How much touching is normal at 19 months?

Even though he can verbalize the idea that it's normal behavior, he says it just seems like she's too young (DD is 18 months). I think he's having first qualms about his baby girl growing up!

KC

Totally normal. Although there tends to be a double standard out there(not saying you are holding her to it, but society as a whole).... when little boys do it their fathers and mothers laugh about it and when little girls do it, fathers and mothers (fathers in particular) feel uncomfortable about it. So no worries, she is well within normal

That's not universally true, a friend of mine (ap friend) gets really weirded out by her ds's touching, especially when he is sitting on her lap.

And I doubt dh and I would be bothered by it if we had a daughter. Lord knows we aren't bothered by it in our sons (who are ALWAYS naked...)

I never thought it was a sexist thing. I just expected it more from boys. Not even because "boys will be boys" or anything like that. I just thought since they actually had stuff to really "play" with. Shows what I know! Anyway, it cracks me up. She's been doing it since about 10 months old and it's funny how uncomfortable it can make my dh. Especially since she knows how to get her diapers off now. We'll have to work on relaxing him some. Thanks everyone.

Yeah, I will agree with that somewhat. I am finding more and more as I get older that I was raised by a very opinionated, feminist mother and a father that never seemed to mind (he's pretty unopinionated about most things). So a lot of things I took for granted as just the way the world is I am finding out is not the way most people see it. There was never really any difference between boys and girls in our house, unless it was in the girls' favor. So I tend to think of women having the upper hand in most things. Doesn't make me an advocate for the repressed male, by any means, but it does skew my perspective.

Anyway, I think my friend specifically has a problem seeing her baby (he's 19 months) as a sexual being. I think for her erection+touching=sexuality. Actually, I think it probably is more like erection=sexuality. I really don't see it that way. For either gender. I think at this age sensation=exploration and that is all. Erections serve a purpose, as far as naturally retracting the foreskin and such but beyond that, any tingly sensation that makes them feel good is going to be something they want to repeat. I really don't see anything upsetting about it as long as you take off your adult goggles and look through the eyes of an innocent child. Kind of like a giant chocolate cake that you knew wouldn't ever make you gain weight. Who wouldn't dive into that all day long? As they get older it will become appropriate to ask them to do it privately but I have found so far that my ds1 (he just turned 4) has let up on it quite a bit in the presence of others. Not sure if he does it in front of his brother but I know simply wearing clothing more often plays a big part in it. He goes to preschool so he kind of has to be dressed and I have started to feel uncomfortable with him being naked when I answer the door. Not so much for him or for me but I don't really want a stranger looking at him now that he isn't a baby, yk? Anyway, this is totally rambling but I am saying that it is natural and will lessen as she gets older and if you do or say anything about it now, you will probably give her a complex that she won't even understand the origins of and thus be harder to overcome. Probably.

Totally normal. My son LOVES to pull on his foreskin. I've even found him trying to put it in his mouth : Crazy kid!!

my son pulls his foreskin and grabs it and "crouches" or something when in the tub. i never thought about it and honestly would have with a girl just because its "not polite" for girls to "scratch" in public (and who would want to?!!.... . when reading your post though i just thought....make sure sure to name it and/or say is that your private part? i know that a big thing when i was growing up (and still unfortuneatly) is my mother always telling me that other people are WRONG to be touching me in my private parts and that i should tell her if anyone ever did that. in this day in age i think (and i am going to start also) that its important for them to know what it is and that mommy, daddy, grandma and other CLOSE people can touch/talk about it but icky strangers are NO NO's!!

i also know that the question for girls is also raised in adolescense when we all want to know why the heck we look different. its also another time to embaress the kid and explain that exploration in a safe envirnment is OK. I always felt safe to know that i wasn't being "persecuted" for wanting to know about my body and unfortunetly i feel that many very religous people felt that sexuality wasn't ok. i hope that i don't offend anyone but its something to think about.

Danielle

just curious when did you guys start teaching your child to play with themselves in private? my son likes to wear just underwear and he has his hand down his pants all day long. it has become a habit for him. anyway, he is only two and not really old enough (imo) to hang out in his room alone for long periods of time or anything.

i don't really have a problem with it and i don't think i ever projected onto him that it is "bad." but others feel uncomfortable when they come over. he looks pretty big/old. i just try to get him to put some clothes on when we have company and that solves that.

maybe i have some kind of a hang up? i encourage him not to play with it while we are playing cars or eating haha. i'm sure some on here would disagree with that? but i just told him it was NOT bad, but private. he probably can't understand that yet but i wanted to introduce the concept. i mean am i so terrible if i don't want him playing with himself while i am reading him a book if he gets to ALL the rest of the day. usually i let him hold a toy instead b/c really it is just habit that he likes something to hold i think

i have seen threads like this before. there was a pretty heated debate about whether or not little kids should be able to masterbate anytime/anywhere. i hope it doesn't get to that on this thread.