[vegemamato]

when people comment on nip how do you respond? I'm almost always caught off-guard, and I've even laughed out loud.. I feel like I should be quoting laws and stuff but I don't want to inspire anger- I want to inspire acceptance!

so, yesterday, I'm on a bus with my three daughters (8, 4.5 and 14 mos). It was hot- 80 degrees- and there was no air-flow.. I usually don't use a blanket anyway but I occasionally will if I feel like my daughter is uncomfortable..

anyway, this older woman- about 70-75- was sitting by us and kept looking over. after 5 min or so she finally said "I have three daughters too, and I breastfed each one. I ALWAYS used a blanket though."

I nodded, and told her how great it is that she bf

literally 30 sec later she says "you really should cover up, you don't want strange men looking." I say that we're fine..

then, 30 sec later "you NEED to be more discreet." I smile and look back down at the baby..

then, as we're getting off (2 min later) she asked if I have a husband

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You know, I get that she was just trying to be helpful and I really didn't want to offend her (she seemed sweet at first) but it got to a point where I had to just look down. It's not like I was even showing nipple either- I had a hoodie propped up (just not over). and the husband comment

- does she think I nurse to attract men? WTH? soooo not what I'm doing

so, what would you have said? How can I educate people in situations like this rather than become defensive and feel embarrassed? fwiw, my husband's single non-dad friend thought she was way out of line.. he thinks it's amazing that I've breastfed three children (without blankets

).

TIA fopr any comments/suggestions!

 

[Tine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegemamato so, what would you have said? How can I educate people in situations like this rather than become defensive and feel embarrassed?

I may be the wrong person to respond, since my gut reaction is invariably anger and snark. (I don't usually voice those unpleasant instincts, but I *hate* it when people act so stupid. My blood pressure instantly rises.)

Anyway....

Honestly, I probably would have reacted the same way you did (more or less ignoring the lady) up until she said, "You need to be more discreet." I would have replied, "No, I think you need to be more polite. You're setting a terrible example for my children."

 

[evermore82]

I likely would have responded as you did, and stick with the facts. I may have said something about the heat--how it would overheat the baby. Or about the dangers of SIDs when covering a baby's head with a blanket and the legality of NIP.

The woman did go too far with the husband comment. De-sexualize breastfeeding, people! Come on!

I get flustered when someone says something about NIP, but I try to keep my cool. I take your side, too, with pretty much catching more flies with honey.

 

[MichelleAnnette]

I have only had nice comments while nursing (well, except once), but I might have said, "Oh, I'm so sorry you felt that you had to use a blanket but it is wonderful that you breastfed. It's so great now that people understand that breasts are for breastfeeding and don't need to be covered up. Did you know that (insert state) law protects my right to breastfeed and even says it does not matter if the nipple, areola, or other body part shows?"

 

[JamieCatheryn]

I'd have mentioned the heat: "We're fine, this is no weather for a blanket. Don't worry about us."

 

[mags]

I just blow the other person off and tell them to leave me alone. My mom is not as old as the lady you mentioned in your experience, BUT she has basically made the same annoying comments to me (and no, she did NOT BF), with the same, wait a minute and then repeat the same thing again, thinking I am too dense to get her drift. The worst time was when she made my brothers and their girlfriends form a human wall so ppl couldn't see me BFing...

 

[harmonyhobbit]

I think I'd mention the heat. I don't recall anyone ever telling me cover up (aside from my hubby). She was way out of line, but I think her intentions were good.

 

[momo7]

I'm sorry for you. I would have said "You know what...thank you for your concern now kindly mind your own buisiness."

I know it sounds rude, but she was rude and shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. I am usually a very kind person who answers intrusive questions about my children or my nursing or whatever and i don't mind questions but you know when people are getting nosy and she crossed the line.

People like that deserve what they get when other people bark at them.