I do about the same thing bec does, I think. When I am focused on eating for weight loss, I first focus on fruits and vegetables. In my case, these are usually in the form of raw fruits and vegetables, as in plain or salads. I like huge amounts of greens, cucumbers, tomatoes, bell peppers, onion, sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, radishes, green beans. I usually make dressing, using a high-quality olive oil and lemon juice, balsamic or cider vinegar. Fruits satisfy a need for something sweet, without wrecking the day for caloric intake. Summer favorites include melons and berries.
Even though they are vegetables, I still don't eat much in the way of carrots, turnips, potatoes...I try to keep grain servings under control, and I keep them whole grain. I like wasa crispbread, because it's very tasty and crunchy and I can eat a satisfying amount without overdoing the portions. I eat muesli for breakfast, but I pay attention to serving size and load up with fruit along with it.
Dairy is harder for me, because I love it. I drink easily 2 cups of skim milk daily, and I may have yogurt or cheese. Again, I try to limit these.
I don't eat a lot of meat, and when I do, it's usually something like grilled chicken, baked/grilled fish, or roast meat. We don't do much frying.
And because I grew up in a household where junk food was available and abused daily, it's important to me to just simply not have it around most of the time. We're not militant, we enjoy chocolate, chips, and sweets, just try not to have it in plain view and front of mind all the time.
I really find that if I work hard to hit a large number of fruit and veg servings, I won't have "room" in my diet for as much calorie-dense, nutrient-poor food.
And, like bec, I have had to reposition food in my life. It's more than fuel, it's enjoyment, but it's not solace or comfort (when I am succeeding). If I am upset, I am learning to go ahead and be upset and work through that instead of eating and not dealing with whatever reality is bugging me.
I think, if I tried to count calories, I would be bad at it. I would underestimate sizes and calories. I would probably find myself off base by 400-500 a day, and then end up frustrating myself by not losing. It's better for me to be holistic about it.