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Quite simply, I'm doing everything different! =) #1 was a planned natural hospital birth that ended in a c/sec. I've since read and joined a birth support group for moms with traumatic births, and read some more. I wrote out a huge journal of what I remember from being pregnant, labor, the surgery, and post partum that ended up being 10 pages long. All of these things have been very healing.<br><br>
This one is a planned homebirth attended by midwives. I'm afraid that some unresolved fear and/or anger from DS's birth will hinder me this round, so I'm reading more. Having a midwife to talk things over with makes me feel so much safer. I guess that's the huge difference; the first time, I was walking into "enemy teritory" and I knew it and did it anyway. This time I feel safe. Even if something happens and I need another c/sec, I won't have the "what if?" and "I wish I had..." like I did before. Those are just poison.
This one is a planned homebirth attended by midwives. I'm afraid that some unresolved fear and/or anger from DS's birth will hinder me this round, so I'm reading more. Having a midwife to talk things over with makes me feel so much safer. I guess that's the huge difference; the first time, I was walking into "enemy teritory" and I knew it and did it anyway. This time I feel safe. Even if something happens and I need another c/sec, I won't have the "what if?" and "I wish I had..." like I did before. Those are just poison.