I don't have a 9 year old or a 6 year old. I know it's much easier to advise once you've had a kid that age, so I don't have much for them.<br><br>
I *do* have a 4 year old, and the first thing I wondered about was routine. These generally sound like kids who don't know what's going on, and are testing the heck out of their place in the family. How structured is your day? Are their chores supposed to be done at the same time every day- pick up before lunch, clothes away before dinner, that sort of thing? When my 4 year old acts like that, it's because our routine has recently changed, or we've just gotten lax about everything. She does best when the day has a more predictable flow, particularly in regard to when she is supposed to be responsible for her family contributions (chores).<br><br>
She still whines about at least one thing every day(not usually the chores, more like "I wanted the red cup" or "I don't want to leave the pool"), even when we're doing everything "right," so I'd say some is absolutely normal no matter what you do. And if it was just one kid I'd wonder if maybe it was temperament- my 4 year old is just a whinier kid than my 2 year old. They've all got their things. But if what you describe was my house, since it's all of them, I'd probably think it was me and would be looking at things to change.