How do you keep from getting angry?

Anger is always a cover for fear. If you can say the fear, you may feel vulnerable but you have a lot better chance of making a difference.

-I'm afraid I will never be able to get through to you and I'll end up hating you because you won't listen to me.

-I'm afraid I can't make the difference to end circumcision that I want to. Tell me what you would need to hear to change your mind about this?

- I'm afraid that more boys are going to suffer because I'm not getting this across the way I want to.

I've been thinking this morning how much I am at war within myself and how I manifest that out in the world to those who don't agree with me. I'm praying to be an instrument of peace in all that I do. Biggest challenge of my life but, if circumcision is to end, it's going to take me getting over my killer tendencies .
Baybee

Thanks for that, baybee!

For myself, I don't usually feel angry at parents. I'm angry at our culture, at the system...but parents? Honestly, they are extremely conditioned, and at the same time almost always extremely ignorant about normal penile anatomy, the foreskin and it's functions, circumcision procedures, potential complications, and guarenteed long-term sexual affects. How can I hold that against them? I put myself in the same position, imaging having not worked in a birth center with the benefit of seeing circumcision with my own eyes. Would I have stumbled across truth along the way? Maybe yes, maybe no. I'm thankful that I did, but I consider myself fortunate.

In a country in which the care providers---the presumed 'experts---pediatricians, nurses, urologists are ignorant as to foreskin care and the benefits of keeping babies whole, how can we be angry at parents for thinking circumcision is best, and following through?

I genuinely believe most parents mean well, and most would be distraught if they knew the truth.

While all this may sound rather hopeless, keep in mind that our numbers are growing, and circumcision rates are dropping. In another thread, I mentioned how a nurse was giving out bad information, based on an inaccurate textbook. It was on a very mainstream parenting board, in completely not circumcision related forum...and there were over 70 responses. I saw all sorts of screennames I was completely unfamiliar with, people that don't frequent the debate or intact care forum...and they were correcting her. With confidence! I was amazed at how many people ARE learning the truth.

We will prevail. RIC will end. Not overnight, but it WILL happen.

Jen

I don't keep from getting angry. I believe anger is a normal and healthy response to a gross human rights violation. I do agree that I am far more angry with the medical profession than I am with individual parents who didn't know better....but then again there's my BIL and SIL who circed knowing better after dh and I educated them. Them, I'm still f-ing angry at and have no respect for. If I could cut them out of my life, I would in a heartbeat.

Stella luna, have you tried educating your sister? Please don't give up without a fight....can you send her medical journal articles? I would go straight for these two from the British Journal of Urology. Appeal to her scientific side - ask her why she knows better than the AAP and ask her whether she would cut her own foreskin off (she knows she has one, obviously!).

http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/taylor/

http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/cold-taylor/

You could also try the web video "The Prepuce" at www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org

August is a long way off! There's still lots of time to get through to her and save your nephew. It ain't over until the foreskin hits the floor.

Thanks, Quirky! I will try, and will send her the links you suggested. But I'm not hopeful. I keep remembering when I was pregnant, and we told my family we would NOT circ if it was a boy, she reacted in much the same manner. At that time, I gave her all the arguments, but she adamantly refused to listen, and kept coming back to her argument that she thinks they look gross. No one else in my family cared at all, except for her. Of course, that's better than my DH's "family"'s reaction, who were so furious over it that they disowned us, and the baby.

But I will try, for my nephew. She's just verrrrrry non-crunchy, very mainstream. She *is* planning to breastfeed, which honestly shocked me (but in a good way!) But she was also horrified by our cosleeping, vegetarianism, breastfeeding, etc. So she's a hard case.