Mothering Forum banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,548 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I started this thread on another message board I frequent, and the responses were wonderful, so I thought I would do the same here.<br><br>
What are your methods and practices? I need some new ideas, as my imagination and libido are waning.:LOL <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"><br><br>
And this isn't reserved for those who are married...<br><br>
What are your secrets?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,304 Posts
come on!!<br><br>
soon to be wed here waiting for the tricks of the trade!!!<br><br>
Aimee
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,524 Posts
Moving this to parents as partners forum<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hippie.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hippie">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
259 Posts
Easy one!<br><br>
Just say one nice thing to your DH every day, smile and let your eye contact linger for a moment.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Or try one of these..<br><br>
-set a nice dinner table, wine and flowers<br>
-wear something sexy to bed (or nothing)<br>
-put something sweet in his briefcase/lunch for him to discover later<br>
-pack a picnic lunch for the beach/park and just relax<br>
-make his favorite drink (coffee/tea/martini..)<br>
-go on a walk/hike and just enjoy being outside with him, and talk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
312 Posts
On the subject of romance, i will have to look at past relationships. dh isnt one to be romantic, he did that with all HIS past relationships. he has his first gf's name tattoed on his arm(but,, just had it covered with our 3 kids names!!),, took them on exotic vacations, etc....<br>
my ex('s) would leave me little notes everywhere, write me poetry, bring me little gifts, plan trips to the city, including hotel & shopping!!, make me romantic dinners, big on candles, inscence, and music;<br>
dh is lucky cause i had so much sappy romance in my life i was sick of it when i met him.<br>
i guess 'romance' now means sitting on the couch together rubbing each others feet, trying to get the kids to bed early enough we can 'do it' before we fall asleep too.... buying a bottle of wine and making a nice meal, even if the kids don't eat it; me serving him meals in bed (although i feel more like a slave than a a romantic!); he doesnt notice if i make a nice table or his favourite drink etc; just part of the routine!<br>
i dont want alot of romance, really, except for one thing;; i want him to propose to me. 10 years too late maybe. but we talk of it and i told him, no way, i am not getting married just for something to do.<br>
i want him to ASK me. and i want a token of a ring. i want him to do it right, traditionally, to surprise me, to mean it, to say those 4 words; to go to the store, pick out a ring, put little bits of money down till we can afford the whole thing....(i'm talking cheap, no big rocks for me. material i ain't) and i want him to do it all without me having the slightest inkling.....<br>
sigh. i guess i am sort of sappy when it comes down to it.<br>
he didnt take the hint, yet, anyway. i hold out hope that he may figure it out yet.<br>
we'll probably just never get married.<br>
romance isnt high on our list, unfortunately(maybe.)<br>
sorry if i rambled off topic there:p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,448 Posts
let's see what I can think of too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Dh rubs my feet and gives me little 'scratchies' along my arm, and back and all those wonderful little sensitive spots that gives me goose bumps. I in return scratch his back for him too...<br><br>
When I used to pack Dh's lunch (or when he'd pack mine) we'd always write a little "I love you" or "I'll miss you" or "XXXOOO" or something sweet on the napkin with a marker...<br><br>
We aren't doing this so much now that Dh is SO sleepy at night time, but we used to snuggle in bed for oh anywhere for 10 minutes to an hour, just talking about whatever before we went to sleep. Now Dh does call me in the bedroom in the middle of the early evening to snuggle for a few minutes and we do the same thing which is very sweet.<br><br>
I buy him little specials at the store. You know, a favorite drink, a little snackie he loves, a magazine I know he'd like... He'll do the same for me if he has/wants to run by the store... pick me up just a little something I really enjoy...<br><br>
Dh does this cute little "tackle" to me sometimes. Sits next to me, looking all innocent, then waits for me to not pay attention and gently *pounces* on me, giving me a gentle bear hug and saying "I got the Princess!" (that's his nickname for me). Its TOO cute! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
I think that most of the romance that is in our relationship is there just because one of us takes a moment to randomly go hug and or kiss or touch a shoulder or hand or whatever a few times (or more) a day. We're not super duper romantic usually. I love my candles, but they get lit rarely. Dh buys me flowers occasionally, and we go out to dinner mostly when we don't feel like cooking... so we're not very "romantic" but our friends would say we're 'mushy' because we always take a moment here and there to have a second of physical contact. I think that's what really works for us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,577 Posts
I don't think so much about romance--nor does dh--but I do think about the importance of BEING NICE. Little displays of appreciation and warmth, you know? I read last week about a study that could predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple was headed for a divorce in the next couple years--and it was all about kindness and gestures. There was a critical ratio of 5:1, nice:not nice.<br><br>
I guess I try to "find" romance in nice gestures--since what they mean underneath is that I am personally important to dh. When he cleans the house, takes us out to lunch, or takes ds with him to the hardware store to give me a few moments alone, I really appreciate that. I also go out of my way to do things that are nice for him, like making foods he especially likes, scratching his back, listening while he talks about his day at work, taking care of some things that are normally "his" chores.<br><br>
We make an effort to do "romantic" things when ds is napping. That's when we might soap backs in the shower, snuggle together on the futon, watch a funny movie, talk about our plans for the future.<br><br>
We're not very "romantic" by others' standards (we have not been out without ds ever, and he is almost 2.5yo), but we can laugh a lot and we truly LIKE each other, so I think we're all right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,844 Posts
I'm trying to find something romantic to do for dh right now too...<br>
He is really on my do-be list right now as he quit drinking & is working double shifts to cover the shifts that were exhausting me at the restaurant...He rocks!<br>
I was thinking about flowers but I don't know if he'd really appreciate them or just pretend he did.<br>
Basically, I follow this thing I heard awful Dr. Phil say once: Every day you wake up, focus on what you can do to make his/her life that much happier. As much as I hate his co-sleeping rhetoric, he got that much (and the spanking thing) right.<br><br>
On second thought, dh would like sex better than flowers.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top