Mothering Forum banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Not at all.
It's taking the damn thing home that totally changes your life. :)
First off, everyone says you'll never sleep. That's garbage. My babies both slept pretty well while quite young. Most toddlers sleep like crazy, so you will sleep. There's a stretch there where you're napping on the toilet at the office, but it passes faster than most people tell you.
But, what they don't tell you is that your sleep schedule is radically altered. You don't go places at the times you used to. Dinner at 8pm? Yeah, no. Junior needs to be in bed at 8 because he'll be up at 1 for his middle of the night feeding and then again at 6 because it's morning at 6 and babies think bright lights means playtime. Don't want to get up at 6 for the next 18 years? Don't have a baby. They get up at 6 for half a decade and by the time they learn that getting up at 6 is stupid, they are in school and you have to wake them up at 6. So yeah, you're a morning person now, Sparky. You're also going to be eating dinner from 4:17 until 4:19 for a while. And the love of your life will likely not be joining you.
Ok, next up, you are gonna have to get used to carrying things. Like, every one of the things. Remember just showing up to stuff? I don't. Well, now I get to, because my kids are old enough to carry something heavier than a doll. But for about a decade they can't. So be ready to carry a car seat, which is secretly impregnated with osmium, the densest of all known substances, so as to make it heavier than a neutron star. Also, strollers, sporting gear, food in unending quantities, etc. You're a pack mule.
Food. Ah yes, food. You're going to have to make some or your spawn will die. It's a thing. At first food is easy. Babies nurse (hard on mom, easy on dad) or bottle feed (easier on mom, harder on dad). But either way, food prep is easy. Baby food is a breeze, too. Once they're about two, though, they start not eating whatever you put in front of them. As a parent, your response is to try alternatives to get them to eat. Oh, stupid inexperienced you. I'm not mocking - I did the same thing. And you will, too, even after you read this. You will because when your precious little angel is losing her damned mind because she does NOT LIKE GRAPES!!! you will finally acquiesce and give her crackers.
You're doomed.
I always assumed that they were called crackers because they made a cracking sound when you ate them. Nope. Crackers are called crackers because they are crack to babies. Once they have crackers, all other food is methadone. They. Want. The. Crack. And they will kill you in your sleep to get it.
Ok, I'm being a bit melodramatic. But only a bit. My oldest ate oyster crackers for dinner for a year. We would go to restaurants based on the quantity of free oyster crackers they served with soup. And then we would always order soup. Always. You're gonna get really familiar with the waitress at the diner.
School. I'm a school teacher. I love school. I think school is the greatest of humanity's invention. But school also sucks. Hard. Like "Jimmy won't play with me and so I'm going to cry for the next 6 hours" hard. Also, school makes parents crazy. Every parent wants their kid to get THAT teacher or THE honors math class. You will lose your mind over this stuff.
And if your kid is barely athletic or musical, you will spend the next decade watching your kid be barely athletic or musical while the other 900 barely athletic or musical kids suck at being barely athletic or musical. Read this sentence 10 times: DO NOT LET YOUR KID PLAY SOCCER. Yeah, I know, sports are important. But your kid doesn't know soccer exists. Don't tell them! Pick an indoor sport or you'll be sitting in the rain watching 20 children with barely functioning brains try valiantly to make your intestines run up your neck to throttle you. They will fail at that, too. Want a good sport alternative? Swimming. Indoors, warm (for you), and they serve hotdogs. Also, junior is less likely to drown, which is a plus. As for music, you have fewer options. Pick an instrument that you least hate the sound of.
Dating. My daughters are just barely at the age where this is a thing. But I know parents of older kids, and I can tell you that it's not great. Luckily I'm a chemistry teacher and also the destroyer of worlds. This means I know how to dissolve a human body and pour it into a pond, and also that I have the total lack of moral convictions required to do such a thing. But since you're probably not quite as awesome as I am, just be prepared to lose your mind when your child chooses the worst possible sexual partner in the world, and then has sex with that person repeatedly.
College. Start looking for a local person in need of a kidney right now. It helps to have one of those in case your child does not grow to be 6'8" and extremely good at manipulating leather spheroids. College is kinda pricey.
Leaving home. I'm assuming that I will almost certainly be a withered husk by the time my children move out. As such, I'm not making any plans. Well, I did buy a small plot.
All that being said, being a parent is great. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My kids are amazing, I actually like them nearly 50% of the time (though, admittedly, they still sleep something like 40% of the day), and most of what I described was slightly exaggerated. But my oldest did barf in my mouth, once. Milk barf. Like a lot. And my youngest ate poisonous berries and fell down a flight of stairs and got lost at the zoo. So yeah, I have no hair and I twitch a lot.
You're gonna love it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
hey I can totally relate to the sleeping part.
I have two kinds, they are 3 and 1 yrs old. the hardest part is to have to be awake for almost half a night (if not more) and then to go work the next time, week after week. sometimes I just wish I could sleep for 1 night straight since im sure it will help me be more calm and relaxed during the day.
hopefully when they grow up more, they will be able to sleep better.
I want to share something I found online that helped me alot to put them to sleep, u can check it here:

weepi100.wixsite.com/mysite
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
My boyfriend left me when I was 7 months pregnant. It just shattered my life. When my son arrived, I was extremely happy, and thinking about him is making me move forward in my life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
My colleague gave birth a couple of years ago, and she said that nothing changed. After I gave birth, my life has completely changed. Starting from a daily routine and mentality. I focus only on my baby and my family, rather than career
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
Being a mom is life changing , all your priorities and lifestyle is changed after childbirth. You feel so many emotions along with postpartum changes in your body which can be a lot for some moms , but hey its part of the process. Make sure to take care of yourself in the process and us enatural beauty products for taking care of your skin too. i have been using the moms co skincare products and they are amazing for every new mom.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Being a mom is not that easy but it's worth it. Sleepless nights, cries, diapers... To be honest, it's kind of a miracle. We are planning to try for a second baby but I was inserted Implant Birth Control last year. That's why we will try to conceive next year.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Having a baby completely changed my life, but I love being a mommy!
I got pretty poor sleep for the first 4 or 5 months with each of my 3 children.
Going on vacations or day trips was the most challenging. My babies wouldn't nurse as well because of all the distractions and so my breasts would ache because they were so full!
I was a stay at home mom for quite a while and also homeschooled my kids. This was very rewarding! I felt so connected and close to them!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
My wife is about to give birth and I'm so excited, I love her and I'm so happy I have a great family...I know, our first year with the baby will be difficult and funny but it's OK and I'm sure we will handle it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
Being a parent is an exciting time of life! There are many adventures ahead! Enjoy them because they go by so quickly!
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top