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I need some advise.<br><br>
Background...My DS is now 8 months (he was 6-weeks early). My DH has a job in DC which starts June 2 and we are moving in early May. I am/was trying to write my thesis for an MS/PhD in Chemistry.<br><br>
My DH is current working 2-jobs (postdoc and tutoring) so he is gone from 7am to 6am Mon, Thur and Fri and gone from 7am to 8pm on Tues and Wed. I am home with the baby after the first 3 things were fine.<br><br>
Well in Dec, I wanted to take a leave of absence from graduate school but my adviser did not allow me to. Instead she suggested I write an MS instead. At first I was ok with the idea until she gave me only 1-semester (a whopping 4 months) to write a 5-6 chapter thesis 180+ pages and in addition revisions to a paper she already has, another paper and communication. My adviser has had my paper for 8-months now and still has not read it and tells me it is not in the queue (along with thesis outline) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/rant.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rant">:<br><br>
Anyhow, when I started to write my thesis, my son has had some problems that he hasn't had before. He wants to be held all the time and this includes nap time. He is cranky after his first nap and does not smile at his mommy. At least once a day, he has a crying breakdown (cries for 30 or more minutes) In the evening, he refuses to go to bed and cries like he is hurt. My DH and I have to either take a very long walk or car drive to get him to go to sleep. We have not had to this for a very long time.<br><br>
My DH suggest I take a break from writing my thesis. So for the past 4-days I have not worked on it. My son is back to his happy self. No problems with excess crankiness or crying breakdowns. He plays in the evening and goes to bed with no fussiness. My DH says the home feels calmer and happier.<br><br>
Is my stress affected my son? Any suggestions?<br><br>
We can not afford a babysitter. My adviser is a 52 year old woman - never been married and no children. She gave up everything for the name of science so she will not understand nor would she give me an extension (if she did it would only be until mid-Aug).<br><br>
My thought is to leave with an MA (which means I will not be able to get an MS) and take at least 6-months off. After 6-months, possibly try to write my PhD but there is a problem. I still have to complete 1-more chapter worth of data to make some sort of conclusion for my thesis. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: I will be in DC not AZ. I don't even know if I will ever be in the queue! Another words, I will give up 6 years of hard work for an MA. Any advise would be great?
 

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That's a really tough position you're in. Lots of people consider giving up at this point... and you are in good company when it comes to feeling like you have to make a choice between what you feel is best for your family and what you feel is best for your career.<br><br>
I think if you're committed to getting the PhD, you'll have to have childcare. Things will get better and your baby's crankiness is temporary... so don't leave because he's needy this month. Next month will be different. But you have to have childcare to write a thesis.<br><br>
Otherwise, I'd imagine that if you'll be a happier person to take your MA and run, then it's the right decision to make. After all, having a baby really can rearrange your priorities!<br><br>
Either way, good luck!
 

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Crankiness comes with adjusting to a new norm. It happens to all of us.<br><br>
That being said, what you describe as your MS is not an MS. A MS thesis is commonly defined as one publishable paper, or a thesis describing the equivalent of one publishable paper. A 5-chapter, 180 pg thesis, a paper, and a communication is a PhD. Maybe you need a discussion with your whole committee.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Geofizz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10768953"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Crankiness comes with adjusting to a new norm. It happens to all of us.<br><br>
That being said, what you describe as your MS is not an MS. A MS thesis is commonly defined as one publishable paper, or a thesis describing the equivalent of one publishable paper. A 5-chapter, 180 pg thesis, a paper, and a communication is a PhD. Maybe you need a discussion with your whole committee.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I would add -- you may need a new advisor. What you are describing is NOT an MS. It's not a reasonable working relationship. Have you tried setting up regular meetings? If she won't do that, then she's not upholding her end of the bargain. Go to the department chair and see what your options are. They don't want you leaving without a degree, and they should work with you to get you at least an MS.
 

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Lynn, In all the academic departments I've been in, a meeting of the thesis committee is the first part of that process. Often times, the committee members can help put everyone on the same page. After that, the chair of graduate studies is the person to consult. Also, Clarissa, check the guidelines for each degree process for your own department. I suspect there will be a statement about regular committee meetings (yearly or twice yearly). This is generally ignored, but is in the regulations to give you something to point to in convening the meeting.
 
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