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HELP!!!<br><br>
One of my girls was SO frustrated today. She typed a short story on the computer (plain word program). Some misspellings, but she let me help her when needed. Then she went to add more 'writing' to with a pen, well she can't write very well (physically) and gets VERY MAD when it does not look 'right' she was trying to write a v and it looked like an L . She scratched it out and then tried again...then got upset that the 'scratch out' would not go away....finally I talked her through it, but then she was upset because she was trying to write 'invite' and it did not 'look' right (she did invit and envet and inveyeted ) and she was very upset. She knew it was not right, did not know how to fix it, but would not let me help. She would not have known how to spell it on the computer either, and it still would have bothered her---but the combination of spelling it 'wrong' (she knows it is wrong) and trying to handwrite it is overwhelming. Yet, she asks to do this type of activity. ARGH!!<br><br>
Now the idea to 'write' was her idea and her story. I suggested if it was making her frustrated, we should put it away for now. NO. I can help her spell. NO. asked her why she wanted to do this if it was making her mad. I WANT TO DO IT RIGHT!! ON MY OWN!! I CANNNNNTTTT........temper tantrum ensues.<br><br>
How do you help a child that is trying to do something they 'can't yet, but want to?!?!? (especially if they can do it in an 'alternate' format--for her typing) Then they get SO.MAD. about it. she WANTS to be able to write small and clear, but her physical abilities are not there she still write in block letters mixed upper and lower case.<br><br>
HELP!! What is a good way to handle it??? She is very Type A personality.<br><br>
**luckily my other DD will likes to dictate her story and I type it. a much better idea, but the DD mentioned in the above scenario does not want to do this and I dont want to -make- her do anything that is academic-y if she does not want to, she will get enough of that in school (they are 4 in PreK)**
 

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What you've got there is a budding perfectionist.<br><br>
I think that my DD is also a perfectionist at her core, but I've talked up how everyone makes mistakes and it's fun to make mistakes so much that she's currently on a big mistake-making kick. She was writing today, and before she did anything she said, cheerfully, "Okay, now I'm going to make a mistake." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> We talk about how nobody is perfect, and how even if you could be perfect that would be boring, and how everyone is different and does things differently.<br><br>
Now that she's really wanting to write by hand a lot, we've been talking about how the important thing is that other people can tell what you've written. We've talked about how when you're not very good at something, you have to practice to get better. I think it helps that my MIL recently sent me a puzzle book that I'm pretty bad at and I've been slowly working through it, talking about how it's hard and I'm not good at it, but I'm going to keep doing it until I <i>am</i> good at it.<br><br>
I don't know how long this will keep the dreaded perfectionism at bay, but so far it seems to be (mostly) working. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Oh, we went through a BIG bout of that last year right around this time -- when my son started realizing that he couldn't draw and write like he wanted to, or like some of the other kids in his class could (it was his first time doing writing, cutting, colouring, etc with peers).<br><br>
A few things that helped were already mentioned -- talking about how we learn through practice and making mistakes, and showing him how even I learn through mistakes when I make one. I am always starting sewing projects, so when one wouldn't work as planned and I would be ripping out stitches I would talk to him about how the idea in my head didn't come out like I planned it, so I had to try a different way. This was really good for him.<br><br>
Mostly with him, just giving him phrases to remind himself of and to hang onto can keep the frustration at bay a lot -- the two his teacher is reminding him of these days are, "I can just take my time and do my best." and "What's important is that I'm trying my hardest".<br><br>
He is s-l-o-w-l-y learning to walk away and come back later if something is frustrating him (especially something he's started himself) and I am slowly learning to back off and let him try, and maybe fail, and maybe freak out and throw whatever it is everywhere, and then encourage him to take a break and start over again when he's ready (or at least pick up the mess). I find the more I hover and remind the worse he gets.<br><br>
Hope that helps. Hang in there.
 
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