Over 8 years, it has varied. At times our household work load was equal, other times it fell on my shoulders. But he has NEVER had the complete responsibility of keeping our house a home.
This past winter we were both working full time. I would get up with DH in the morning, drive him to work (10 mins round trip), come home, get ready for work, leave for work for 8 hours. DH would get home an hour before me then sit at the computer playing stupid games till I got home. When I got home, I'd have to make dinner, and tidy up. We argued over this.
He would say "i just got home!!!" Um, hello? By the time I'd get home, he was relaxing for an hour & 15 minutes. I never sat down till dinner was ready.
His other argument? "I work harder". Granted. He has a "manly" job. He works with metal. But he's always talking about how they have forklifts, mini cranes etc so that they hardly ever had to lift anything heavy. They'd get 3 breaks a day. Often they need to just stand there and talk together about projects.
I on the other hand had a job cleaning. I worked from 9-5pm with ONE
15 min break to eat lunch. That was the only time I sat down all day. I had to clean up tables after 50-450 people a day (average was 200). Take out garbage and recycling, haul a stupid industrial sized vacuum up and down stairs twice a day, vacuum, mop, dust, clean washrooms, clean conference rooms & offices, pick up garbage and just keep a huge building full of people neat and tidy. (It was a losing battle some days). When I wasn't busy, I was in the kitchen prepping veggies, portioning food, occasionally serving customers. God, it makes me tired just thinking about it.
So, we made a deal. I work part time and take care of our home. He works full time and doesn't have to do much when he's home. Oh, occasionally he'll do some laundry, cook a meal etc. But he doesn't *have* to. I am so much happier with this arrangement. But I would have been happier to start out with if he *understood* what it was like working so crazy all the time.