[Strong Mama]

I cant do this anymore. Ds (3) is soooooooooo sensitive. It is getting to the point where I feel like spanking him more and more everyday.I cry almost everyday. He is too hot. Too cold. Too tired. Too sticky. Too everything. He cries at the drop of a hat. It is so nerve wracking. I need some techniques NOW that work that will help me deal with this.

 

[mamaduck]

It sounds like maybe he takes after his mommy a bit -- if you are crying everyday, I suspect you are on the sensitive side too? I'm sorry you are having a rough time.<br><br>
My children and I are sensitive too. Its hard being a sensitive mommy, because you feel your child's pain accutely and it becomes intolerable very quickly.<br><br>
These are some good books:<br><br><a href="http://www.hsperson.com/" target="_blank">http://www.hsperson.com/</a><br><br>
And also, try to keep in mind that you don't have to fix everything for your boy. You can empathize and be understanding, but you don't have to make everything right all the time for him. His discomfort does not mean you are failing.

 

[PreggieUBA2C]

Have you already gone through the sweep of diet, sleep, exercise, routine, etc... to see if maybe there is something obvious that is affecting his whole day, everyday?<br><br>
I am also a very sensitive person (emotionally and physically) so I can relate to how difficult it can be to try to stay in a good mood when dc are not, for whatever reason. I can't seem to keep my moods level if everyone else isn't level. Huh, I don't know why that is. I'm going to read the link above.<br><br>
I don't cope very well either, so <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:

 

[LynnS6]

There's actually book about <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FHighly-Sensitive-Child-Elaine-Aron%2Fdp%2F0007163932%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_sr_1%2F002-4192127-5118407%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1178058655%26sr%3D8-1" target="_blank">Highly Sensitive children</a> too (which I like more than the one for adults, but that might be just me).<br><br>
Is he getting enough sleep? <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FSleepless-America-Child-Misbehaving-Missing%2Fdp%2F006073602X%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%2F002-4192127-5118407%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1178058797%26sr%3D1-1" target="_blank">Sleepless in America</a> is a very good book, and worth reading. My kids are much more finicky and hard to please if they are tired.<br><br>
Another two books to try:<br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FEmotional-Life-Toddler-Alicia-Lieberman%2Fdp%2F0028740173%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%2F002-4192127-5118407%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1178059208%26sr%3D1-1" target="_blank">The Emotional Life of the Toddler</a> (I know he's 3, it's still relevant for this age, I think)<br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FChallenging-Child-Understanding-Enjoying-Difficult%2Fdp%2F0201441934%2Fref%3Dsr_1_4%2F002-4192127-5118407%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1178059240%26sr%3D1-4" target="_blank">The Challenging Child: Understanding, Raising, and Enjoying the Five "Difficult" Types of Children</a><br><br>
Each book has a chapter on children who are highly sensitive<br><br>
Since you have an autism ribbon in your signature line, I'm assuming you know about sensory processing issues? Have you read "The Out of Sync Child"? Sensitive kids really aren't doing this to drive us batty!<br><br>
And then a question: how about stress reduction for you? Self care? The only times I'm ever tempted to spank my children are when I am overwhelmed. You need a scheduled time each week to do something to recuperate - are you an introvert, do you need someone to take the kids away so you can relax at home (no cleaning the fridge while they're gone!)? or are you an extrovert who needs to get out and talk to people to recharge? I would also recommend the book "Women's Moods". It's great.<br><br>
Hang in there. I will sometimes tell my sensitive kids: I will try one more time, and then that's all I can do to make it better. At least it sets a limit on the number of times I try to fix a particular sock!

 

[orangeiron]

My DD1 is also extremely sensitive. 'Raising your Spirited Child' is another book,<br>
But what I have always done is homeopathy. We have a really great homeopath and every time dd seems to get really stuck I call her up and we work out a remedy for her. It is like night and day. I have seen a remedy work instantly. She was at a point once where she wouldn't put her feet on the floor if she saw any 'fuzz' (lint,cat hair, you name it) on the floor. And I can't keep up with the house cleaning that much! And she would get so worked up she couldn't even talk. It's hard for a kid to be that stressed out over EVERYTHING and it really does drive you nuts. My dd knows she is more sensitive than others too, she even talks about it (she's 4.5). I feel like after we find a remedy that works she can learn and grow more, because she isn't so wrapped up in freaking out over everything.<br>
Good Luck, I really feel for you. remember no matter what 'this too shall pass' and sensitive kids have amazing gifts to give that other kids don't.

 

[doulatara]

Both my daughter and myself are extremely sensitive. Growing up, I used to be punished and yelled at because of this. Anytime I was upset about anything instead of a parent or teacher validating my feelings they just told me that I was too sensitive. Obviously, I am taking another approach with my dd. I try to validate her feelings and make her understand that it is ok to have them. I also tell her about the importance of trying to let some things go after talking about them. I have found that if she sleeps at least 12 hours per night and eats a healthy diet (no whites, processed foods and mostly vegetables, fruits and whole foods,) she does a lot better. Life was harder back when my dd didn't have all the words needed to express herself. It has gotten a lot easier as she has gotten older! Keeping a consistent life is important if you can as much as possible. (I am a doula now and am called away a few times per month and dd age 7 and myself both do suprisngly well with it...if anyone told me that when she was 3 I would have never believed it!)<br><br>
The beautiful thing about sensitive people is that they have many gifts. They understand other people and are very empathetic and intuitive. If given freedom and support to express their feelings, they are also highly artistic and expressive.

 

[UUMom]

"I am so sorry you are mad. You are my sweet little guy and I am here for you". And then I stay right there and give the child the needed space to wail.<br><br>
Sometimes hugging and letting it ride is all you can do.<br><br>
What I have noticed with my HSC is that the memory is short. I don't mean the child is not bright & kind and & rocking, but i do mean that what the child thinks is the end of the world at 7pm on Thursday night, does not compute at 8 AM Friday morning. Some of us would think the anquish would carry over, but simply put, it does not. Sleep --and time-- calms (and mostly zaps out of orbit) the intense anquish.