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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, this is obviously a matter of opinion, but I was curious as to what other people thought. A little background... my almost 3 yr old was very, very fussy as a baby. I had to hold her all of the time in order to keep her happy, and that didn't always work. I did have a Maya Wrap, but she hated it (or I didn't have the hang of it), so we were pretty much couch bound for a while. She was also one of those babies that if you tried laying her down when she was asleep, she would instantly wake up and scream <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
So, now I have a 2 week old son. They are like night and day. This little guy is very calm, loves to be held, but can also be layed down. Even if he is awake, he will lay while I get lunch together, get dressed, etc. He also doesn't seem to mind the car seat when we go out... something that my dd absolutely hated!<br><br>
Now here's the real question... he's mostly carried when we're out. I realize he's very young, but we've been out for a few Dr. visits, grocery shopping, taking dd to her activities, etc. If it's a short trip to the grocery store and he's sleeping, I'll leave him in his car seat/carrier thing. Anything longer, he is in arms or in the Mei Tai or wrap. At home, there is a mix of sleeping of beaing held, being worn, sleeping on the couch, and sleeping in the car seat. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is the balance. I know some people carry all day. However, I've been avoiding doing that for two reasons. First, my dd is a very sensitive, very high needs child, and I think this transition is easier on her since I'm not always holding ds. The other things is that it is so nice having a calm baby who can be happy on his own, that I don't want to mess it up! It does feel so weird, though. I feel guilty letting him sleep for an hour or two all by himself, but he doesn't seem to mind.<br><br>
So, what do other people do? How do you balance babywearing time with non-wearing or carrying time? Part of me feels like he should be with me more, but I'm certainly not ignoring his needs. The only time he has cried is when he has gas (at which point I've worn him to keep him more upright). He doesn't get left alone when he's awake, and he's often held in his sleep...
 

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My DD is just like your DD so I had no choice but to carry her all the time. Of course now that she is a little older she will entertain herself for a while.<br>
It seems like what you are doing works for you so I say keep it up!<br><br>
Kristen
 

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Sounds like you're doing just fine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Sounds like you've found a good balance that works well for both your children-be happy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br>
Really, don't worry about the "shoulds" or what others say is "best." What is best is what works well for you and your family. Sounds like baby is very content and has a wonderful trust in his mama and knows when he needs to be carried and when he's fine to hang out laying down. Follow his cues and all is well.<br>
Enjoy!<br>
Ann
 

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It sounds like you're doing well. My DSs are/were just like both of yours - DS1 very needy, didn't like the sling until he was 6 months (first six months I just held him all the time) couldn't lay down with out waking, etc., just like your DD. DS2 on the other hand actually fell asleep by himself when I lay him down once when he was tiny. He's very calm, etc. However, eventually he started needing more parenting and being held and right now is incredibly clingy! So it may change as your DS gets older. Follow his cues, you can't go wrong! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annakiss</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Follow his cues, you can't go wrong! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I've had one laid back baby and one baby that had to be held all the time, go with the flow! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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yup...i'd go as far as to say take advantage of the fact that he lets you put him down. seriously. your dd is much more aware of your choices right now and probably really needs your attention, especially with the new one in her life. LOL my DS was the same way as your DD was...and my new DD is the same way that your DS is. LOL so I carry her when it makes sense, and i also put her down when it makes sense. she sleeps in her moses basket for naps and overnight (always right next to me for bedtime, but i put her in a different room for naps so DS doesn't wake her up).<br><br>
do what you can, when you can, and remove all guilt. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I say it's always more important to do what's best for your family! Don't worry about what people say you should, or should not be doing! Do what works! Noone knows yours kids needs better than you mama!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I'm glad to hear that other people have had similar experiences. It can be so hard looking at him laying by himself ... I feel wierd not holding him. I have to try laying him down in another room for naps, as dd has been really bad about him sleeping the last few days. The poor guy hardly slept yesterday between gas pains and his sister screaming boo or surprise in his face everytime I layed him down <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Sounds like you're doing great. So long as everybody's needs are getting met, I wouldn't worry about how much time you're spending BWing.<br><br>
Griff needed to be carried/worn constantly but Reese sounds like your son, he has a much more laid-back personality. He actually WANTS to be put down a lot of the time! We were shocked when we first realized that he sometimes didn't want to be held, it was so different for us! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 
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