how has being a mother changed your life?

Great question. Since ds turned one a few weeks ago, I've been thinking about this very topic. I could go on with this one, but I'll limit myself to two points.

First, I never knew I could love someone like I love ds. In my life, I've been blessed with a wonderful family, a marvelous husband and great friends, but this ds love is something beyond my wildest imagination. Something so deep and instinctual and complete. I feel blessed beyond the stars.

Second, my compassion for the world has increased a 100 fold, particularly for children. I've always loved being around kids, but now I find such a pure joy in seeing any kids laughing and playing and enjoying life. It's truly what we all deserve!! But, in some ways, this compassion has also been difficult for me. I have a near-physical reaction when I hear about children with a less than ideal life. In my job previous to my current job (pre-ds), I was the director of a domestic violence and sexual assault shelter. Unfortunately, we worked with abused children all too often. And then, I could do the work. But now, I don't think I could do it. Now, I can't even watch the evening news, or movies with violence (especially violence against children). It's like, I will protect my ds, and I also feel a responsibility to all the children around me. But, at the same time, I'm afraid of seeing the pain that some children have to face, so I end up just shutting it all out. Does this make sense?? (This is something I really need to get my hands around!! Inaction is so different from what I'm used to doing. I feel a little vulnerable admitting all of this, but my guess is that I'm not alone in these feelings . . . )

I look forward to hearing what others have to say!!

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i totally feel that way too (news, movies...life.) i worked in a lab that did research on children's testimonies of sexual abuse and i could NEVER do that today...it's even hard to think about.
i cry when i read books dealing with children's suffering (i.e. 'amazing grace' by jonathan kozol)...something i would never have done before being a mother.
i even have a hard time being friends with non-ap parents because i feel it's sort of cruel how they treat their children.

I didn't anticipate the compassion thing. I usually listen to the radio rather than watching TV news. I will NEVER forget the shot I happened to see after the Tsunami of a row of babies/kids who drowned. Just writing that makes me tear up.

My faith has changed. I'm a Christian (or at least I think I still am- that's in progress), and before I had my ds, I did some reading on feminine images of God in the Bible. But it really didn't make an impact on my day-to-day understanding. Now, I GET it that the word compassion in Hebrew was related to the word womb, and that the name El Shaddai came from the word breast/mountain. I understand better what it means that God is a creator/protector/nurturer.

I'm not sure how much of this is the kiddo and how much of it is the therapy I do, but I'm much better at seeing my limits and not trying to take on too much. I now see how that keeps me from nurturing myself, because I can also see how it keeps me from nurturing my sweet babe. And my life and his (and my relationship with dh) are just way too important for me to squander that time in being crazy-busy.

Thanks for starting this thread

What a great thread!

I never knew how much my mother loved me until my daughter was born. That blew me away, that was followed by immediate guilt for all the ways I hurt her. I was also better able to understand God's love for me, unconditional, deep and never ending. I am a Christian and to think of Him giving His son to the most undeserving...I wouldn't share my kids with anyone, again amazing.

I also feel like I am everyone's mother. I have corrected strange children, not in an out of place kind of way, more in the way I'd want people to do if my kids were knocking things down, running away or being mean when I wasn't looking.

I have felt more connected to myself, my intuition, and all women everywhere, really ever since pregnancy. I've learnd to trust myself and my dcs. I had no idea how amazing my body was or how much I just "knew" a mother's intuition is mind boggling.

My heart is bigger, I am more tollerant and patient (most of the time) and want to be a better person so I can model what I want my children to be.

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I could have written most of this response...you said a lot that was dead on. Especially about not knowing how much my mother loved me until I had my own child. And then that overwhelming guilt. I still think about it at times, and I will call my mom up and just cry to her apologizing and bring her flowers or something. I put my mom through hell and I feel guilty and sick when I think of all the times I told her I hated her, and that she was the worst person ever.

I also now realize how marvelous our sex is. We are capable of incredible, magnificent things. It is natural and whole and grand to be a mother, and I now am also realizing how difficult it is to *unfortunately* have to reclaim our motherhood from mainstream society, and the slack we sometimes get for not following the mainstream way of raising children. If that makes any sense at all.

You mamas are all wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!