[ldsapmom]

My son weaned on his 4th birthday, in pretty much a total child-led way. Like many, I would often think, "Oh, I can't wait until he weans!" Granted I was tandem nursing for almost the last two years of our relationship.

Once he weaned, I think he and I experienced grief, and I was totally unprepared for it -- at the time I felt no one talks about the grief! Now in a situation like AmiBeth's where weaning is not even close to child-led (doctor-led?), I can imagine the grief would be that much more strong.

Did you feel grief? Do you feel your nursing relationship ended too soon? Or did you "ride it out" and still feel sad at the loss of the relationship?

Just an informal poll of sorts!

 

[loving-my-babies]

in my case, I had to wean dd because she had galactosemia, so it was doctor-led weaning. We had to and I knew it, but it was SO hard for me. I felt mad at my body for not being able to give her what she needed (pretty much lactose-free milk)
she was a little baby, and now she's 3. It's very different from your case, although I'd love to nurse my baby (now almost 4 months old) until that age..
my dad nursed until he was 6 years old... and he said he always missed his mom because of that... (he remember being at the breast, how cool!)

 

[lisabc311]

I have never weaned a baby before, but my girlfriend's toddler self-weaned at 13 months. It was hard on my girlfriend- not her daughter. Even after my friend accepted that she did everything she could to keep her nursing, she still felt sad about it from time-to-time.

I think it's totally normal and natural to mourn the end of a very significant part of your relationship.

 

[Gidget]

I still suffer from the grief of my 9 yo's weaning at 3 months. It sounds weird to some, but to me it is not too different from greiving a death, something that never goes away. Some days are better than others. I posted this elsewhere, but all the info made me feel damned guilty as a former ff mom, and that is what alot of ff'ers have issue with, but I decided to turn that guilt into something positive, something I could work with to avoid the same thing happening again with my next children.

I suffer from some grief over my 2yo weaning at 15 months when I was pg with ds2. I was lucky that though I did not get her to relatch, I do get to pump milk to give her.

 

[kimberlylibby]

My dd weaned when I got pg..... even though she got only breastmilk the first year of her life (I had pumped milk in the freezer when she weaned), I still was soooo upset. I wanted to nurse so much longer.

I feel like this baby is my 2nd chance.... I know I didn't do anything "wrong" with Libby, but I still feel like it wasn't enough.

 

[lactationlady]

I felt (and still do to some extent) grief when both of my children weaned. They both (what are the odds of that???) weaned early, ds at 10mos, dd at 11mos. With ds, he was never overly fond of nursing, he got bottles when I worked part-time and developed a bottle preference. He went on nursing strike after nursing strike from 6mos to 10 mos and then he quit for good. I was devastated and noone understood why I wouldn't just be happy that he weaned on his own. If I wasn't hearing "just be happy" I was hearing "Babies don't self-wean before 12 months". When I got pg with dd I was happy to get another chance to nurse into toddler-hood. She didn't care for bottles and was a very cuddly baby so I thought surely she would nurse well past 12 months. Unfortunatley, she suffered from recurrent ear infections that would cause her to go on nursing strikes. At 11 mos, she got an ear infection and had her two top teeth coming in. This double-whammy caused a nursing strike that she never recovered from. I spent weeks in skin-to-skin contact and doing many other things to encourage her back to the breast but she would have none of it. It was awful and I think I mourned more with her than with ds because I really thought she would nurse longer. I pumped for ds until he was 12 months and for dd until 16 months and I am proud of that, but I still mourn that toddler nursing relationship that I never got. I'm glad that there are people here who understand that and don't think I'm insane.

 

[CaliMommie]

My grief over having to wean Colby is obviously still very strong. But I also experienced feelings of grief when Brayden weaned at 3 years. It's a different kind of sadness to me. With Brayden it was "When did my nursling suddenly turn into a running, independent child?" While he was still bf he still seemed like my "baby" in a sense, and once he weaned himself he suddenly seemed so much older. Does that make sense?

AmiBeth

 

[acystay]

When I was pg w/ ds, dd weaned around 18/19 mos. I didn't even realize she hadn't nursed until 3 days later and then I felt bad and sad. Then ds was born and in her own way she would ask to nurse. She'd say Dyson nursin'? and I'd say yep. Then I realized she was asking to nurse too. I didn't have her nurse b/c I didn't think I would want to tandem. Now I see a ton of my playgroup mammas nursing their toddlers and tandem and I think Oh, how I'd love to snuggle up and nurse my little Gracie again. She so loved her nursies.

But now we share special tea or some nice nap cuddles. Not the same but still a close second.

 

[Peppamint]

I was sad when my dd weaned at 20mo. It was earlier than I expected, but I think it was because I worked p/t and was 2mo pregnant. It was a relief in a physical way because she was getting her 2y molars and I had that nails on the chalkboard feeling, but I was sad that our nursing relationship was over so soon (although some would consider it quite extended LOL).

With ds, I think we will most likely wait longer to ttc (I still have to talk dh into #3 anyway

) so that my being preggers won't be as big of a factor in weaning.

Oh, my ds is very much a comfort nurser too... so I do think he will nurse longer.