[sadie_sabot]

Someone said something to me the other day about how dd is approaching her 'terrible twos'. Now, I LOVE toddlers. I loved 'em when i was a teenage babysitter, I loved 'em when i was a daycare provider, and I love them now that I'm mom of one.

And I especially am irked when these comments are said right in front of my dd. there's nothing terrible about her, thank you very f**ing much!

But mostly people say such things so thoughtlessly, with no idea that there are actually people in the world who object to casual thoughtless devaluing of our kids, and I know that to go off on them will not help to broaden their horizons. so, I'm looking for gentle yet firm ways to make it clear that "terrible twos" is a horrible and stupid thing to say.

(all I've managed is to say, "oh, I think the twos are terrific", whch got me a funny 'are you craxzy lady? look)

 

[scorpioqueen]

Ugg I hate that comment I mostly get it from DH and it really annoys me. Like if DD is refusing to eat her dinner he says she's getting ready for the terrible twos! I hate it on two levels. 1) Too me it's excuses certain behavior, like on your toddler throws lots of tantrums it must be those terrible twos... 2) I'm a strong believer that a child will live up to the expectation you set for them, not just I expect my child to behave as so but the belief that my child can behave. Basically you give a positive impression of your child they will in turn mimic this, give the impression there in a terrible two stage they will act it out. KWIM? (sorry it's late)

Deanna

 

[saturnine25]

I've never really come up with anything better than to counter with the "terrific twos" phrase, although once I said to a stranger who had made a terrible twos comment that "No two year old is terrible, their behavior is age appropriate." She gave me a look as though I had insulted her on the deepest level and left. So, I'm also looked forward to hearing how others handle the "terrible twos" comment

 

[luckylady]

Just yesterday I had a conversation with a woman. She commented on ellerie, and then asked if she was a "terrible two" and I said no, she's a wonderful 2! So then she said, then you're in for it when she's a teenager. If they are mellow at two they let lose at thirteen.

You just can't win.

I think people call them the terrible 2's because the 2 is breaking away from you, striving for independence and for many parents it turns into a battle of wills. It's sad.

 

[Dragonfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadie_sabot (all I've managed is to say, "oh, I think the twos are terrific", whch got me a funny 'are you craxzy lady? look)

That's the way I always handled it, too. "We're in the terrific twos! " Or "I love this age! He just gets more fun all the time!"

People can be so odd when it comes to children...

 

[Cranberry]

I used to say "I think toddlers are terrific." Or "He's 2, this is normal behavior. I don't think it's terrible. He's exploring and discovering the world around him."

And then I would duck.

 

[Alkenny]

"Oh, you must be going through the terrible 40's (50's, etc...whatever their age!)" *LOL*

Seriously, I LOVE the toddler age. 18 months to 5-6 years old is so great. They're exploring and everything's new to them and they get so excited over everything and come up with some of the cutest/goofiest stuff.

 

[HotMama]

"Oh, you must be going through the terrible 40's (50's, etc...whatever their age!)" *LOL*QUOTE]

Ouch! I know quite a few women in that stage...you know, the I know everything stage.

 

[Evergreen]

:LOL Terrible 40s!

I have been getting "Ohhh, she is going through the terribel twos early." lately. Thanks

:.

I usually counter with, "No she is behaving age appropriately."

 

[Dodo]

I actually don't find the term offensive. I thought that I might, but I don't. I find it comforting to know that it is so common for the third year to be a difficult one that it even got its own name.

Maybe my child is more of a handful than some.

 

[Justice2]

I am not bothered by the term either, and in fact, use it myself. I think that the 2's are a wonderful age as well, with all of the exploration and independence, which leads to the tantrums, which is why the 2's got their name.

 

[sadie_sabot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scorpioqueen 2) I'm a strong believer that a child will live up to the expectation you set for them, not just I expect my child to behave as so but the belief that my child can behave. Basically you give a positive impression of your child they will in turn mimic this, give the impression there in a terrible two stage they will act it out. KWIM? (sorry it's late) Deanna

yeah, I totalyy believe that and i see it in action. and that's part of why I don't like the term.

I guess being sweet and gentle about it is good,,,even though my inclination is to be real cranky ("how DARE you call my wonderful child 'terrible?")

terrible 40's, I love it....

 

[mom2lyndsey]

Actually, we're having more of a problem with age 3. When people would make comments my usual answer was "2 year olds may be prone to having an honest melt down, what's your excuse for being rude"

Mom to Lyndsey

 

[nicholas_mom]

Quote:

So then she said, then you're in for it when she's a teenager. If they are mellow at two they let lose at thirteen.

Just to ease your mind.....this is psychologically wrong

:

 

[mamasarah]

:
actually, i say that jokingly to people.

i love my almost 2 year old and i think the "terrible 2" phrase is funny. it doesn't neccessarily mean that i think she's terrible! i know she's just a 2 yr old and she's going to do crazy stuff! so, there are some of us out there that can say that jokingly and still be open-minded and ap.

i'll probably get yelled at, but just wanted to offer my opinion.

 

[burritomama]

I admit to disliking the phrase -- and my little guy is only a couple months into his second year so I have months and months to look forward to people annoucing this...yikes.

I agree that I worry what kind of effect these pronouncements have on my child - he hears it ALL now and repeats it too!

and it does remind me of the other comments we get about him being a boy, all boy - and you know what boys are like, yadda yadda yadda - destructive, loud, etc. Or esle they say, or he's so nice for a boy or so well behaved for a boy or so quiet for a boy.

Sorry - OT rant.

 

[oceanbaby]

I hate his phrase too. My FIL used to love to insist that we were going to go through the terrible twos, that ds was going to be such a handful at two, blah blah blah. Well, ds is 3yo, and 2-3 was the easiest stage yet! (I'm finding 3 to be a bit harder actually!)

I used to just kind of brush it off, but it did irk me when they said it in front of ds. I'd just say something like "nothing terrible about it so far." If you try to argue it, they'll just insist that you haven't hit it yet, so it's pretty pointless.

My mom insists that the phrase 'terrible twos' comes from parents who don't allow their children to explore and develop into their own beings, and therefore run into a lot of problems at the age when kids start to exercise their independence.

 

[Melaniee]

I detest the phrase. It's one thing if you want to insult your own child, don't insult mine. (we need a mama bear emoticon).

Quote:

2 year olds may be prone to having an honest melt down, what's your excuse for being rude"

:LOL

ETA I'm thinking of making him a shirt that says "Terrifically Two!"

 

[sleepies]

i usually say "It isn't easy being two".

 

[Boadicea]

I had a shirt made for me, and a matching one for DS, that says "This 2 shall pass".

I have to say, this age has been the most difficult for me to deal with, but I do agree that our children will live up to the standard we set for them! Having said that, I am looking forward to the age of reason ... when is that again?!?