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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Xh is supposed to pay upfront for the orthodontic expenses (they are about to begin). I specifically requested that be in our orders (as I had been frontloading all other costs and it was proving to be a burden).

I emailed him (to both of his email addresses) all of the info about dd1's initial consultation appointment, scanned copies of literature, including the letter that requests both parents attend if possible. I asked for his response by ___ if I needed to reschedule to a different day/time. He never responded.

I am about to resend that same email. The appointment is in another week.

My concern is that he is going to not pay the consultation fee. I am not going to leave the appointment just because he doesn't show up, or call to pay with a credit card over the phone (which I confirmed IS an option). The initial consultation fee isn't a problem....but the bigger bills WILL be a problem. He has also refused to provide me with his dental numbers to date, and has not called them into the dental office either. Seriously, how difficult can all this stuff be????

So I'm not sure what to do from here? Just resend the email? Ask if he is planning to attend the appointment? How he will pay? He will probably have to sign some forms...and if not, then I will have to sign them and be responsible for the bill. I hate dealing with him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I went ahead and resent with this note: "Hi xh, Please see below and attached information. I haven't heard back from you about whether or not you plan to attend. If not, then there is the option to pay over the phone with a credit card. The office also needs your Blue Cross Dental numbers."
 

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I wouldn't sign any papers about being responsible for payment. At our office, I had to sign multiple responsibility forms.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the tip. I might have just signed away otherwise. I am prepared to pay the initial consultation fee of $90 and note contempt of court order and refusal to communicate about health....but I feel caught in a potentially tough situation if xh ends up refusing to cooperate, and they recommend major treatment ( I suspect they will as she has no space - so far one permanent tooth isn't coming in because there is no space).
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
He replied to say he will be there.

Ugh about having to be in the same room as him. But at least he will take care of payment. I guess I bring a copy of our court orders just in case. And I plan for something REALLY fun afterwards.
 

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It took his desire to protect his insurance # to get him there. He doesn't want you in control of that.

I am glad you pushed and got him to agree to come. Good call on bringing the paperwork.
 

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How about voice recording the entire consultation? Ask the dentist if she/he objects, and say you're just doing it so you can recall later what her/his exact recommendations are? Then ask lots of questions about what to expect, time wise, payment wise, etc. Then write it all down and email it to xh so you both have it documented now and there's no disagreements later about cost, frequency of appts, how payments are made and when they're expected to be due. That way your Xh can't later accuse you of adding to the bill or demanding payments when they're not yet due without his permission.
 

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What would you advise one of us to do in this situation? Try distancing yourself from it a little so you aren't getting confused by any triggers and fears and imagine it was one of us posting this question. What would you say?

I am not so sure I would openly record the conversation. It will change the tone of the meeting for the orthodontist and potentially make it a high stress situation or make them perceive YOU as a high conflict personality. Since you live in a one party consent province for recording, just do it discreetly. Make notes as things go along and know that you will have the recording if it is ever needed.

Definitely bring a copy of your court orders, just in case. They will be concerned with getting paid so that might be a helpful document to have on hand.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I have a feeling he will be ok with consenting to treatment, as our dental plans should cover a lot of the cost. The orthodontist will be our witness. I'm thinking I should arrive early and give reception a heads up that xh does not communicate openly with me, so what is shared with him won't necessarily make it to me, ensure address and primary phone number are with me, etc.

Oh!!!!! I just remembered the reason he is going.... the office pamphlet makes it look like it is an all female staff! Maybe I should arrive early and ask them to go easy on him....it's his first time. Ahem, first time attending a med appt for kids.
 

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Most dentists will print out a summery of the treatment they recommend and the fees associated with them, so I really do not see the point of recording anything.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Yes, and we would be requesting a pre authorization from the insurance also, so he will know in advance of treatment how much of what he pays will be reimbursed.
 
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