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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
for labor and the birth?
I'm annoyed with myself for even asking this question. But, it's been on my mind.
I'm due in a month, and the only class I have taken is the hypnobabies home study course, which is great, but i haven't made the time to practice like i should be. Also, throughout this whole pregnancy I have felt fearless about giving birth naturally, even though I have never done it before.
I have until my due date (sept 30) to practice the hb every day, and i plan to. But my gut is telling me to not rely on this method alone, but to use it as one of many tools to help me in labor.
I have read a ton about natural childbirth. I feel that I have educated myself more than I thought possible! I have surrounded myself with people here at MDC who also feel empowered to do this, or who have done it before, and who believe in the ability of women to do this.

But lately, I've been thinking "if it were to happen today, could i do it?" There's not really a way to know, is there?
How do I explain this? It's like there must be some magical checklist out there of all the things one must accomplish before labor starts in order to be ready and I'm afraid that I don't have everything checked off.
On the other hand, I feel like women are meant to do this, that we've been doing this since the beginning, and that I am no different.

Am I making sense? Any thoughts on this?
 

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Mamaley:

I could have written this post! (Except for the hb part.) You see, I've been having the exact same doubts (and I have about 2 weeks left if I don't go past my past due date)! I advise you to also taylor sit, squat and do some mild exercises to stretch your perineal area. I already feel mine a lot stretchier. Maybe this is a little TMI, but dh is also helping by massaging my perineum with olive oil -- a weird feeling, but worth it if you think about it.

I don't know exactly if first-timers will ever feel truly "ready". I think they will be, but I mean we won't think we are. I feel I've educated myself a lot too, and sometimes knowing too much can make you feel panicky
:

However, I believe we can do this. That nature will kick in and we will apply whatever we've learned, consciously or subsciously, and we will get down to business and have our babies


Hang in there, Mamaley! You're not alone -- just have faith that all of us women can do this and that our bodies are made for birthing.


Good luck, and hope my mumbo jumbo helps..!
 

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I've been using mental imagery, and relaxation techniques, and practicing squatting and all-fours (nice for pelvic rocking to make hips feel better). I haven't had a childbirth class of any kind--I'm supposed to go to the prepared childbirth class at the hospital where I'm birthing on the 12th, just nine days before my due date, so I'm not banking on it if you know what I mean.

I, too, had some reservations about whether I'm ready. But last night I had a dream that tells me my subconscious is geared up for this experience. I dreamt I gave birth almost painlessly upon waking up one morning without enough time to get to the hospital, and was able to squat and 'catch' the baby myself. Basically my subconscious is telling me I can be confident about my ability to labor, so as long as I don't let my conscious mind run the show too much I'm going to be fine--and the relaxation and mental imagery techniques have enabled me to tune out the rational mind in the past, in other situations, so I have confidence that I'm ready for this! If I can so clearly visualize birthing and nursing in my dreams (and this was an exceptionally vivid dream), I can do it for real, kwim?

This dream hinted I do still have some subconscious reservations...like about my ability to correctly strap the baby into the carseat and about the afterbirth, but for the core issues of birthing and nursing the baby, I'm ready!
 

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I got some news for ya. (at least from this never to be humble opinionated perspective)

It's no different the second time around.

I had all the same concerns before having dd -- I went between "Of course i can do this!" to "Will I be able to do this?
: Well, I did it and it was beautiful and empowering and life-altering and everything I ever dared to dream it would be.

Now, you'd think I am an old pro, but I am like that half fearless half fearful me again. I have all the same concerns this time too. Maybe it's just nature's way of making you reconfirm your commitment and keep your birth plans everpresent in your mind. Not to get to cozy or presumptuous-- be present and be conscious.

And by the way, you absolutely CAN do this and your life will change in ways you never imagined. That's the only comfort a second-timer has in the childbirth game -- we know how amazing a transformation it is. You get to be surprised by it


Reading everything you can get your hands on is a great way to prepare, but throw in a few trashy dirty novels for good measure. Don't forget to LIVE!!!! And practice deep ocean breathing. You'll use that one like a lifeline. But there's nothing special about it-- just real, human breathing. Should come naturally
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
All this feeback is really helping, and it's giving me more confidence. Thanks


Ravin, that's so weird, I have had at least 2 dreams about giving birth painlessly unassisted. Maybe my subconscious is telling me that my body can do this.
 

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Just wanted to echo what someone else said, you may never feel totally confident. I don't and this is my third. What might help to hear, is that *usually* the second is quite a bit faster. Mine was. I attribute this to both it being a second birth AND all the work I did preparing myself etc.

I believe strongly that the subconscious works in full-force during pregnancy. It *is* telling you that you can do it, because you can!!
Your body was made to do this and you will pull it off beautifully.

Worry is the work of pregnancy and motherhood. I think your subconscious/the universe is telling you taht you are in fact ready! Your mind may never feel completely prepared, but your primal birthing self is. And don't forget your baby!! Your baby is preparing and is an active participant in the whole thing. You have a great ally there too. I have no doubt that you will do wonderfully. Happy birthing.
 

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I wanted to say I fel the same way. I have more time left than you but I still wonder. My first birth was a c/s after a very long failed induction. I have the fears that I just can't do it.....

I think the "fear" is a healthy thing. It helps us remain aware of the fact that we need to be ready....does that make sense??
 

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I had much MORE fear about giving birth with my second than with my first. Heck, I knew what to expect. I was really afraid I was going to cave and ask for the epidural with the second (I didn't have one with my first) but the second labor was much easier. With the first labor we have absolutely no idea what to expect -- perhaps that is a good thing.


I read "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" with my second and practiced it daily. It was amazing and made labor much easier for me.

Gotta go -- diaper duty.
 

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Your support team is important, too. I'm using a midwife and a birth center so I feel great about that, but I'm a wee bit concerned about DH... I don't think he really realizes how much of a role that he has. He'll need to be supportive and I'm 95% of the time the strong partner... it will be very difficult for him to have me need him. He's 'going along' with a midwife and birth center because it's what I want. He hasn't read any books except "Expectant Father" which is fairly mainstream but open minded to midwives and such. But, I'm likely to belt him if he tells me if I can't eat during labor because "the book you gave me" said not to...

I try to watch "Maternity Ward" around him and explain all of the interventions to him and what I feel about them, it may be the best I can do!

But, you know what, even if he dissolved into a puddle of jello in the birth room baby and I will be just fine.
 

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(mamaley -- just wanted to chime in and say that a month of daily practicing HyB is still a great amount of time to get the full benefits. But, daily practicing does seem to be key.)
 

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Donna, you had me laughing.


My dh sounds a lot like yours, and all of my fears were realized during my first labor (like you, birth center with midwife -- a compromise from my preference -- a homebirth -- to his, a scheduled induction with an OB at a spankin' white maternity ward). Please, forgive me for saying this, but he was pretty worthless as a birth partner.

Lucky for me I had two girlfriends there, one of whom has gone on to become a doula and will be at my upcoming birth as well.

Dh ordered CHinese food, acted like a big baby when I wanted to have Oprah on TV to distract me during early labor, and was outside talking on his cell phone when I was found to be fully dialated (in his defense, he was told to give me some space by one of the nurses because I was only 3 cm -- I went to 10 in a matter of one hour much to everyone's surprise -- we had to call his cell phone and he ran up 7 flights of stairs).

The part he excelled at was the actual birth part -- I got in the tub to deliever and he sat behind me and was so coach-y and excited. That was quite infectious and we did that part together. But for labor? I've told him this time to maybe consider staying out of my way.

Lord I do love that man
 
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