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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My dd is 13 months this week. She typically goes to bed around 6:30pm and sleeps all night, until around 7am. We have a huge king sized bed and she hardly ever really snuggles or is touching us at all. In short, it feels like she completely doesn't need us at night anymore! (kinda sad <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> but good too, I feel pretty well rested lately :LOL )<br><br>
She seems too young to put in her own bed, and I do really enjoy having her there, but there's this feeling of "strike while the iron is hot", you know? I am toying with the idea of getting her a small bed and putting it in our room, that way if she does need us I am right there. Is she too young for this? What would you do?<br><br>
The family bed is in no way problematic for any of us, so it's not that I am eager to end this. I guess I am just (stupidly?) worried that she will be 4 years old and kicking us all night and refusing to sleep in her own bed and I will say, "Dang it, I should have moved her out when I had the chance!!".<br><br>
So what would you do?
 

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"Strike while the iron is hot"?<br><br>
Not quite.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Why mess with a good thing? And why assume that a 4yo in bed is a bad thing? We've got a 4yo in our bed, along with a 6yo & 2yo & baby, and nobody's refusing to sleep in their own bed ... because they're already in their own bed.<br><br>
Their own family bed.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br><br>
FWIW, our 6yoDS has several times asked to sleep on his own, so we've set up a bed for him in another room, and he went through a stage when he was 4/5 of wanting to fall asleep in there, and then at some point in the night would come back in with the rest of us. He lost interest in it after a while. Much warmer & cozier & comfortabler with everyone else around.<br><br><br><br><br>
After all, we spend so much of our adult lives looking for someone to sleep with. It's obviously such an important thing, necessary thing, even for adults, right? So why wouldn't it be for children?<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Wishing you joy with whatever you decide.
 

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I think that you have to do what feels right to you.......however....<br><br>
I swear, in this culture we worry SO much about years from now, that we make incredible life decisions at the expense of our children in the here and now.<br>
Why not enjoy the JOY that you have in your life with your present sleeping situation, instead of changing it because your present contentment may "screw you later"?<br><br>
So many co-sleeping families would absolutely LOVE to be in your shoes! Having a little one who sleeps through the night is pretty rare, why change it? She is ONLY a year old! You obviously have done an awesome job at meeting her needs, why change it now?<br><br>
I totally know what your asking, but enjoy the here and now! Why worry about years down the road and assume you are creating a little monster down the road because you are meeting her needs right now? It sounds like mainstream thinking rather than instinctual mothering like you have been doing for the last year.<br><br>
Keep doing what you are doing and trusting your little girl and yourself.<br>
Enjoy the present without constantly worrying about the future. Enjoy your family and remember, following your instincts will not lead you wrong.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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I knew they were ready for their own bed when they told me so (or showed me, whatever)<br><br>
I say if it's all good right now then let it be. Enjoy having her there (it sounds as if you do) and the snugliness of the fam bed. I don't think a 4 year old is too old to have in your bed, but then I don't think any age is too old so long as everyone is happy. My 11 year old still often sleeps with me and Dh. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Oh, trust me, if she's 4 or 14 and the family bed is still working out she is welcome there! I was just being my usual pessimistic self and imagining there being a time when it isn't working and being mad that I didn't get her in her own bed when I could have. You know? It's just my nature, it annoys even me.<br><br>
But, I think you are right - it's working so I should just enjoy right now and forget about what might or might not happen. I really am not looking forward to the day she's in her own bed, it will be a huge, sad milestone. I already feel so unwanted at night! Don't get me wrong, the sleep is nice, but sometimes I try to cuddle her and she grunts and rolls away from me! :LOL
 
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