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GDing with a 15 month old? I will give specific examples...but are there any specific books for this age?<br><br>
What would you do when you want your child to eat and they eat a little and then want to stand up in their chair and get down and or play or be held by you?<br><br>
How do I deal with my son who wants to go outside as he says "owsigh" allllll dayyyy looooong. I take him out as much as I can. But it is a bit cool in the morning. I think he would live outside if he could and he is bored with indoor stuff!!! By lunch time he is crying because he wants and is begging to go "owsigh." I usually say we will go outside after nap time and snack time when it is warmer. This doesn't mean much to him now.<br><br>
I put him in his car seat and he really struggles and cries not to go. I try to go places a lot where once we get there he really enjoys whatever we are doing. I rarely go shopping except to the store once a week and sometimes he doesn't go. I guess the struggle is that he doesn't want to leave the fun thing we are doing. He he uses the nurse sign to manipulate me not to put him in the car seat and then won't nurse.<br><br>
These are just some of our issues and I wonder how you GD with them. I am still learning about GDing and non coercive parenting. I know other parents who have kids my age and are wondering about discipline too.
 

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I have a 16 month old so I'm right there with you!<br><br>
I don't know what to do about the outside thing as today was the first day we've been out (yay warm weather!). But man, was it hard to get her in when I absolutely had to go to the bathroom. She cried for a short time until I managed to distract her with something else. I am sure it will get harder as the weather improves.<br><br>
What we do with the food thing is try to make sure she really is done and wants to get down. I keep reoffering her different things (that we are having) and sometimes she realizes she wants to eat more. If not, I put her down, which often results in her insisting I pick her up. I do pick her up but I've drawn the line at not allowing her to continue eating from my lap. If she suddenly wants food again I ask if she wants more to eat and put her back in her seat. Also sometimes I offer her stacking cups at her seat. She will pour water in them and on her food and that often keeps her happy for a while. If she wants to get down and play, fine with me, I get to have an adult meal! If we are eating out, I distract, distract, distract.<br><br>
The car isn't usually a problem as I ask her excitedly if she wants to go to the store before we go-like it's a treat. I get her to help me get ready-she gets the sling and my shoes and stuff. If she seems reluctant once we get to the car I ask her if she wants to sing silly songs in the car (our Music Together CDs) and that usually does the trick.<br><br>
I'm just starting to read some books now so no recs yet.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TonyaW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10699866"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">GDing with a 15 month old? I will give specific examples...but are there any specific books for this age?</div>
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Becoming the Parent You Want To Be is AWESOME for younger kids. I started using the info in it when ds was about your ds's age. I love the authors' attitudes towards kids, and I love that there are concrete, and respectful ways to respond to kids, and to teach about unacceptable behaviors.
 

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With the examples you gave, I'd mostly say just relax. My mantra is "where there's a will, there's a way!" It doesn't necessarily have to be the way I first thought. The food issue - grazing is totally normal. When it is absolutely necessary to have the child at the table (restaurants, guest dinners), put the plate down first, then the child in the chair. No waiting. It gives a few extra minutes of actually enjoying the meal. After, offer a fidgity toy - something that has a few doors to open and close, twisty knobs, squishy texture (an I Spy sealed bag is great for getting a few more minutes!)<br><br>
With the "owsigh" - I think having a slightly spacy 1st child and an anal retentive second child helped me see the wisdom in routines and schedules. If you hang a string on the wall you can use clothespins to attach a "what we're doing today" list - one picture for each major thing. As you move along in your day your ds can move a clip from one picture to the next. Suddenly, it's not so confusing and arbitrary to him. He can see there's a time for 'owsigh' and it's three pictures away. It's not just 'cause mommy says so, you know?<br>
And mix it up a little inside! He's old enough now to appreciate a cave, or a homemade drum or playing with pudding or a box of dry noodles and cups or flashlight play. Pick one new activity a day for a while, and at the same time remove some seldom played with toys. In a few weeks, reoffer the old toys one at a time.<br><br>
I'm not entirely non-coercive, but I do pick my battles. Getting in a carseat is not something I'm willing to negotiate over. I offer my sympathy, my empathy, and a bit of distraction once on the road, but I don't believe it's my job to make the problem go away all the time, or even to put it off and go through hoops each time. I can help a child deal, which is just as important as helping the bumps go away, and say "I love you, I need you to be safe."<br><br>
Leaving - for a long time, we said goodbye to <i>everything!</i> "Goodbye, train" "Goodbye, books" "Goodbye, cars" Saying goodbye was our way of transitioning easily. That, and giving a very tangible countdown: "you can go around the track one more time, and then it's time to go" Five minutes meant nothing at that age, but things he could count - a story, after lining up the toys, when the clock goes bong...-that helped tons.<br><br>
I think the one thing to keep in mind at this age is <i>how can I help him see it?</i> Small children really need to have as many senses as possible involved before they can understand a rule, so listening to mom just doesn't work. They have to hear, say, see, and do with consistent results to really get what you want them to know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LilyGrace</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10704601"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">With the examples you gave, I'd mostly say just relax. My mantra is "where there's a will, there's a way!" It doesn't necessarily have to be the way I first thought. The food issue - grazing is totally normal. When it is absolutely necessary to have the child at the table (restaurants, guest dinners), put the plate down first, then the child in the chair. No waiting. It gives a few extra minutes of actually enjoying the meal. After, offer a fidgity toy - something that has a few doors to open and close, twisty knobs, squishy texture (an I Spy sealed bag is great for getting a few more minutes!)<br><br>
With the "owsigh" - I think having a slightly spacy 1st child and an anal retentive second child helped me see the wisdom in routines and schedules. If you hang a string on the wall you can use clothespins to attach a "what we're doing today" list - one picture for each major thing. As you move along in your day your ds can move a clip from one picture to the next. Suddenly, it's not so confusing and arbitrary to him. He can see there's a time for 'owsigh' and it's three pictures away. It's not just 'cause mommy says so, you know?<br>
And mix it up a little inside! He's old enough now to appreciate a cave, or a homemade drum or playing with pudding or a box of dry noodles and cups or flashlight play. Pick one new activity a day for a while, and at the same time remove some seldom played with toys. In a few weeks, reoffer the old toys one at a time.<br><br>
I'm not entirely non-coercive, but I do pick my battles. Getting in a carseat is not something I'm willing to negotiate over. I offer my sympathy, my empathy, and a bit of distraction once on the road, but I don't believe it's my job to make the problem go away all the time, or even to put it off and go through hoops each time. I can help a child deal, which is just as important as helping the bumps go away, and say "I love you, I need you to be safe."<br><br>
Leaving - for a long time, we said goodbye to <i>everything!</i> "Goodbye, train" "Goodbye, books" "Goodbye, cars" Saying goodbye was our way of transitioning easily. That, and giving a very tangible countdown: "you can go around the track one more time, and then it's time to go" Five minutes meant nothing at that age, but things he could count - a story, after lining up the toys, when the clock goes bong...-that helped tons.<br><br>
I think the one thing to keep in mind at this age is <i>how can I help him see it?</i> Small children really need to have as many senses as possible involved before they can understand a rule, so listening to mom just doesn't work. They have to hear, say, see, and do with consistent results to really get what you want them to know.</div>
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Thanks, good ideas!
 

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I wouldn't force feed your baby. He has physical reactions to hunger, and it is important to learn to not ignore hungry and not hungry signals. Trust him, he knows when he is hungry.<br><br>
Yes, outside is a tricky one. Do you have a patio or balcony where he can putter by himself, but safely?<br><br>
Oh the carseat battles! It is a tricky one. We still fight with our 3.5 year old, because she gets carscik and she associates the two things.<br><br>
Unfortunately, it is non-negotiable, like holdings hands in a parking lot or crossing the street. Just give yourself extra time to get him in...and maybe you can sit in the back with him sometimes and keep him company?<br><br>
This is normal, you are not alone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TonyaW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10699866"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What would you do when you want your child to eat and they eat a little and then want to stand up in their chair and get down and or play or be held by you?</div>
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I would let him get down. At that age a "nibble tray" worked great. We used an ice cube tray with a variety of snacks (crackers, hummus, fruit pieces, etc) on the coffee table. Now at 2yo DS will sit at the table pretty well during snacks and meals... but still doesn't eat much at a time. Their stomachs and attention spans are so small!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TonyaW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10699866"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How do I deal with my son who wants to go outside as he says "owsigh" allllll dayyyy looooong. I take him out as much as I can. But it is a bit cool in the morning. I think he would live outside if he could and he is bored with indoor stuff!!! By lunch time he is crying because he wants and is begging to go "owsigh." I usually say we will go outside after nap time and snack time when it is warmer. This doesn't mean much to him now.</div>
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For my DS, one reason he likes outside so much is that there are less "no's", he can run around more, and make more messes. We have found that it works well to let him do messy things inside. For example:<br><br>
Lay towels down on the kitchen floor and give containers of water to pour and stir. Maybe add some food coloring to the water to make it more fun!<br><br>
Cornstarch mixed with the right amount of water is a fun thing to play and experiment with.. is it liquid or solid?<br><br>
Get him in the empty bathtub with some fingerpaints or bath crayons to draw on the shower walls!<br><br>
Play chase through the house.<br><br>
Play catch or kick around a soft ball.<br><br>
Bubbles.<br><br>
Dance to music.... music you like too, not just kiddie music.<br><br>
Let him play with some rice, flour, or oats by pouring them into different containers. You can always sweep up, and you may be surprised how long it will entertain him.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TonyaW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10699866"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I put him in his car seat and he really struggles and cries not to go. I try to go places a lot where once we get there he really enjoys whatever we are doing. I rarely go shopping except to the store once a week and sometimes he doesn't go. I guess the struggle is that he doesn't want to leave the fun thing we are doing. He he uses the nurse sign to manipulate me not to put him in the car seat and then won't nurse..</div>
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DS1 usually likes a snack or special toy to keep him busy in the carseat. Who really wants to be physically restrained like that? Especially when everything in their little bodies is telling them to move, explore, learn!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>TonyaW</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10699866"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">These are just some of our issues and I wonder how you GD with them. I am still learning about GDing and non coercive parenting. I know other parents who have kids my age and are wondering about discipline too.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Personally I think it gets better as they learn to communicate better and their language expands. Your baby is in a manipulator, he is responding to a very deep need to move and explore and learn as much as possible! This age is hard and a constant learning experience for everyone. Also a lesson in patience and creativity.
 
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