[Casimir's_Mama]

Perhaps someday I will make it out of the sleep forum, but today I'm hogging the thread-starter cap. Anyway--
I live in virtual fear (thanks in part to some alarmist sleep books) of my son (almost six months) missing a nap, becoming overtired, sleep deprived over the long term, and consequently having horrendous life problems because I didn't get the naps down.
I think he does sleep a fair amount, but he's not the best napper and it is so.hard. to get him to sleep, even when I know he's tired! I look for the sleep cues and all that, so I don't think I'm always putting him down when he's overtired.
Is it just me?? It takes quite a bit of rocking to get my little guy to sleep. I'm not even trying to get him to fall asleep on his own, I don't really care about that yet (i know i know...) but even just holding him often resolves in him wriggling away and fighting sleep. I never hear much about this. Before I had him I thought I'd just set him down gently in his crib and he'd drift away on his own. Which I find hilarious now.
Is it a process, beyond the nighttime routine, to get your little baby to fall asleep?? Does anyone else find themselves rocking to quiet music one too many hours a day with their back straining under the weight of a twenty pound pumpkin in a sling?

 

[Piglet68]

Well, I don't know any six year olds who have to be rocked or nursed to sleep, so that's all the proof I need that babies eventually do learn to fall asleep on their own, when it is developmentally appropriate. I say that to let you know that you are not going to "ruin" your son.

My DD always required some intervention to fall asleep, and still does at 15 months, but I've never considered this a problem and since she does go to sleep and sleeps a long time at night, I figure we actually have it very good!

I can tell you that, as a newborn, there were times when I had to rock her through a whole CD album before she fell asleep. Gradually it got less and less until one or two songs was enough. Now I rarely ever turn the music on. She does nurse to sleep, and just lately I've actually been taking her into bed while she is still awake (but tired), lying down with her and nursing her to sleep (which AFAIC is a huge milestone and a real treat!). She falls alseep easily in a car seat or stroller, and DH is good at rocking her to sleep still (he doesn't have the advantages of breasts!).

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that your son sounds totally normal. And rest assured, at some point this will get easier (and if you are like me, you probably won't even notice until one day you realize you haven't had to do X, Y, or Z to get him to sleep!).

I will suggest that you do try different things from time to time. What didn't work at 3 months may work well at 8 months, kwim? Be creative. If rocking him isn't working, try something else. I know it is hard, mama, but hang in there!!

 

[Tuesday]

Quote:

Originally posted by Casimir's_Mama Before I had him I thought I'd just set him down gently in his crib and he'd drift away on his own. Which I find hilarious now.

Casimir's Mama - I'm in the same boat as you so I am eagerly awaiting replies. But I just had to say your comment above made me laugh out loud! I have a 5 month old and I thought the same thing! I just assumed that when "bedtime" came, I would put my baby in his crib and he would close his eyes and sleep. Ha ha ha. I'm just glad our crib was a hand-me-down!

Okay, back to the subject at hand! And, my guy is 20 pounds too, awake now because I am just plain tired of trying to get him to sleep right now.

 

[Casimir's_Mama]

whooops, double post. and pretend I spelled "viscious" correctly in that next post.

 

[Casimir's_Mama]

Yes, I just thank the heavens that my husband is into rocking him to sleep and is quite patient with it. I should definitely try different things, but sometimes we get pretty varied. I can sling/rock him to sleep to Vivaldi's greatest hits, Vivaldi's Four Seasons, or even Mozart, at times. So, see? Varied.

Sometimes I give up for a while and figure that he probably just isn't as tired as I thought, but then I become concerned that he'll become overtired and have an even harder time drifting off to la la land--that whole vicous cycle thing.

 

[Tuesday]

I dunno - maybe sometimes I worry too much. I always try to make sure he is asleep by 8 p.m. so I get enough sleep (since I never know how much he will wake up in the night to nurse).

Tonight, I was just so sick of it. After this post, I called my mom and DS was fussing on my lap. Suddenly, as I was talking, I looked down and realized my son had fallen asleep against me! He never does this! I carried him upstairs and laid him down on our bed and now he is asleep, for a bit I hope. Miracles do happen!

 

[andreac]

ITA w/Piglet! In his short 6 mos on this planet, DS has gone through so may changes in the way he goes to sleep! When he was a newborn, he liked to sleep (mostly for naps) on us, then at about 2 or 3 mos he wouldn't fall asleep that way...I thought he just didn't want to go to sleep then I finally figured out that he didn't want to sleep on us anymore. For a while, just nursing him to sleep in our bed worked...then at about 4 mos when he learned to roll over onto his back (he always napped on his stomach, just flat out refused to sleep on his back!!) he would roll over onto his back and get mad that he couldn't get back on his tummy, so I would have to lie there with him and keep rolling him onto his belly...sometimes I would just keep my hand on his tush to keep him on his belly and he would fall asleep that way. Then, when he learned to roll over the other way (about a month ago) he would get ANGRY if you tried to keep him on his belly, and I finally figured out to just let him roll back & forth (about 50 time LOL) and he would eventually get tired and settle onto his tummy and fall asleep.

Anyway...just a really long winded way to second the notion to keep trying different things! Gosh, it just blows my mind how quickly they change...just when you think you've got it figured out, you've got to start over!!

 

[Harper]

I also live in fear about how much sleep my eight month old dd gets (or doesn't get). I worry about her being overtired. I worry about her not being the happy baby she could be if she was getting enough sleep. I worry that she will be up all night if she doesn't get enough daytime sleep. I worry about her not getting enough daytime sleep if she is up all night!! It's amazing but my worrying doesn't seem to help her sleep at all!

I have tried following her cues and a nap schedule. Following her cues works sometimes a nap schedule (or any kind of schedule) doesn't work at all. I tried scheudling the same activities before her nap everyday so that she would know that it was time to sleep but that didn't work. Now we just look for the cues and then rock or nurse her to sleep. But sometimes, you know that she is tired, she falls asleep quickly and then wakes ten minutes later and will not go back to sleep!

When she is going through really bad nap and nightimes sleep patterns, I live by the words: this too shall pass. Right now I am concentrating most on not worrying. She is a happy, healthy baby and we make it as easy as possible for her to sleep when she has to. She has a comfortable, warm, quiet, peaceful place to sleep and whatever she needs or wants to fall asleep. I don't think I can do more....

 

[perditafoster]

As soon as we get something worked out with falling asleep, bam! Teething! Or learning to stand! Or some sort of major milestone that just turns out world crazy. So I've decided to just be grateful every day that I'm a SAHM and have realistic expectations about Bridget's sleep. She is only 7 months old, after all....I still sometimes have trouble falling asleep (although not lately since I'm soooo tired!)

 

[Island Mommy]

DD's never been one to fall asleep easily or just doze off...except in her carseat and sometimes in her buggy. Usually though, going to sleep involves crying. I have no idea why. I try nursing first, always, then rocking, bouncing, letting her get back up, laying down, walking. She always cries. It's quite distressing and I often dread bedtime.

 

[sparkeze]

I have never been surprised to find my 18 mo DS asleep. Falling asleep has always been a big process for him. Until he was about 3 mo, he always had to sleep in my arms or on top of me, and he rarely fell asleep nursing so I had to walk him or bounce him to sleep until he was about 14 mo. It was getting very physically demanding for me to walk him to sleep by the time he was a year old and I had been intermittently practicing getting him to sleep by nursing him in bed, but usually he would nurse on and off for over an hour and finally start crying, so after nursing him in bed for an hour I would have to get out my sling and walk around.

:

But when he was about 14 mo, he started getting better with nursing to sleep in bed and then when I got out the sling to walk him to sleep he would get upset and try to get out of the sling so from then on I stopped walking him around. Yes, sometimes it takes him an hour and a half to fall asleep, and it doesn't seem worth it if I spend that long trying to get him to fall asleep, then he only takes a 30 minute nap

but sometimes he falls asleep in 10 minutes

. And lately he'll nurse a few times when we lie down, but eventually fall asleep by himself (not while nursing!) Of course he still needs to be nursed back to sleep when he wakes during naps and at night, but hey - I'll take what I can get! It's nice not to have aching shoulders, back, arms, legs, etc from running around with him.

I know some babies have a harder time falling asleep if they're overtired, but my DS falls asleep fastest when he's overtired. So we get him to run around outside (or inside if it's cold) and dance around, whatever, in the early evening. When he starts showing signs that he's tired, we start getting ready for bed and read books for awhile. When he's really tired he happily climbs into bed and giggles with delight when I lay down and lift up my shirt

.

So have hope that you won't have to rock your baby forever! (I won't say that things necessarily get easy!) We walked (sometimes ran!) to the same loud pop song for every nap and bedtime for a year. Yes, we didn't use nice quiet music - DS liked to be wildly bounced around to loud music

. A couple things that you could try that worked for us: always use the same song on repeat. It gets annoying to listen to the same song for over an hour but for us, any variation made it too interesting for DS. Also, I walked back and forth - like walk forward, then walk backwards. Limited scenery seemed to help. I always wondered, could looking at the same old thing day after day be that interesting? Apparently when you look at the same things at bedtime they get more interesting

: .

Sory this got so long! I always felt that DS was a poster child for sleep issues, and now things have gotten better (it helped that I've changed my perspective that DS can't fall asleep alone!) But in the meantime, think of all the exercise you're getting!

 

[Casimir's_Mama]

Thanks for all the replies. It's soo helpful to hear other parents say that they have the same issues. A whole cd is a long time!
Although I must say, I sure was hoping that this would all go away in the upcoming months. heh. I guess one year-olds can have this problem, too.
Harper, I could have written your post! When he doesn't fall asleep easily, then I always worry it's because he's already overtired. I think it's just the way he is. But then he sometimes does get overtired as I'm rocking him forever.

:
I don't know. Between this and short naps I'll probably always worry that he doesn't sleep enough to some degree.