[Girl In The Fire]

My DD is 3 1/2 and has never been to pre school. My mom and sister are both teachers and for the past year have really been harping on me to put DD in pre-school. My mom has been the worst about it, she goes on and on about how kindergarten teachers HATE kids that have not been in pre-school. My mom also says DD needs the social interaction since we don't really have kids nearby that are her age. We go to the park and the Y regularly and she plays well with kids of all ages when we are there. The only issue I see with DD is she can be a bit bossy at times, but she is an only child.

My main reason for not putting her in Preschool is the expense. Another reason is the fact we only have one car, trying to juggle DH's work schedule, my work schedule, and pre-school would be a major PIA.There is a free Preschool nearby but it is a crummier neighborhood and I am not totally comfortable sending her there.

Besides the fact my daughter likes to "instruct" other kids what to do she is a happy outgoing kiddo, she can count,knows her shapes and colors, she can use scissors, sing songs, is very good at drawing, and loves doing craft type things. She has a large vocabulary and never stops talking from the time she gets up till the time she falls asleep. :LOL

Is there anything that pre school teaches them that they cannot be taught at home? I always thought of pre school as glorified play time am I wrong in my assumptions, is it really that important?

 

[Linda on the move]

My kids are 7 and 8 and never went to preschool. They are super kids and I'm sure that if they had gone to K (we homeschool) the teacher would had adored them. They were sweet, well behaved 5 year olds with good attention spans and imaginations.

For some kids, preschool is a lot of fun. They meet new people and do interesting things. I don't have anything against preschool, but I don't think any child *needs* preschool.

As far as the socail stuff, they even prove that school aged chilren who attend school are better socialized than school aged children who homeschool, so I think the notion that 3 years *need* school socialization is pretty silly. My kids learned to line up, form a circle with other kids, etc. from taking occassional classes through parks and rec. These really aren't hard things that kids need to work on for 3 days a week for 2 years.

 

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

We just decided not to send ds2 to preschool. He already knows all the academic stuff, so social stuff is the other concern. Pre-school is so expensive around here as well, so I figure the money we save monthly on not sending him, we can use to maybe sign him up for a music class or just take him to all the free stuff the library offers. He is the middle of 3 boys and knows how to share and interact at the playground and other places we go with other children, so I guess it isn't really that big a deal. He will also attend a summer rec program the next 2 summers before kindergarten and that will be a great time to socialize! My older sister is a teacher and actually encouraged us not to spend the money on preschool. She feels there are so many other ways to meet the social needs that cost alot less, and really believes that kids that age should not in any way shape of form be put in an "academic setting". She feels that kids that age learn much better in a fun and loving environment and preschools these days are entirely to acedemic for the developmental stage these kids are at!

 

[KarenEMT]

My son is almost 3-1/2 and I am getting the same kind of third degree from everyone around me (except my mom - who coincidentally is an elementary teacher). I personally do not see a "need" for preschool. My son plays with other kids at the park, velodrome, and church, and he has been learning all kinds of words, colors, shapes, etc., just by our everyday interactions in the world.

My mom has done kindergarten teaching and, in her case, she said that perhaps in the beginning of the year you could tell who had been in preschool, but by the end it had very much equaled out, both academically and socially.

We will not be doing preschool - it is not free around here at all and I just don't feel it's necessary for my DS.

 

[onlyzombiecat]

I don't think pre-school does much for kids at all. My dd didn't go. My nephews and nieces did go to pre-school. I don't think they are any better behaved or learned more than my dd for the experience.

OT- Bossiness is not a trait that is confined to only children in that age group (or any age group). That is a negative stereotype that people commonly apply to only children when it is really a trait that exists regardless of number of siblings. I think it is helpful to avoid these negative stereotypes.

 

[Sasha_girl]

We homeschool, so you might take us with a grain of salt. :LOL We constantly get comments about how friendly our kids are and how well they play with others. I've noticed that when dd is in group situations (during museum demonstrations or library story time, for examples) she behaves just like the other children (although I did have to teach her to raise her hand after she kept shouting out the answers once--that was my bad).

I think that preschool is overrated and expensive. They are so fun at 3.5-4 years old, why send them somewhere else to have that fun? I'd rather keep them with me so I can enjoy them at this great age.

 

[ChasingPeace]

I can only share my experience. I recall my first day of kindergarten, wishing that I had been sent to preschool. I felt completely socially inept. The kids who had been to preschool (they were all discussing it, and many knew each other from preschool) were confident and knew what to do. I was very advanced academically (I could read at 3), and I had played with cousins, siblings, and neighborhood kids, but it's not the same. And I think the fact that I can still remember this traumatic first day of school 30 years later says a lot. I'm sending ds to preschool.

 

[stafl]

I also homeschool, and do not believe in preschool (or public school for that matter). You might get more answers along the lines of your mom's and sister's reasoning if you post your questions in the learning at school forum instead. I absolutely do not believe that school helps to socialize children. If you are worried about your kids getting along with other kids, start a playgroup or join a homeschool group. Even if you aren't planning to homeschool, you'd be amazed at how well behaved and socialized the kids are, and how much benefit there is to be had from kids of all ages playing together rather than isolating them into groups of children all the same age.

 

[dvnmama]

Ahh, the preschool pressure.
My ds went to a Montessori preschool. I was working FT and didn't have much of a choice as to whether he went or not. DH was in grad school working 60 hour weeks. It was awesome for him. He attend Montessori school now, and is in a combined K/1 class.

That said, no disrespect intended to those who are telling you otherwise, I think that it's a load of hooeey that kids NEED preschool. Before we were all caught in the working mama maze, Kindergarten was where you went to "get ready for school". Now they're rigged it so that you have to "get ready for kindergarten". Are we going to be schooling them in utero next?
I taught first grade, and honestly could not have told you which of the kids in my classes had gone to pre-school and which did not.

Don't worry about it. Do what you feel is best for your child/children and stop second guessing yourself do to other people's opinions.

Sue

 

[rowantree]

I think the only down point is for the teachers, ifthey have a class full of kids already trained to 'school' its of course easier for them. Kids are quick, they catch on fast enough. I would skip Kindergarten too unless you find a really great one, maybe half day. DD #1 went to K with out any preschool and HATED it, it wasnt what she expected at all, so we pullede her out and homeschooled for the year, then she wanted to try 1st grade and LOVED it, she does great and has lots of friends, the teacher loves her helpfulness and great attitude. Now my youngest wants to go to K, Ive found a really great half day, montesorri school......
but if it were up to me Id keep her home until 1st (or till graduation!)

 

[Alkenny]

My oldest went to a year of preschool...my DS was homeschooled for a year of preschool.

Any difference? DS was not as cooperative with the kindergarten teacher and she tried to label him and suggested we hold him back. BUT, he had a speech impediment and turns out I wasn't the only one that ever had a "problem" with that teacher.

By first grade, DS was fine and dandy, he just didn't like THAT teacher so wouldn't talk or cooperate with her.

He's now going into 4th grade (my oldest is going into 7th) and they're both at the tops of their classes, my homeschooled for preschool 4th grader has reading comprehension of a 10th grader, his 7th grade sister is at 9th grade comprehension (boy did that irk her :LOL )

Basically, I didn't see much difference between the two. I actually did more academnically with DS than DD did in formal preschool.

As for the socialization aspect...my DD who got that preschool socialization is actually a bit of an "oddball" (for lack of a better word...she marches to her own drummer and though I love her just the way she is, that kind of sucks in jr. high) whereas my homeschooled kid is a great athlete, smart, popular, friends at every turn.

 

[OnTheBrink]

Emma started preschool when she was 2 and a half. She went to a neighborhood cooperative preschool 3 mornings a week. I was with her at least 2 days a month. We loved it!

This past year, we switched her to Montessori. She was one of the youngest in the 3-6 class. She went 3 full days. We loved it! Next year she'll go 4 full days. I felt guilty about her staying the full days, but she requested it. Turns out that she napped after lunch if she stayed at school. If she came home, she didn't nap, but was a total grouch. So, she stays.

Emma goes to preschool because:

1. She loves it.
2. We can afford it.
3. It's an awesome school.
4. Quite honestly, I appreciate the break.

 

[TiredX2]

DS will go to one year of preschool starting next September (he will be newly 4).

DD went to half a year. We pulled her out for "social" reasons. I hope DS's experience goes better. DD is planning on attending school next year, if she were not we would not have signed DS up for preschool (I think he'll really miss sissy).

You do not need preschool. Assuming you have carring parents who don't lock you in a cave, chances are good your child will be fine without preschool. For myself, I would prefer to have my child have increased interaction w/other adults before going to "real" school, but that is a personal preference and not one that can only be achieved through preschool.

For the record, we also went with the least academic preschool we could find (and a co-op). DS will go two days, 2.5 hours per day and I or DP will be there at least one day a week.

 

[mom2alicia]

i don't think it is important. i have studied child development (my degrees are in psychology) and while it isn't my area of expertise, i have never seen anything to suggest that preschool is anywhere close to necessary. it can be helpful, benign, or harmful depending on the childs temperament, the circumstances, and the quality of the preschool program. i say trust your instincts.

i may consider preschool if i can find a preschool i like (preferably co op and play based learning, not "academic") because my dd is very outgoing, active, and social and i can't keep up with her! we do tons of parent participation activities, kindermusik, gymboree, parks and rec, parks, library, playgroups....no drop off stuff though. but, i think she is getting bored and i am getting tired. we have different temperaments. she is an extravert, i am an introvert, the activities that energize her, drain me! what a match! we are doing fine actually, all in all, but i think a half day preschool may be fun and enjoyable for her and a break for me.

one of the previous posts did make a good point about making friends. if it is common in your neighborhood for kids to be in daycare and/or preschool. they will show up in kindergarten with "friends" and your child won't know anyone. this is how it works in our neighborhood school. the kindergarten classes have two groups of kids the ones that went to preschool A and the ones that went to preschool B. that can be avoided though by getting to know others in your neighborhood and trying to arrange for her to meet kids who are her age who will be going into the same school at the same time. you can arrange casual park playdates and stuff to help her get to know some of the kids ahead of time. you can prep her for the first day of school by talking about who will be there that she knows, etc.

 

[phathui5]

Social interaction:

Quote:

We go to the park and the Y regularly and she plays well with kids of all ages when we are there.

Check.

Academic stuff:

Quote:

she can count,knows her shapes and colors, she can use scissors, sing songs, is very good at drawing, and loves doing craft type things. She has a large vocabulary

Check.

The only thing she's missing is practicing standing in line. She'll need that for school Other than that, you've got it covered.

 

[bri276]

Former preschool teacher here: it's not important.

Some kids love it. That's great. I'd say 2 or 3 part time days a week in a private preschool for a child who is very eager to go is fine.

But there is nothing a preschool teacher can teach your child that you can't do yourself. ABC's, 123's, colors, shapes. Learning to sit still for a few minutes and listen to directions. Really difficult stuff, lol.

 

[Benji'sMom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by APBTLuv Besides the fact my daughter likes to "instruct" other kids what to do she is a happy outgoing kiddo, she can count,knows her shapes and colors, she can use scissors, sing songs, is very good at drawing, and loves doing craft type things. She has a large vocabulary and never stops talking from the time she gets up till the time she falls asleep. :LOL Is there anything that pre school teaches them that they cannot be taught at home? I always thought of pre school as glorified play time am I wrong in my assumptions, is it really that important?

No it's not important. My mom was a SAHM so I never went to preschool. When I started Kindergarten I could read and color and all that jazz as much as any other kid in the class.

 

[Storm Bride]

No - it's not necessary. My son is 12 and never went to preschool. When he started kindergarten, it took him about three days to get the classroom routine (eg. come in, hang up your jacket, put your snack away, sit in the circle) and then he was fine. The teacher raved about his progress with songs, rhymes, spelling, etc. and always had a good word to say about his social skills and classroom behaviour. That's never changed, and he's finishing grade 6. He was also an only child. There are lots of places where kids can learn to play with other children, and he'd already been taught his colours, shapes, alphabet, counting, etc.

I know I'm just repeating what other posters have said, but I think it bears repeating. Don't worry about what your mom and sister think - if want/need to keep her home one more year, then do so!

 

[stafl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Storm Bride I know I'm just repeating what other posters have said, but I think it bears repeating. Don't worry about what your mom and sister think - if want/need to keep her home one more year, then do so!

or two more years. At least in my state, Kindergarten is not mandatory either.

 

[oceanbaby]

The campaign about how kids who go to preschool fare better than those who don't is based on kids in unstimulating, neglectful environments. In that case, then yes, being in preschool instead would be helpful.

But I don't think it's important at all. I reluctantly sent ds1 for some speech issues, fully expecting to pull him out after a few months. But not only does he absolutely LOVE it, I must admit that I think the teachers are fantastic. I have actually learned a lot of gentle discipline techniques just watching them. It's a small, play based program. The director has been there for 20 years (she is the owner), and the two teachers have been there for 4 and 6 years. It's a 5 day a week program, but ds only goes an average of 3 days a week.

And yes, he's done a lot of things there that we wouldn't have done at home. I'm not the real artsy crafty type. But, I don't think it is necessary at all for academic or social development.