How much can I do?

684 Views 14 Replies 13 Participants Last post by bri276, Apr 16, 2006

ExuberantDaffodil

Discussion Starter · Apr 14, 2006

A co-worker of mine walked into my office today to show me an ultrasound picture - she is 11 weeks along. I do know that she and her dh have been ttc for quite some time now, and she is thrilled to be pregnant (she had a mc several months ago).

While I am very happy for her, I can't help but recall something she said to me when when I mentioned breastfeeding my ds when he was an infant, "EW! That is so gross. I could never have something sucking on me. I will never breastfeed. That's what bottles are for." I was so offended at the time that I had to turn around and walk out of the room.

Part of me feels like she is a lost cause, but part of me wants to do whatever, how ever little, I can to show her the benefits of breastfeeding. I can't be too pushy - this is my workplace, and our society gives her the freedom to choose to be disgusted by breastfeeding and choosing to formula feed instead....

What can I do mamas? How can I subtly and respectfully lead her to resources that can encourage her see a different point of view?

I am more heartsick over this than I should be...

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Rhiannon Feimorgan

· #2 · Apr 14, 2006

nak

You could send her some links to websights that thave helped you learn about parenting and include breastfeeding friendly sites like Dr Sears and of corse MDC.

KC in KS

· #3 · Apr 14, 2006

I know that before I got pregnant, I had a lot of opinions about how I would parent. Then while pregnant, I talked to a lot of people, read a lot of things, considered a lot of new ideas. Not all of them stuck (I decided not to CD, for example) but some of them did.

I'd spend time encouraging her in her pregnancy, celebrating the happy days, offering her tips on coping with the various discomforts. In other words, be a friend. If she trusts you, she'll be more open to listening to you.

Then you can slip in little pro-nursing thoughts - say, she's saying she's worried about the midnight feedings. It's easy enough for you to say "It's not so bad if you're nursing. You can just lay down with the baby, latch her own, and drift back to sleep while she nurses."

Don't make it a big campaign to Convince her. Just another one of many oh-so-helpful bits of motherwisdom you're sharing.

Joannarachel

· #4 · Apr 14, 2006

I'd give her Dr. Sears "The Baby Book". It's mainstream and practical enough to appeal to anybody, but really pushes such issues as breastfeeding and co-sleeping

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sapphire_chan

· #5 · Apr 14, 2006

Offtopic:
Anyone else feel a bit sorry for the co-worker's dh?

ExuberantDaffodil

Discussion Starter · #6 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
Offtopic:
Anyone else feel a bit sorry for the co-worker's dh?

:

That was SO funny!!! Thank, I needed that!

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rmzbm

· #7 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joannarachel
I'd give her Dr. Sears "The Baby Book". It's mainstream and practical enough to appeal to anybody, but really pushes such issues as breastfeeding and co-sleeping

That's what I was thinking...

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~Nikki~

· #8 · Apr 15, 2006

Quote:

Offtopic:
Anyone else feel a bit sorry for the co-worker's dh?

Bahahaha!

As others said, I'd recommend Dr. Sears books, and other books that slip breastfeeding in as the norm. I wouldn't recommend sending her to MDC, to be honest. It can be a bit....intimidating for a hardcore mainstreamer, and it's possible that she'll just dismiss any breastfeeding advice as "crazy" once she sees all of the other wacky forums us hippies populate.

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SunShineSally

· #9 · Apr 15, 2006

2

NAK

I said before I was ever pregnant that I "wouldn't want something sucking on me" well Ds will be 2 on monday when I became preggo I wanted to know everything! and make my decisions before he came in to the word and find out all my options some I wish I had done more research but you know better you do better. Like PP have said give her dr.sears I

him he helped my sister get out of being so mainstream as she was with my oldest nephew she vows to never CIO and she co sleeps she attempted to nurse and had LOTS of diffacuties I give her so much credit for how long she stuck it out for she even tried to relactate after her post partum but had no luck. Okay so I got way OTsorry but my main point is if she finds out all the information on BFing all the amazing benifits and bond that you have with your nursling maybe just maybe she will see the light

Ohhh yeah if she is way mainstream maybe she would be intimidated by MDC she needs to take baby steps

Karen and Baby Joe

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MaryJaneLouise

· #10 · Apr 15, 2006

Find out if there BFing classes at your local hospital and offer to sponsor her $wise to go there as your baby present. They are pretty mainstream and unintimidating. Or give her "So that's what they're for", it's funny and lighthearted.

flyingspaghettimama

· #11 · Apr 15, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Nikki~
I wouldn't recommend sending her to MDC, to be honest. It can be a bit....intimidating for a hardcore mainstreamer, and it's possible that she'll just dismiss any breastfeeding advice as "crazy" once she sees all of the other wacky forums us hippies populate.

Yeah. "What is this 'lotus birth' that I've been reading about?"

I also agree with just being a friend and or the Sears book. At least she knows that if she wants information on BFing she can ask you.

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sapphire_chan

· #12 · Apr 15, 2006

Send her to kellymom instead.

lilsishomemade

· #13 · Apr 15, 2006

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
Offtopic:
Anyone else feel a bit sorry for the co-worker's dh?

That's EXACTLY what ran through my mind!

I agree, give her the Dr. Sear's book! Just say something about the book having great info and it helped you or something. Also, I like a pp's comment about just get in some pro-bf comments when different topics come up. Like the night-feeding one. Or, if someone talks about all the work that goes into bottlefeeding, just kinda chuckle and say, "That's the nice thing about bf, you don't have to worry about ANY of that!" or whatever. Yes, I know, if you pump and give bm in a bottle, you have to take care of all that, but I wouldn't mention that

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Ruthla

· #14 · Apr 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilsishomemade
Or, if someone talks about all the work that goes into bottlefeeding, just kinda chuckle and say, "That's the nice thing about bf, you don't have to worry about ANY of that!" or whatever. Yes, I know, if you pump and give bm in a bottle, you have to take care of all that, but I wouldn't mention that

Actually, I WOULD mention that pumping is very do-able, and nursing doesn't have to be "all or nothing." Since this woman is a co-worker, there's a good chance she'll be returning to work after her baby's birth, and it's important for her to know that returning to work isn't a reason to bottlefeed from day 1.

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bri276

· #15 · Apr 16, 2006

I agree w/ the book recommendation, once she's closer to her due date I would make a little basket with a few onesies, bibs, blankets and the book in the middle.

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