[durafemina]

So here's the situation -
I'm in my final year of midwifery school and we live with my preceptor who is also my dear friend, and our midwife. BUT, Dp and I have been talking a lot lately about wanting to labour and birth alone. I'm sure my midwife would be totally cool with staying out of our part of the house (although I suspect she'd still set up her gear in another part of the house - and that's ok with me) and I like that she's there if there's an emergency and we need her (she's a pretty hands off homebirth midwife anyway).
Anyway. . . so my question is - DP is asking me what he should know, what he should read, practice, etc. I don't really know what to tell him because I feel like I know too much - I don't want to try and 'train' him to be a mini-midwife - kwim? And I want this birth to be pretty hands off - ie I wouldn't suction a baby - so I don't want DP doing that, or touching my perineum during crowning or etc etc.
As far as emergencies go - I just want him to call our midwife into the room, not try to handle them on his own - so maybe just knowing what some signs or emergencies are? On the other hand I don't want him to panic and call her in for non-emergent things!
I know what kind of support things I want from him (reminding me to get in the pool, talking me through ctx that kind of thing).
The thing is - he was a fantastic labour support (and did a lot of the labour on his own) with dd - and he'd done almost no reading beforehand - so I don't want to really mess with his natural instincts.

Am I making any sense? anyone got any ideas for me?

 

[lightinmyhands]

I've got a really amazing instinctual one too. I would say, don't mess with it too much. I fully trust that in the moment, my partner has the instincts to do what he needs to do. No need to mess too much with that.

 

[mauri456]

I'd leave it be. He has been through it before and was a good help. If you tell him too much to learn, he may start thinking too much through. You have a back up there and that is why I am saying this.

 

[Talula Fairie]

I'd probably leave it alone too, you're pretty well versed and your mw will be right there in the house.

 

[sarahwpen]

in light of the stuff you have said you do, and do not want him to do I would say he needs to know......
how to make tea! and warm up rice bags/heat packs. or where you hide your birth goodies (like juice boxes etc). just anything that he might not know how to work, or locate. it sounds like you have a great partner!

 

[littlebb]

I have to agree with all of the above. It sounds like he's pretty in tune anyway, and I truly believe that when someone is that in tune, their instincts would tell them if/when something is truly wrong. I definitely agree with that last comment about heating up rice bags and knowing where things are so he can help you without you having to ask for too much.