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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm hoping this qualifies as a "nighttime parenting" question...


In our joyous parenting philosophy of "do whatever works until it doesn't work anymore" our DS & DD sleep wherever they want; including, but not limited to, our King, the toddler bed at the end of our bed, and two twin beds pushed together in "their" room. They are only 18mos apart, w/DS being 3 and DD 20mos.

Among the gamet of unsolicited comments we get, our favorites include the phrase "they can't *insert unnapproved topic here* forever". As in: *sleep in your bed*, *breastfeed*, and the latest is *share a room*.

Really, I look at it like we all share a house, and nothing really belongs to any ONE person. However, I am aware that at some point the fact that he is a HE and she is a SHE will be an issue.

sooooooo, How long have any of your DC's of opposite sex shared a room?
 

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I personally think they can share a room as long as you and they are comfortable with it. My younger brother and sister shared a room until my brother was eight or nine and my sister was five. No big deal. IMO. They also slept with my mother until my brother was eleven. Sometimes they slept on the floor and sometimes on the bed. I never even thought anything of them being opposite sex. I guess I think along the lines of, they are brother and sister, why does it matter that one is a girl and one is a boy? Basically, they determined when it was no longer comfortable on their own.
 

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Due to my own personal experiance I would not be comfortable with my dd and ds sharing a room now dd is 5yo and ds is 21mo both are still co sleeping with me and dh tho. There is only one other bedroom in our house so sometime this is gonna become a issue have no idea when since I am not in any hurry for them to leave the family bed.

I will say that there were some major issues between me and my older brother and my younger as well. My older brother is 8yo older and youngest is 2yrs younger than me. I shared a room with my older brother until I was like 2-3yo and with my younger till I was like 7yo. In our situation it was a very bad thing to do.
 

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I shared a room with my younger brother and sister until I was 15, sis was 12 and bro was 9. I left for boarding school then. They continued to share a room for 5 more years, until my sister moved out. We had a bunk and a twin when it was the three of us. Just the bunk after I left. When my brother was a preschooler, he usually just slept next to me if he wasn't co-sleeping with our parents.

We didn't have any real problems with this other than being cramped overall. But we were poor so we didn't have much choice. I don't think there's really a hard and fast rule about this; it totally depends on this kids, IMO. Some kids just need their personal space earlier than others, regardless of the gender of their siblings.
 

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The whole family co-sleeps, but legally dc's of opposite sex are supposed to have their own separate room after 12 months old.
: You can have a 3 bedroom, ie-parents room, girls room and boys room.

It's just stupid.

Co-sleeping is not synonymous with incest. I think that is where the fear comes from.
 

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Well, we are moving next month & in the new house plan 1 bedroom. My kids are 8 & 6 (boys) and 4 & 4MO (girls.) No biggie. We'll change it when they decide they no longer want it this way.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by thedevinemissm

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
but legally dc's of opposite sex are supposed to have their own separate room after 12 months old.
Legally? Where is it illegal???

As far as I know it is not 'illegal', but it is stated in the lease, or if CPS visits, it's in their guidelines.

Use google and type in "child welfare law" and then your state. Like one MDCer stated, "If you don't know your rights, then you have no rights."
 

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In CA this law only applies to foster homes.
 

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oh, and in foster homes opposite sex children under 5 years old can share rooms.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Honestly, I am not trying to be dense here. I tried to google (I'm in Texas BTW) and I couldn't find anything...


I knew that was the case for foster/adopting children, someone even told me that your own kids could share a room, but the "fosters" had to be seperated by sex.

This really intrigues me. I asked the question in the "what do you think works" kinds of way ~ not realizing there might be legal implications....
:
 

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There was a thread about this awhile back but I cannot find it
I just cant seem to type in the right words to hunt it up. Maybe someone with more search experiance would have better luck.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by thedevinemissm
Honestly, I am not trying to be dense here. I tried to google (I'm in Texas BTW) and I couldn't find anything...


I knew that was the case for foster/adopting children, someone even told me that your own kids could share a room, but the "fosters" had to be seperated by sex.

This really intrigues me. I asked the question in the "what do you think works" kinds of way ~ not realizing there might be legal implications....
:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=487616 Try this thread.
 

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To the OP...my whole family shared a room (but had seperate sleep surfaces) till I was 9, then bro and I shared a room till I was 12-13 an he was 9. I loved having my own space once he moved into his own room, but I really enjoyed sharing a room. I think it did a lot to build a strong sib relationship...even now people are amazed at how close we are. So I think as long as you and your children are okay with sharing a room it's fine!
 

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Hi, my dd - 6 and my ds - 2 are currently sharing a bed. I can imagine they will probably share for another couple of years at least.

We are living in a local authority house. Where we live there are housing rules (don't think it is the law) that say that children of the opposite sex over 8 years old are not supposed to share a bed room. So if you have a boy and girl over 8 they'd have to put you in a 3 bedroomed house not a 2 bed.

If your children are happy their sleeping arrangements then that's all that matters. FWIW I know of a co-sleeping family where the son 14 and daughter 17 still sleep in the same bed as their mother. They do have their own separate bedrooms though. Just don't sleep in them!
 

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i shared a bed w/bro until around 5 (he was 7), then shared a room until 8 or 9 (he was 10 or 11). then he went next door but the rooms were connected so we opened the door btwn our rooms until i was about 12 or so. we found it hard to fall asleep without hearing each other breathing...so our beds were technically in separate rooms but literally right next to each other, in the doorway.
: i think i closed the door when i started noticing boys with any great interest at 12yo. soon after that he moved to the third floor.
 
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