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200 Posts
I really need your advice, mamas.
Every single time I go to the store, at least one or two complete strangers approach my kids and paw all over them. Tonight, for example, my hubby and I were in the self-checkout line at the grocery store when the cashier in charge of that area left her station, walked over to us and stood about six inches away from me, wanting to see my baby (asleep in the sling). With her so much in my personal space, I automatically took a step backward-- which did no good since she compensated by taking a step forward. So, trying to get rid of her, I opened the sling just enough for a glimpse-- and the woman immediately started reaching in there to, I assume, touch her face or hair or something. I immediately pivoted away (making it look like I was trying to give her a better view). So finally she dropped her hand, and *then* she started talking to my toddler, who was sitting in the cart beside me. Then she said what beautiful curls my kid has, and started running her hand through her hair! I truly did not know what to do. What I WANTED to do was tell her to get her freakin' hands off my child... but I said nothing.
And that's what kills me. Every time this sort of thing happens, I just stand there like a dope and don't know how to establish a no-touching boundary or say, "Hands off, please." Because the thing is, I do believe most of these folks are well-intentioned-- they're usually older women who have wistful, my-babies-are-all-grown-up-and-boy-do-I-miss-those-days looks on their faces, and I don't want to be an outright a$$hole about it all. To be brutally honest, I was raised to be a people pleaser, and crappy habits are hard to break. At the same time, my instinct to tell them to buzz off is starting to overpower my politeness, and I feel like the next person who reaches over to pat my kid on the head is going to pull back a nub. Which is not what I'm looking to do.
I've told myself a thousand times that the next time someone does this, I will say something effective, firm and, ideally, kind that will make my position clear-- but the words never come. I just don't know how to strike that balance.
P.S. I should add that in the rare instances someone has given me the creeps, I've immediately zipped my kids away without hesitation. I just don't know what to do with these matronly older women who look like they'd happily rock my kids to sleep if I'd let them. I don't think they mean any harm-- I just don't want them pawing all over my children.
Every single time I go to the store, at least one or two complete strangers approach my kids and paw all over them. Tonight, for example, my hubby and I were in the self-checkout line at the grocery store when the cashier in charge of that area left her station, walked over to us and stood about six inches away from me, wanting to see my baby (asleep in the sling). With her so much in my personal space, I automatically took a step backward-- which did no good since she compensated by taking a step forward. So, trying to get rid of her, I opened the sling just enough for a glimpse-- and the woman immediately started reaching in there to, I assume, touch her face or hair or something. I immediately pivoted away (making it look like I was trying to give her a better view). So finally she dropped her hand, and *then* she started talking to my toddler, who was sitting in the cart beside me. Then she said what beautiful curls my kid has, and started running her hand through her hair! I truly did not know what to do. What I WANTED to do was tell her to get her freakin' hands off my child... but I said nothing.
And that's what kills me. Every time this sort of thing happens, I just stand there like a dope and don't know how to establish a no-touching boundary or say, "Hands off, please." Because the thing is, I do believe most of these folks are well-intentioned-- they're usually older women who have wistful, my-babies-are-all-grown-up-and-boy-do-I-miss-those-days looks on their faces, and I don't want to be an outright a$$hole about it all. To be brutally honest, I was raised to be a people pleaser, and crappy habits are hard to break. At the same time, my instinct to tell them to buzz off is starting to overpower my politeness, and I feel like the next person who reaches over to pat my kid on the head is going to pull back a nub. Which is not what I'm looking to do.
I've told myself a thousand times that the next time someone does this, I will say something effective, firm and, ideally, kind that will make my position clear-- but the words never come. I just don't know how to strike that balance.
P.S. I should add that in the rare instances someone has given me the creeps, I've immediately zipped my kids away without hesitation. I just don't know what to do with these matronly older women who look like they'd happily rock my kids to sleep if I'd let them. I don't think they mean any harm-- I just don't want them pawing all over my children.
