[LoveMyLittleMan]

to have a job when fighting for custody?
I am not working, but am going to school just under full-time. My ex has a good job and I'm worried about how him working and me not working will factor in...
He claims that I am unstable and unable to hold down a job. However, I was a college student when we met, stopped going to school and became a stay-at-home mom when my son was born (which we agreed upon, although he now claims I "wouldn't get a job") and started back at school when we split.
I'm just worried about the "ability to provide for..." part of the Best Interest factors involved in custody decisions in my state...

Thanks in advance!

 

[NolaRiordan]

I don't know really. When we divorced my X was working very part time. My lawyer told me that would not be in his favor because the judge wants to know that you will be able to support your kids. In mediation he went on about how he couldn't get a full time job because it would be so stressful for him. And the mediator said a judge wouldn't expect him to necessarily work full time, but would expect him to do something to bring some money in to be able to support his kids. I think a lot depends on the judge.

 

[ProtoLawyer]

It's a balancing act. Many, many SAHPs end up with custody, even when their fully-employed spouses fight it. Why?

Many states want to keep the children with their primary caregiver, so their "ability to provide" doesn't necessarily carry all the weight (plus, you provide other things for your child, like emotional stability and nurturing). Also, as long as you're not a career student with no direction, going back to school is generally seen as a good thing, too, because it can improve your employability in the future (even if you're getting a degree in English--a B.A. in general improves your prospects).

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

Agree with ProtoLawyer - and don't forget he will be providing child support. Custody doesn't mean full financial responsibility - both parents are still responsible for the child's well being.

 

[dziwozony]

being in school show that you have a direction in mind & plan to end up at a higher income level once you finish. also, at least here in new zealand, one factor is which parent has more time & energy to spend with the children. if your partner works 40+ hours, that's less time he can give to the children.

oh, & the whole "refuse to get a job" thing is so annoying! my X is pulling that, when actually i was having babies & raising them! he acts like it was all a ploy to get out of working. ha!

 

[Theia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dziwozony being in school show that you have a direction in mind & plan to end up at a higher income level once you finish. also, at least here in new zealand, one factor is which parent has more time & energy to spend with the children. if your partner works 40+ hours, that's less time he can give to the children. oh, & the whole "refuse to get a job" thing is so annoying! my X is pulling that, when actually i was having babies & raising them! he acts like it was all a ploy to get out of working. ha!

Ha! You are so smart! Cuz raising children and doing everything that it takes to be a responsible mother is not the same as a paying job.

Seriously, we should at least be given a couple hundred an hour, like attorneys are paid those amounts. We are way more valuable than the monetary paybacks we receive. Heck! I had it easy when I was only working 50-60 hours a week and getting a big paycheck! I love being a 24hour Mom and wouldn't give it up for nothing, but, easier than compared to a WOH job?