started walking back...he was screaming!! I set him down to play again in the grass and he went straight for the sidewalk. I had absolutely no idea what to do with him. I ended up taking him in the house kicking and screaming. We sat on the couch where he continued to cry for the next 15 minutes in my lap. Finally, I just had to turn on some Elmo to distract him from his tragedy!! (Please no flames on the TV, we rarely watch any!)

So....what would you do or have you done in a similar situation? He seems too young to "discipline." What type of discipline would I use on such a small tot. It is so frustrating not being able to communicate clearly with him, but I know that situations like this are going to keep coming up. HELP!

 

[babygrant]

I would cross post in gentle discipline

 

[millionmom]

I think that what you did was fine. I believe at this age you'd need to give him a few warnings, follow through with what you say and then distract. It is for his safety, so don't feel bad about him getting upset! This is how he will learn that you mean what you say! he does sound very hard headed and determined! It's amazing that he kept up for so long after coming in!

 

[chochkies]

I also have a son who is just shy of 1- and incredibly willful! I guess I don't think there's a need to discipline at this age. You gave him natural consequences which I think work much better- i.e. if you go by the parking lot repeatedly, we have to go inside. When my son throws fits because I won't let him do something, I just hold him until he calms down and then try to get him interested in another toy.

Good luck-

 

[cyndimo]

No suggestions, just hugs.
My DS is just 1 and he's very similar... my mom did a great job of baby-proofing, except for the sliding door shutters she could do nothing about. Of course, DS was drawn like a magnet and we could do very little distracting. He would throw a toddler-like tantrum if we thwarted him.
Good luck to you!
Cyndi

 

[Thalia the Muse]

He is preparing to be a toddler, and it sounds like he's doing a good job of it! They don't like to be thwarted AT ALL (neither do I, actually).

IMO this age is too early for "discipline" aside from distraction and gentle redirection. Fortunately, distraction and redirection work really well -- at least, they did for my daughter at this age. He's not being willful, he's just frustrated because there's all this cool stuff to do and these awful big people won't let him run in the street/eat cat litter/stick toast in the VCR/or whatever other MEAN restrictions you have imposed on him. ;-)

 

[chiro_kristin]

I agree that what you did was fine. I am also explaining WHY ds can't do things, not that I think he really can grasp the concepts but that I'm practicing being in the habit of doing so, for the time when he can understand.