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<p>I'm just about to send out mailed invitations to a holiday open house celebration, with an RSVP deadline of December 1 indicated on the invite.<br>
I'm sending 60 invitations and have offered an email address and telephone number to which people can RSVP.  These are friends and family of various distance, but I'd say everyone is closer than an acquaintance.</p>
<p>How many do you think will RSVP by December 1?<br><br>
Do people generally follow RSVP etiquette in your region?<br><br>
I'm noticed when I invite people via email or online like at evite.com or on facebook, the rate of RSVP is dismal.  I'm hoping that with paper invitations that indicate a firm RSVP deadline that more people will respond.  <br><br>
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<p>It seems that the meaning of RSVP has fallen out of what the average person understands. Really. I can think of a few times when someone showed up after not RSVPing and when I asked why they didn't let me know they were coming, said "Well if you wanted us to tell you ahead of time, you should have put it on the invitation." And, yeah, the invitations all very clearly stated "RSVP by [date]".</p>
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<p>Now I just put it in English "Please let us know if you are coming or not by [date]". They no longer can argue they don't know what I'm asking for.</p>
 

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<p>I find that about 30-40% usually respond via Evite.  A reminder email usually puts that up to 50-60%.</p>
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<p>*grumble*</p>
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<p>I'm currently waiting for 37 people to respond for a party next Saturday.  Don't get me started on the state of rsvp's lately.</p>
 

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<p>If I receive an invite in the mail, if I know for a fact that we cannot go for whatever reason, I contact that person asap. Usually a phone call and end it with, I appreciate you thinking of me/us etc but we will be at ...../</p>
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<p>Otherwise, I rsvp closer to the date or the deadline. But there are exceptions to that. This past summer, I received an evite for a neighbors' get together for a moms night out scheduled about 8 days from the time of the evite received. I had to call this person for an unrelated reason so I called her within a few hours regarding that issue. Then I said, I received the invite and I would be able to attend. She said great. End of story. Or so I thought.</p>
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<p>A few days later I ran into her and her sister at the pool. They asked in a whiney voice if I was coming or not to her party. I replied, I told you already I was coming. She and her sister both said, well than why didnt you respond yes?????? I had since deleted the email since I told her yes. I also knew she could change my answer from not answered to replied. I said, well because I told you I was coming, what more do I have to do? Well no one had replied yes yet on the evite so they were hoping when I replied yes, it would then bring others to come forward. Give me a break!!  </p>
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<p>The last few events that were either for me, or I was involved with the invitation end of, no more than 2 or 3 people RSVP'd, at all-and we're talking as many as 60 invites going out.  Honestly, I have found it's MUCH easier to get people to respond one way or another when you also set it up as an event on facebook, and allow people to reply yes, no or maybe.  I actually have a few friends that only do invitations this way anymore-except when they invite anyone who doesn't use facebook.  </p>
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<p>IMO it kind of stinks, because there's just something a little removed about corresponding through facebook, but I guess it's better than no correspondence at all. </p>
 

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<p>I would not think I would need to RSVP for an open house (which, frankly, is why I love them) so if the RSVP isn't prominent, I'd probably not respond.  Of course, if I saw/spoke to the host/hostess regularly, I'd surely mention whether we were planning to attend at some point.</p>
 

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<p>People generally do RSVP around here, thank goodness, since that's one of my pet peeves. I only had 1 person not RSVP (and also not show) for DS's birthday party, out of about 15 invitations we sent out. </p>
 

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<p>In my experience, a little more than half will reply either way.  The others, I usually try to contact and ask.  Some say they are holding off until they are more sure.  Some decide at that time that they would rather say no and be done with it than keep waiting for their other plans to be confirmed.  At that point, I often say that i'd rather them say "maybe" and come later than say "no" if there was a chance they could come.  So then I keep a list of maybes, and find that about a third of them usually come.</p>
 

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<p>From what I read here on MDC, it doesn't sound like ppl respond much to RSVP's.  But I have not had that problem and it may be because I'm very specific. I state that I need RSVP's by whatever date and sometimes I state a reason. Such as to have the right amount of costumes for the kids at my kids birthday party.</p>
<p>I always suggest to people to be very specific...about everything!</p>
 

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<p>I agree that it's unusual to have an rsvp for an open house.  That is usually an event that is come if you can between this & that for as long as you can or not.  But maybe that's just me. </p>
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<p>I have medium response with rsvp.  When we got married, we had 100 ppl rsvp, only 75 showed.  Man, that pissed me off!  That's like $300 that cost me!  Otherwise, I have good luck with evite especiallyw ith the remiders.  I'm a bad rsvp'er myself, so I guess I can't complain too much.  I dunno, it's not that big of deal really I guess.  Unless it's a really big priced meal (like a wedding) I don't think it matters too mcuh.  But that's just me, I guess.</p>
 

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<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>MissMommyNiceNice</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279018/how-many-will-rsvp#post_16043449"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>  Unless it's a really big priced meal (like a wedding) I don't think it matters too mcuh.  But that's just me, I guess.</p>
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<p><br>
It really does matter.  I'm inviting at least 150 people.  I need to know whether 10 or 100 are coming so I can prepare food in particular, and how I will arrange my house for traffic.  </p>
<p>If someone extends an invitation, the very least you can do is respond to it, especially if it is specifically requested!</p>
<p>I've never actually met anyone online or iRL who has said that unless it's something like a wedding it doesn't matter too much.  But I knew you were out there because look at the RSVP rates people are citing!</p>
 

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<p>I usually get pretty good rsvp rates, but most people of my mom's generation don't respond to me directly.  A lot of time if one of my aunts is talking to my mom, she'll mention it to her and then later my mom will call and tell me "Oh, by the way, Auntie T can't make it next month, but Ben, Em and the kids are coming."  I've always found it kind of strange.  I might chat to someone else about a party, but I always rsvp directly to the host.</p>
 

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<p>In my experience, people who are coming, respond. A few people 'get' the idea of RSVP and decline. Everyone else who isn't coming doesn't bother to respond. I usually get about 50% responding right away, and another 20-30% respond after a reminder. The rest are a lost cause.</p>
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<p>That being said, I find RSVP and "open house" don't really go well together. RSVPs are, in my experience, for parties where there's a fixed time and/or event. Since open houses are more 'drop by for a bit', it might not occur to me to RSVP unless it were prominently placed.</p>
 

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<p>I'm surprised that so many people think the fact that it's an open house makes such a difference. A host of anything needs to have a general head count to know how much food to buy and prepare -- it would be crazy to buy enough for 150 and then have 40 people show up, you know? </p>
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<p>Some of the most profuse "thank you"s I've received were when I called to RSVP "no" to something -- hosts are so appreciative of that! Anyway, I make it a point to RSVP promptly and wouldn't make an executive decision about it just because I didn't feel that the type of party warranted an RSVP. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>LynnS6</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279018/how-many-will-rsvp#post_16045476"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>In my experience, people who are coming, respond. A few people 'get' the idea of RSVP and decline. Everyone else who isn't coming doesn't bother to respond. I usually get about 50% responding right away, and another 20-30% respond after a reminder. The rest are a lost cause.</p>
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<br><p>That's my experience too.  I figure if people don't RSVP, they aren't coming.  I forgot to RSVP to something I wanted to attend, so I didn't go and ever since then I've tried to be good about RSVPing.  But I don't RSVP to everything on facebook.  I don't see all the invitations I get all the time, and I've gotten a lot of invitations to the commercial parties. </p>
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<p>I gave out 32 invitations to my daughter's birthday party and said to call or email to let me know if they planned to attend.  I figured those who weren't coming just wouldn't respond.  The first three responses I got were 3 people saying they weren't coming, and I didn't get any yes responses until a day or two before the deadline.  All in all I think I got 10 responses.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>limabean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279018/how-many-will-rsvp#post_16046161"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I'm surprised that so many people think the fact that it's an open house makes such a difference. A host of anything needs to have a general head count to know how much food to buy and prepare -- it would be crazy to buy enough for 150 and then have 40 people show up, you know? </p>
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<p>Some of the most profuse "thank you"s I've received were when I called to RSVP "no" to something -- hosts are so appreciative of that! Anyway, I make it a point to RSVP promptly and wouldn't make an executive decision about it just because I didn't feel that the type of party warranted an RSVP. </p>
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<p>I have given a fair share of open house parties (we're generally a lazy and casual crowd) and I have not ever expected or asked for RSVP's.  I tend to buy and prep enough food for about 120% of the invite list---it's an open house and people often bring extras, some stay for a long time.  Generally, this leaves me with a good bit of leftovers to send home with the last guests and feed my family through the next day or two of post-party clean up.  IMO, and open house is just saying---hey, we're having people drop by all day and visiting and hanging out.  Come if you can!  I would never think I needed to RSVP for an open house.</p>
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<p>Is it that common that people invite 150 and only 40 people show?  It's been my experience that with or without RSVPs, 80% of an invite list generally shows. That goes up if it's an annual party (ie, we through an NYE party each year and everyone we invite shows up because they count on it each year).  More formal, smaller parties I tend to invite in more direct ways than mailed/emailed invitations and I follow up.  Small dinner parties, generally everyone planning on coming talks to me about it---"what can I bring?" "are we getting dressed up?" etc.  And I have a lot of friends with allergies so I tend to hound my list to see what accommodations I need to make with the menu.  So I guess even my more formal parties are too casual for proper RSVPs!  :lol<br>
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<p>I think there might be some confusion because you are inviting to an open house, but asking for an RSVP.  Typically open houses do not require a reply around here.  If anything, they usually have "Regrets Only" on them (and even that is rare).  Because there is a "window" for visiting and people may try to squeeze in a quick stop by for a drink, they may not even know up to the minute if they can make it...  which is the point of making it an open house, I guess with the busy holidays.  I hope you get some response, but when we have our holiday open houses, we don't ask for a response and assume 70% to show up at some point, the majority being during the last half of the time frame.  We make sure to have enough food and drink for all, but assume we'll be eating some leftovers<span>.</span>  You may want to just plan it in a similar fashion, as depending on where you are, others might ignore the RSVP due to it being an open house.  Limabean - the type of party does make a difference because a cocktail party would ask for an RSVP, but an open house is for people to show up if they can without needing a response, typically.  They are essentially the same thing (a meal isn't going to be served at either), but one is more "open" than the other.  If I wanted definite responses, I would have worded it as a holiday cocktail party.  JMO.</p>
 

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<p>Okay, so it seems like the last couple of posters are saying that open house invitations in general don't typically have an RSVP request on them. I get that, and it makes sense. But if you got an open house invitation that DID have an RSVP request on it, would you think, "Eh, it's just an open house, I don't need to RSVP," or would you think, "Oh, the host wants an RSVP. Odd for an open house, but whatever, I'll call since she asked."? I guess that's the issue for me -- would you ignore an RSVP request just because you felt that the type of party didn't warrant it, or would you RSVP because the host asked you to so it obviously matters to her? </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>limabean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279018/how-many-will-rsvp#post_16046797"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Okay, so it seems like the last couple of posters are saying that open house invitations in general don't typically have an RSVP request on them. I get that, and it makes sense. But if you got an open house invitation that DID have an RSVP request on it, would you think, "Eh, it's just an open house, I don't need to RSVP," or would you think, "Oh, the host wants an RSVP. Odd for an open house, but whatever, I'll call since she asked."? I guess that's the issue for me -- would you ignore an RSVP request just because you felt that the type of party didn't warrant it, or would you RSVP because the host asked you to so it obviously matters to her? </p>
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I'd call and clarify.  If it were a close friend, I'd probably mention that using "Open House" and asking for an RSVP is at odds with each other.  If it were an acquaintance, I'd say that we can't be sure if we can make it, but ask if it's "open" (if so, reply "maybe") and if not truly an open house, then give a "no" if I was not positive I could make it.</p>
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<p>The holidays are like graduation time... everybody has something going on, so the point of the open house is that people can go to multiple events on the same day and not worry about making it to some place on time (or at all if they get caught up someplace else).</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #20
<p>I think the idea that an open house doesn't require an RSVP by definition is regional.  Here, open houses seek RSVPs.  It's our norm.</p>
 
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