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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>I've already been off work for 2 weeks due to bleeding.  Now that the pg is over, I'm waiting to finish miscarrying and have already planned to be off through Thanksgiving. </p>
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<p>I feel that I need the time, but it's crazy to me, really.  I mean, I know lots of women who have had miscarriages, but I never noticed them taking a bunch of time off work.  Do most women just work through this? Or is my situation/time frame different?</p>
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<p>(It doesn't help that my dh isn't supportive of me taking this time off, but that's another thread.)</p>
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<p>I feel like I have a dozen different threads going. Sorry.  I just keep thinking of new things I need/want to ask about.</p>
 

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<p>I didn't take any time off for any of my miscarriages.  Perhaps I should have, but I had obligations that I wasn't comfortable not making. </p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Jane</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278486/how-much-time-did-you-take-off-work-for-a-m-c#post_16035034"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I didn't take any time off for any of my miscarriages.  Perhaps I should have, but I had obligations that I wasn't comfortable not making. </p>
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<br><br><p>I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of answers like this.  But did you just work through heavy bleeding, clots, tissue, and cramping? </p>
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<p>How did you handle the emotional part of it?</p>
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<p>I suppose the type of job one does could make a difference, but still.</p>
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<p>With my m/c back in 2002 it was a missed m/c and I had a D&C.  I took a week off after the D&C.  At the time, it felt excessive. </p>
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<p>Had a m/c this summer when, thankfully, I wasn't working.  About 4 days of heavy bleeding (during most of which the baby was still alive) and then a D&C.  It took me a full week to feel back to myself after the surgery that time.</p>
 

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<p>Trini, I am so sorry for your loss.</p>
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<p>I think you should trust yourself to decide what's right for you.  With both of my miscarriages I didn't take as much time as I should have and I regretted it.  My physical recovery was very stressful because of it.  Please take this time to care for and love yourself!</p>
 

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<p>My m/c crossed over Thanksgiving, so I took over the surrounding days and it ended up giving me a full week off with the holiday. It was hard to go back, mostly because everyone knew and I hated the way they looked at me. I bled for 6 weeks with the m/c, so I couldn't stay home all the time, but I am glad that I had that first week off.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>trini</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278486/how-much-time-did-you-take-off-work-for-a-m-c#post_16035044"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br>
  But did you just work through heavy bleeding, clots, tissue, and cramping? 
<p> </p>
<p>How did you handle the emotional part of it?</p>
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I don't think that you should make decisions for yourself based on what other people have done.  It's so individual. </p>
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<p>I did work through the heavy cramping and passage of the baby and placenta, partly because I didn't have another good choice.  It's not a good idea to be alone during that time, and staying home would have meant alone.  I did take pain medication, to help. </p>
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<p>Emotionally - I wall stuff off.  I enjoyed having something be normal.  It let me pretend to be normal. </p>
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<p>I wish I had taken more time off after my ectopic pregnancy - I took 2 days.  I needed something between the bedrest they ordered and work.  Bedrest all by myself makes me stabby. </p>
 

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<p>I had a blighted ovum and bled for 2 months before I finally had a d&c. I took off an afternoon or morning here and there, but no solids days off. I do remember a co-worker driving me home one day because the blood loss approached a level that didn't seem conducive to driving. I don't even think I took off more than a day or 2 for the D&C.  I did, however, "slack off" on unpacking our new apartment. We moved at the beginning of the mc (before I started bleeding), and I just couldn't get to the unpacking part. At least, I recall DH unpacking a lot more boxes than I did, and I think he would concur.</p>
 

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<p>I just so happened to be off work for a back injury when I miscarried. I had 2 weeks of "light duties" left, after my loss, and then I was back full time again.</p>
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<p>This miscarriage i am a sahm. But I would take time off work for sure, had I been working. Probably as much as week could afford. A week or 2... I think by then I'd be ready for some normalcy to return. Right now I'm sort of begging for adult interaction and distraction....</p>
 

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<p>I only took one full day off. I just needed somewhere to go during the day. I couldn't stay home by myself and watch movies all day long. Fortunately I had a quiet desk job where I could sneak out early. Sure didn't get much done for a few weeks.</p>
 

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<p>I didn't have a job when I had my miscarriage, but all of my bleeding happened in the course of two days, really.  I had some bleeding like a period for about half a day, and then a dam broke and it all came out.  I was across the country at the time, visiting my family, and ended up going to the ER, but I had eaten dinner, so they couldn't do a d/c.  But then it turned out there really wasn't much left at that point, so they just got what was left without sedating me, and I was able to fly home the next day.  I think it depends on how bad the pain is, and how extensive the bleeding.  I have some heavy periods these days that have thrown me for a loop for a day or two, and when I had the really bad menstrual cramps as a teen, it was so hard to do anything from the pain.  </p>
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<p>As far as the emotional aspect, I think some people can find it helpful to work when they are grieving.  It just depends on how emotionally functional you are, and if you aren't ready yet, that's a very personal thing. When my Dad died, I took 5 days off of work. I could see doing something similar for a miscarriage, but if you are in physical pain and passing a lot of clots, it could be a longer period of time, of course.</p>
 

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<p>I had light bleeding for a week before my blighted ovum was diagnosed. The actual miscarriage started while I was at work. I took 6 Ibuprofen but was still having cold sweats from the cramping. I did work through it, and I passed the bulk of everything that evening at home. I wouldn't have wanted to be at work during that part. I was back at my desk the next morning and honestly don't recall anything about dealing with more bleeding there, though I must have because I bled for two more weeks.</p>
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<p>Emotionally, it was terrible. Everyone in my small office knew what happened and were nice about it. But I think my lack of any memory of the immediate time afterward is because I was so numb and devastated. I remember wailing all the way home in the car every night for weeks...it was tough to have to bottle it all up during working hours. But I had no other kids at the time, and I'm not sure that staying home in an empty house would have been healthy for me, either.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<p>Thanks for sharing your stories.  I teach kindergarten, and heavy bleeding and being alone in a classroom all day with 24 5-year-olds just doesn't seem healthy for them or for me.  I never even sit down during the course of the school day.  It was touch-and-go for a while with the heavy bleeding but still a living baby and I just wanted/needed to be home.  Now that we know the baby died but nothing is happening, it feels weird not to be at work.  Just today we decided to schedule a D&C for tomorrow.  I could probably go back to work next Monday in theory, but I am going to take off until Thanksgiving.  I have an excellent sub, my students have consistency, and I can concentrate on physical and emotional healing. </p>
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<p>Hugs to all of you who are currently going through your m/c.</p>
 

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<p>How are things, mama? Did you get the d&c?</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>KristaDJ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278486/how-much-time-did-you-take-off-work-for-a-m-c#post_16040779"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>How are things, mama? Did you get the d&c?</p>
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<br><br><p>Thanks for checking in.  Yes, I got the D&C yesterday.  I'm glad I did and it went relatively smoothly.  Still a lot of bleeding, but it's nice to know that the worst is over and I can just concentrate on healing now.</p>
 

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<p>I'm so sorry for your loss. You need to do what's right for you, and what you can afford and what your job will allow. Or, say to heck with the job if that's what feels right for you.</p>
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<p>I worked through all my miscarriages. One of them I went in to the hospital after I got off work for the day, and then was back the next morning. I couldn't afford to take time off. I was paid hourly and didn't have much sick leave to use(I already had one child, and had to use leave when he was sick). </p>
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<p>It's definitely hard. I can't say I'd recommend it, but what choice did I have? I also had to return to work 3 weeks after giving birth to DS1. Sometimes employment just sucks.....</p>
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<p>I'm sorry for you loss...I started bleeding on a Wednesday, by the friday i was hospitalized, Saturday D&C (life saving measures) and then Sunday i came home but then took the week off...I run a small dayhome so i could have continued when ever but since i lost so much blood i was so tired and dizzy and not really safe to be runny and playing with little ones...My income isn't necessary (and barly counts as an income) so i could have taken as much time as i needed and my husband would have been ok with it...My miscarriage was pretty traumatic and nearly costed me my life so he would have done what ever he could to "make things better"...</p>
 

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<p>I stayed home for a week and then worked half days for another week.  I'm the director of a large childcare center, and I'm sure they didn't love not having me there, but I had to do what was best for me.  I needed time without all the babies and happy (and even unhappy) families around.</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>trini</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278486/how-much-time-did-you-take-off-work-for-a-m-c#post_16041763"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>KristaDJ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278486/how-much-time-did-you-take-off-work-for-a-m-c#post_16040779"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>How are things, mama? Did you get the d&c?</p>
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<br><br><p>Thanks for checking in.  Yes, I got the D&C yesterday.  I'm glad I did and it went relatively smoothly.  Still a lot of bleeding, but it's nice to know that the worst is over and I can just concentrate on healing now.</p>
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<p><span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"> I'm glad you were able to get that over with.</span> <span><img alt="candle.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif"></span><span><img alt="candle.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/candle.gif"></span><br>
 </p>
 

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<p>I worked the day of mine.  I hadn't told my job I was pregnant yet so I didn't feel comfortable askin off. I had just moved to a new city for work when I found out. Mine was rather quick though.  I woke up to cramps and then I went through what is similar to labor and passed most of it that morning.  After that it was like a normal period that just lasted a few days longer.  I am thankful because I managae a restaurant and it's a tough job but I was able to make it through work fine.  Luckily it was Christmas Eve and we closed early.  I texted the new boss something about a rough morning and he let me come in later.  I went home and had the evening and the next day to rest.</p>
 

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<p>I missed 2 days.. the day of the miscarriage and the following day.  I needed to work to keep my mind busy.. it helped me alot.  If i am home alone I tend to dwell on things so being distracted helped.</p>
 
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