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How helpful is your partner with parenting?

  • S/He supercedes my efforts

    Votes: 6 5.3%
  • We have a true partnership

    Votes: 63 55.8%
  • S/He does what s/he HAS to do...(usually w/prompting)

    Votes: 36 31.9%
  • Bare minimal participant...parents from a distance

    Votes: 7 6.2%
  • Showed up for the conception

    Votes: 1 0.9%
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Discussion Starter #1
After reading different posts, I'm just curious how hands-on your partner is...
 

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My dh is great...he even likes to change dipes and will do dipe laundry<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:
 

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He's helpful if I tell him what needs to be done
 

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My husband had never changed a diaper - never even HELD a baby younger than a year before our son. He now changes diapers, bathes, dresses, sings to, wears, plays with, reads to, and takes care of our son like he's an old pro! It's great. I knew he'd eventually be ok, but I'm so impressed and shocked with how fast it became natural to him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
~heather
 

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My husband is awesome with our little guy. He's a total AP "natural". He does the majority of the babywearing (always does it when we're out), changes every other diaper when he's home, and dreads the day our little guy wants his own bed <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">.<br><br>
He had never even held a baby before ours was born, so I'm so amazed at his skillful daddy-ing. I always knew he'd be a great father, but I have to admit I've been surprised at how effortlessly he took to the grunt work of parenting.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>paradoxia13</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7911687"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My husband had never changed a diaper - never even HELD a baby younger than a year before our son. He now changes diapers, bathes, dresses, sings to, wears, plays with, reads to, and takes care of our son like he's an old pro! It's great. I knew he'd eventually be ok, but I'm so impressed and shocked with how fast it became natural to him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
~heather</div>
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Not to threadjack, but pardoxia, you and I cross post about the same stuff all the time. Now I think we're married to the same guy. We should hang out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>VernaBloom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7911693"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Not to threadjack, but pardoxia, you and I cross post about the same stuff all the time. Now I think we're married to the same guy. We should hang out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I'd noticed that too!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>paradoxia13</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7911687"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My husband had never changed a diaper - never even HELD a baby younger than a year before our son. He now changes diapers, bathes, dresses, sings to, wears, plays with, reads to, and takes care of our son like he's an old pro! It's great. I knew he'd eventually be ok, but I'm so impressed and shocked with how fast it became natural to him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
~heather</div>
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My DH never held a baby prior to our son either...when I was PG he would say all these things about how he didn't want to be involved in the birth too much and wouldn't cut the cord and that he wasn't changing diapers...well he jumped right in to holding me during my 58 hours of labor and wouldn't even let the nurses near the baby the entire stay...he barely let me hold him for longer than BF took...<br><br>
Now he certainly does things differently than I do, not that it is wrong just different but he is very hands on...changes diapers, does a 3am bottle so I can sleep since I am home w/DS all day, c/s...my son actually sleeps in the crook of his arm, reads to him...however only books with few words <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> but most enjoys just holding him...and if we are out and I'm not wearing him but we are using the stroller...DH has to push...<br><br>
He has also upped his housework and I fear when things will go back to the way they were prior to me being PG...he cleans while I sleep in on Sat mornings...and always brings me a glass of water when I BF w/o being asked...<br><br>
This was all such a surprise to me and I love him for it...
 

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My DH had only held an older infant once, and it wasn't for long, but he slid smoothly into fatherhood. He caught DS, and I think that was really instrumental in forming a bond between them. They can sit and just grin like loons at each other for an hour. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Folding diapers still confuses him a bit, and he's a bit squeemish about rinsing them, but everything else he jumps right into with glee (especially story time - SO. CUTE.).<br><br>
He's also fabulous for ME when we're having one of those "won't let go of the boob" days - coming home from work to make me lunch and dinner and making sure I have giant glasses of water and plenty of easy to grab snacks. This on top of being in a crunch to get the current project out and working 18+ hour days <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: (thankfully that's over soon!).
 

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I am the only one so far that said he supercedes me. Really sometimes it is embarrassing that he can be a better mom than me.<br><br>
Once when he knew we had to take the car in to be serviced and we might be sitting there a while with 2 young boys and a baby, he made up snacks and drinks for them before we left. As I was sitting in the waiting area feeding them out of their gallon sized bags of freshly sliced veggies and fruit, a tech came by and commented how I must be a great mom just like his dw. I admit I took the credit because I just didn't want to have to explain! He does this type of thing all the time caring for them over and beyond. I do all the housework though but I guess it isn't such a bad trade off <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Dh is wonderful! When dd was born, I actually didn't change a single diaper until she was over 2 weeks old. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> He wore her around in a sling her first 4 months (it was such a great way to get her to sleep!), took care of virtually all the cooking and cleaning in the early days, woke with me every night to bring me snacks and drinks. It's a little harder for dh now, b/c dd is definitely in "mama" phase and won't let him take her as much, but he compensates in other ways--does ALL the dishes (always; I do all the the laundry--so we both trade away what we don't like), tidies the apartment every morning before work, whatever he can do to help out.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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We have a true partnership.... but we're old. LOL!
 

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well...<br>
i don't know how to vote here<br>
nak too<br>
my husband travels alot for work which mean when he's home he does try very hard but usually waits for prompting from me because "he's not sure what i need"<br>
but when he's working in town he works 12 hour days in the busy season and in exosted (physically) when he gets home I try to find him things he can do sitting down play a game with ds, hold dd, peel potatoes, lol
 

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We have a true partnership. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 

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No problem with diapers, dishes, cleaning, cooking....<br><br>
Both my kids are very close to both of us. Dh can put either child down at bedtime ad my little one does better with her daddy for naps and sleeping.<br><br>
We do have different ways of doing things which can be difficult sometimes, but we work it out!
 

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My husband had never been around a baby before ours. At my baby shower, he DID hold my best friend's son in the Bjorn for a while when we went to the zoo. That was his intro to babies...<br><br>
He's great. From day 1, he's held her, diapered (OMG, the memories of that first dirty diaper change in the hospital. Ha! He got the first dirty one, and it was, um, interesting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">), feeds her, changes her, plays with her, slings her (although that's getting harder for him now that she's getting heavier - he's got five busted discs), etc.<br><br>
He works from 8-8 each day (military...whoo-hoo!), but spends any off time that she's awake with her. He's the one who gets up in the middle of the night with her, and early in the morning. He almost always is the one to give her breakfast. If he gets home early enough, he takes the bath with her, puts her to bed, etc. On the weekends (he gets home at 3ish on Saturdays, off on Sundays), he takes her for a good 2-3 hour chunk so I can do my cooking/cleaning for the week, and then we kind of pass her off or watch her together the rest of the time. He's actually REALLY good with her.<br><br>
We have slightly different philosphies on stuff (I never let her watch tv, always feed her healthy, organic (if possible), natural foods, etc, while he couldn't care less about that stuff), but, in the end, we've agreed that if he's watching her, he makes the decisions, and vice versa. So, my daughter's watched a bit more of the military channel than I'd like ("Hey, Kath, I think she likes the airplanes!"), but, I roll with it.<br><br>
He has a co-worker who has a 2-year old, and we were over their house, and the husband asked the wife for help with the diaper change. Apparently, he still hasn't "learned" how to change a diaper on his own. Huh??? And now that his wife just had another baby two months ago, he avoids going home until after dark, and goes fishing on the weekends so he doesn't have to help out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: That would SO not fly around here.
 

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total partnership here, too (although that is what is stopping us from cd - i cd, he prefersers sposies) - he does changes, is better than i am at burping, feeds the occasional bottle of ebm to givve me a break, wears asling, plays with baby to lket me sleep in, etc. i'm sure i'm forgetting some of the things he does... i forget everything these days...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lanielayne</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7912148"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am the only one so far that said he supercedes me. Really sometimes it is embarrassing that he can be a better mom than me.</div>
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DH is fantastic.
 

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I'm so thankful for my DH and our marriage every single day! He is a great father and we split the "work" 50/50... maybe even more for him some days. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I Love that man!
 
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