[jaam]

I'd love to be able to make some new friends, I have virtually no support network here. But I'm about to turn 32, and am a full-time student at a local community college, where most of the other students are either retired or just out of high school. There does seem to be single moms sort of close to my age, but most of them are in programs like nursing, or dental hygiene and I have very few overlapping classes with those types of programs. Are there any other single student moms out there who have run into this, or am I missing something???

x-posting in single parenting. which is where i meant to post it in the first place! oops.

 

[Mommel]

I've had the same thing. I met one single mama in my department, but she graduated last year, and since then nothing! What is your major? It seems like all the single mamas I've run into are in the social work or humanities programs here (I'm in econ/math). The only place where we all overlapped was in stats.

 

[jaam]

I'm majoring in fine arts. So, definitely not your typical "single mom" field, if there is such a thing, I guess

My school has accelerated nursing and dental hygiene programs that are attractive to single moms because it gets you in and out quickly, presumably into a good-paying, stable job right away. (I considered it but decided I'd be miserable in the long run if I tried to force myself into something that wasn't "me".)

It's just frustrating because being a mom and being a student pretty much takes up my whole life as I haven't figured out how to fit in anything else. So for now, school is the only place I would be able to meet anyone. Maybe I need to start a single parent student support group and advertise around campus to see if there's any interest.

 

[Mommel]

I totally agree that between school and motherhood there is very little time left. I have a spiritual community that I was very involved with before I had my son, but now I'm only peripherally connected to them it seems. That said, if I did have a single mom support group to connect with, I wouldn't have much time for them either! For me, it's just taken some getting used to, but I'm also fairly introverted, so it's easier for me to be alone I think.

Edit (I got baby-distracted and forgot to finish):

Fine arts!? Awesome. I feel the same about money vs. passion. My Dad spent so much of his working life in a job he hated to support my sister and me, as a single father. When he finally started his dream job (which he is very good at, by the way) we were all grown up, and if he'd started younger he could have really gone far, I think. I followed suit for a long time, forsaking my passion for the money path, losing it (the money and the passion), finding it again (the passion), starting the work of it too late in life... I definitely don't want my kiddo to inherit that mistake. I want him to know that if he's good at something, loves it, and works hard at it to get better, he can make money at it if he wants to.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people that encourages their kids to pursue ridiculous dreams of super-stardom when their kid is obviously an untalented hack, but I do believe that we should encourage passion by showing our kids how to make it happen. Call me a dreamer... I'm cool with that.