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Discussion Starter #1
Do you offer any input, or bite your tongue?<br><br>
Last night my BIL and his fiancé came over for dinner. They seem to be anxiously trying to get in shape before their June wedding. I finally realized they believe in "low fat" as the way to lose weight when they refused both my homemade ranch dressing and sour cream in their soup. (Although they unwittingly ate my uber high-fat tapioca pudding with coconut cream and butter, rofl.)<br><br>
I feel so bad for them because I know from personal experience that low-fat rarely works, and it will leave them undernourished and low energy. Would you say something to your friend in that situation, or just leave them to do whatever they think is best?
 

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I would bring it up gently... "I think it's fabulous that you guys are trying to lose weight. I've done a lot of reading in that area. Did you want to see some of the research I've done? You might find it helpful, and you might find that you actually CAN go back to eating some of the foods you really enjoy." Then point them in the direction of <a href="http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?sec=health&res=9F04E2D61F3EF934A35754C0A9649C8B63" target="_blank">this article</a> which is one of the best I've read.<br><br>
My DH frequently reminds me though that I am not the most tactful person on the planet so this may not be the best approach. But, I think if you care about people and they do things out of simple ignorance that can hurt them, if you approach it gently you'd think they ought to be ok with that, right?
 

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I appearnetly am also not the most "gentle" person when it comes to what I beleive people should be eating...As a matter of fact, dh suggested I refrain from talking about food while eating <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
But, I do say things...and at least I mention what has worked for me....both for loosing weight but also for engergy etc. And I am know to pull out studies and research etc...<br><br>
Tanya<br><br>
PS love that artcle and refer people to it alot...
 

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You arent that gentle when it comes to food either? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I get rather excited when there is something Im passionate about. I have the same problem when I encounter my bfriend thats vegetarian. I have to bite my tongue, but if she asks for advice than give it to her(respectfully).
 

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Well, I'm a good example to everyone. I have been skinny/thin my whole life. I weight 200 after both of my kids and lost all of it with no troubles. Not sure what happened during the pregnancy, but it never troubled me terribly, I always lost the weight. I just ballooned like a whale!<br><br>
Everyone that comes over sees the pictures on the wall of my fat rolls <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">, and they see me now, which I am very thin. My sister has just now realized that maybe I've been on to something and she started eating more fat and feeling better. She is thin anyways, but she slaves at the gym to stay that way, and is always bitchy and hungry!
 

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I'm struggling with this as well. A close friend proudly tells me how she's a grazer and she just had fruits and vegetables during the day and almost no meat and dairy and verrry low fat. But she has no energy and her hair is falling out and dry and her skin is very dry too. So, how do I gently tell her that she needs more than what she's getting? That if she had adequate protein intake her hair would be better? And her skin too.<br><br>
DH tells me I'm not very good at talking about food either. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I'm starting to make it a point not to say anything about food in general because apparently I've grossed a few people out in my time... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Hmm maybe I'll send them this website: <a href="http://breadandmoney.com" target="_blank">http://breadandmoney.com</a>
 

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I bite my tounge unless asked.<br><br>
People seem very touchy about food and seem to resist uninvited suggestions. In my experience anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> And, I can understand this as I have been lectured my well-meaning friends on the hidden evils of milk, meat, etc. I never enjoy other people when they start telling me what to do.<br><br>
Maybe you could simply offered them a book or article to read. That usually comes off fairly neutral.<br><br>
My MIL eats viturally no-fat, egg-beaters, margarine, skim milk and looks like it! When she complained about her hair, her energy level, lack of sleep, anemia, etc, I mentioned maybe she needs more fat and protein. She said that was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard of and would only do that if she wanted to drop dead tommorrow.<br>
Maybe one day she will change her mind . . . .. . .. . .. .
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>abclan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7965252"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I bite my tounge unless asked.</div>
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Me too. I've got a "If you don't ask, I won't tell" policy.<br><br>
It's hard sometimes. I had a friend come over for a visit whom I hadn't seen in years. Before the visit, she mentioned she'd gained a lot of weight, and I replied that I hoped she wasn't on a diet, because we eat high-fat. She had nothing to say (shocked silence?).<br><br>
When she came over, she mentioned something about making low-fat equivalents of Starbucks drinks. I made a nice breakfast of ham, eggs, cut-up fresh fruit, coffee and cream, and she only drank the latter. Yet later on, she went out and got a soda and chips from the store!<br><br>
Did anyone see the new Denise Austen book on losing stomach fat? Out of curiosity I checked it out from the library. The woman is positively draconian when it comes to fat—all the meals totaled 30%, with 10% or less coming from saturated fat. She said she even throws out the yolk from hard boiled eggs! I wonder what she looks like in person? That regimen can't be good for her hair or skin.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Chicharronita</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7965955"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She said she even throws out the yolk from hard boiled eggs!</div>
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Oh, that's a terrible sin. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!">
 

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Discussion Starter #11
On that note, has anyone read a book called "The Female Fat Cell"? I've got a friend who read it and this friend is generally into healthful eating, but she also thinks butter is evil and all fat except olive oil is bad. I'm wondering if that book supports those ideas or if she just picked them up by living in modern American culture. I keep trying to get her interested in NT but no luck so far.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Taedareth</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963456"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hmm maybe I'll send them this website: <a href="http://breadandmoney.com" target="_blank">http://breadandmoney.com</a></div>
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Wow what an awesome site! Thanks for posting this!
 

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If it comes up that they are trying a new diet, I usually rec'd "Eat Fat, Lose Fat" and tell them that I lost my baby fat so much easier with my second after we changed our diet (I didn't do the coconut diet specifically, but I read the book). I talk about how much more satisfied dh and I feel when eating full fat foods. Its not so much of a jump from Atkins, either.
 
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