[tilly2321]

I got a postcard today from my friend who was on vacation for 6 days away from her one year old. I was so shocked, not in a judgemental way, but in more of a, "doesn't she miss her DD like crazy while she is gone, how does she do that?" kind of way. That said, I have been around so many other mommas who have gone away from their children for several days at a time. One is an AP momma I really respect and said it was really beneficialy for her DS's relationship with his grandparents and helped them to "bond" while she was preserving her marriage. I have only been away from DS for one night. I put him to bed, drove all through the night and then returned the next day after he woke up from his nap. I don't even know if he knew I was gone at night since he didn't wake up that night at all. (lucky me!!). So, DH and I are invited to a wedding in Antigua in OCtober and the bride and groom are subsidizing the rooms for those who attend. The rooms are normally 550, but for two nights they are only 150. We are hoping to be pregnant and DH really wants this trip (we would go for two nights) to be one last hooray (spelling?) before the next baby comes (if we get pregnant like planned). My mother in law who is very AP by the way ( much more so than my mom will ever be) has jumped at the chance to watch DS. SHe even sleeps with him when she comes to visit. I don't want to miss out on a really fun experience, but at the same time, don't know if I can stand to miss DS. What is the longest you all have been away from your toddlers??
Just curious>
Elle

 

[hjohnson]

So far the longest I have been away from DS was for 18 hours. DH and I attend a NASCAR Busch race and Winston Cup race in the same day while my parents and sister stayed with DS. It hasn't been longer than that because my parents refuse to have him overnight. They are not "baby" people and definitely not AP.

 

[chiedza]

I went away for 36 hours to a job interview, and DS (almost 2) stayed with DH. It went pretty well, although DH said at times DS kept asking for me and looking for me around the house.

 

[oceanbaby]

I just spent two nights away from ds, who turned 3 in May. He did fine. Up until he was 2yo, he was still nursing at night, and there is no way that I could have been gone.

I don't know how old your child is, but the fact that he can already sleep all night with grandma and not need you during the night makes it seem like they may do just fine with you being gone overnight.

And even though I was only gone for 2 nights, I did miss ds like crazy. I talked to him on the phone one evening, and then got really depressed about being gone! But that said, if you think your child would be okay with it, I highly recommend getting some time away. And a resort in Antigua? Sounds like heaven to me!

 

[Sylith]

I guess it probably depends heavily on the personality of your toddler, and the dynamics between mama and child. I can't even leave my son (20 months) with DH for more than a couple of hours without him freaking out (DS, I mean, not daddy.) As for me, I feel naked without him... like in those dreams where you forgot to put any pants on. I don't imagine we'll be ready to do an overnight separation for a loooooong time, and I don't feel that that's a problem.

On the other hand, you know your own child and what he needs. If you believe he'd feel safe and happy with his grandmother for a couple of days... well, heck, I envy you your little getaway

Take some pictures of him with you... you can show them to people and brag about him, that ought to help you miss him a bit less.

 

[Bearsmama]

The longest for me has been about 4-5 hours. This is just me. I haven't HAD to be away from him for any extended period. And at this age (he's almost two-and-a-half) I would probably welcome a night away!

 

[Cloverlove]

This winter I had the chance to go to Italy with an old, dear friend. Dd was 2 1/2 and I was very torn on going. It was a great opportunity, but I really didn't want to leave her. I did end up taking the trip (dh talked me into it) and I'm so glad I did. I was gone a week, but really only 5 days (I was with her the morning I left and they picked me up at the airport around 3 pm.)

She did really well. Dh said she was sad the night before they picked me up, but other than that she had a great time. Dh took time off work and just focused on the kids. Ds (6.5) helped too. She did ask about me a lot and I called everyday.

As for me, I missed everyone like crazy and by the end of the trip I was ready to come home...but...I definitely enjoyed myself!

 

[moonshine]

My mom sleeps in the same room as DD (2.5) when we visit, or even when she comes to see us (DD has been sleeping in her own room since she was a bit over 2). Since I know that DD loves being with my mom and I totally trust my mom, I would go, if I had the opportunity to go to Antigua! Not sure how old your DS is. DD has really been coming into her own lately and seems ready to venture further away from her parents (which I take to mean that she is a very secure child and as a compliment to us!), so I would take that as a sign of readiness.

Can you do any test runs for less time away to ease your mind?

 

[Ary99]

About five hours has been the longest. We both start to get antsy at that point.

 

[thistle]

On the day we moved dd was at my niece's for about 8 hrs. That is the longest she has ever been away from both of us. She had a blast and I'd be willing to do it again (leave her, not move) but we really don't have anything interesting to do.

She (26 mo now) is getting better at going to sleep off the boob. Someday we'll do an overnight....

 

[tilly2321]

DS will be 2.5 by October. He probably would have a hard time away from us, but then again always does really well with his grandma (my mIL). I guess I will just have to take a leap of faith one way or another since we have to RSVP and book flights. I just don't know what to do...
Your responses certainly helped though.
Elle

 

[Mamma2Addison]

The longest I've been away has been six hours so far, but I'll be gone from the house for two days when this baby is born {ds will spend as much time with us at the hospital as he can stand, though}. He has a great relationship with my mom so I don't worry about him in that regard; I think I'd just miss him.

 

[magemom]

At the beginning of the month I left all 4 of my kids with DH for 6 days. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but so needed. My grandmother was in teh hospital and seriously ill. I was so torn. My 2.5 year old had not been left at all and my 4.5 year old had not been left other than delivery night of his little brother.
It was so hard leaving, but it really made things better in the long run. DH got to be more hands on since the kids couldn't wait for mommy to... whatever they wanted. He got more hands on with running the house as well.
Now I feel better about my forced dry run, I get to travel for work next week for 4 days. I am actually looking forward to my me time. My dd was 3 before I left her except for delivery of her younger brother and that was the hardest thing on me. It was almost easier though since I was home with her full time. Now I really need to touch my kids daily to recharge after work. Each time the kids had a grand time and although they missed me, they got along fine.

Go. You and your DH need time alone, too. And DS will be with a known entity who loves him and follows your parenting style.

 

[4Marmalade]

My ds is almost 20 months and the longest I've left him was 8 hours. Ds stayed home with dh while I went golfing with the girls! It was a welcome break but after a few hours I find myself wondering if he wants to nurse, misses me, etc... (even though I know he is perfectly fine with dh and has a great time). Maybe if he didn't nurse so much during the day and was nightweaned I would consider a longer stretch of time but right now I don't really have a desire to go away for an extended amount of time.

 

[luckylady]

It sounds like you have an ideal situation to leave him - with someone you totally trust! If that were the case for me, I would go.

Alas I have no one but DH towatch DD so the longest I have left her is 6 hours. I would love for DH and I to get away for a weekend but right now that's not possible.

 

[Free Thinker]

MIne is 14 months, and the longest I've left her is 5 hours. This fall I plan to let my ILs keep her overnight. THey are moving right next door, literally, so I will be right here. I want her to have a bit of practice incase I need her to stay there instead of here w/ Daddy when the baby comes in February.

 

[mackinsiesmom]

I have left my dd for a week exactly. We had promise to go to one of my friends wedding in Canada and the couple decided that they wanted a kids free wedding so we went down to my dad's for a long weekend to celebrate my daughters first birthday and then left during her naptime. I missed her but I also knew that she was in good hands.

Katie

 

[MommaCheesehead]

The longest I've been away from my 1yr old is 6hrs. My 3yr old has spent 2 nights away from me.

I'm going to my sister's HS reunion with her in July. I'll be away from the kids for 2 nights. I'm already feeling anxious about it but I'm also a bit giddy at the same time

 

[bionicsquirrel]

Well I was hospitalized with Chronic Meningitis and seperated from my ds for almost 6 weeks. It was terrible. He had to wean suddenly because I couldn't care for him. My mother came a took him to Phoenix and he spent the time going between Her house and my father's house. When I went to get him back after I recovered, the first night was really hard. I didn't know what to do when he woke up because our routine before was centered around nursing. All he wanted that night was to fall asleep with my step mother and I was heart broken, but he quickly fell back into being attached to me. What a relief.

On one hand I was so appreciative that my family really rallied for me and helped ds and dh, who had to work too much to pay our med. bills. On the other hand, being away from ds was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

I think a two day trip is all I could handle, but I also understand how important it is to reconnect with your spouse. Antigua is beautiful, have fun!

 

[nikirj]

DD started spending nights with my parents when she was 22 months old. They were very close though. By the time she was 3 she spent about one night a week there, I'd drop her off in the evening and pick her up the next afternoon.

DS was born when DD was 22 months old, so it wasn't a drop-the-kids-and-run thing, it was that DD really liked spending the night with "Tutu and Papa".