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How much work is potty training?

602 Views 9 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  sleepies
I am trying to figure out how much parental involvement is supposed to be involved in potty training. My mom makes it sound like I'm supposed to actually train her, others say she will figure it out on her own. Dd is 23 monhts, and I wouldn't be worrying about it so much, but she really wants to wear panties!

So yesterday I thought, maybe she is ready to potty train- she does sometimes use the potty, just not consistently. So we went to the store and bought her some Pooh panties and I got a drink and wet doll. We played with the doll with the potty in dd's room and dd used the potty a number of times also. However, we also had a number of accidents. And at times she won't sit on the potty at all when I ask her, and then pees in the floor a minute later!
: We took a break with diapers for a while and then after dinner dd wanted to try the panties and potty again. She has about a 50% success rate.

So what would you do? Plunge ahead? Put in lots of time with her and the potty? Or should I maybe even hide the potty, panties and all until I think she's more ready?


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We followed a book called "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day", which is a book from the 70s, but very good, in my opinion. And truly does work. My mother actually did it with DD, when she was 25 months old. It does very much what it sounds like you are already doing (doll, etc), but in a concentrated way. Basically you set aside a morning with no interruptions and go for it.

What I really liked about it is that she is trained all at once. Not over the course of weeks/months, back and forth with accidents, etc. Not that we never had an accident, but very few, much less than I hear from other parents who are following the tradional method of training over a long course of time. I think that the child is also happier this way because they are capable right away, and they can't like accidents much either?!? Another bonus is that this method teaches the child how to do it all by themselves, as it they have to go, they go by themselves.

You would probably have to do a search online, if you are interested in the book, because it is most likely out of print, although I can't think why. I think that it is so awesome!
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I read the book, too, and thought it sounded great. But we ended up doing the complete opposite. Partly because I was pregnant and nauseas! Anyway, we just made it a non issue. Her potty was there when she wanted to use it. When she did, we got really excited. But if she didn't, we didn't get upset. Last summer, when she was one and a half, I left her pantless when at home. That way there was NOTHING in her way if she wanted to go. And she did use it a lot. While out, we would ask her if she had to go. Gradually, she started to do that, but I kept her diapered. Eventually, she was done with daytime diapers (still needs help at night).

I don't feel like it was that much work. The whole process took about seven months. But it was a very stressless seven months!
With your dd showing such interest, I don't think I would hide the potty or panties. Sounds like she has a good grasp so far, just needs a little more help along the way. For some kids it clicks in a short time and with others over a period of weeks/months. I think it's important to follow her lead with whatever way you choose.
I agree that she seems like she is interested and I wouldn't pass up the opportunity. DD started at 16-17 months telling me when she had to go poop, around 20 she started telling me she had to go pee and she has been in panties since then and pretty much accident free for the past 2 months. I let her be naked a lot (which is now a bit of a habit) and it worked.

She has a potty that sits on the regular one and also a Baby Bjorn for the living room. I love it. We used pull ups or cloth when we were out until about 1 month ago. Every kid is different, but she definitely seems like she might want to learn more about the whole process! I bought lots of panties so we could just clean up and put on a new pair! Good luck!
Thanks for the support Mamas! Moonshine- My mom still has her copy of that book, that's how she trained my brother and I, but that method doesn't seem to be working for dd, maybe she just isn't ready. Though I admit to getting the cliff notes and not reading the whole book.

Oh,well, you can put the kid on a potty, but you can't make her pee. :LOL It is good to hear that success comes in many form for differnt children.
I guess we'll just keep trying at dd's pace.
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Honestly, this was what my dd did too. Basically we just plugged on. I figured she was bound to have accidents and by being wet, she'd realize it wasn't so comfortable and realize she needed to use the potty. At first I was putting her on the potty every half hour to 45 minutes, then I extended it to an hour and then when I noticed she was doing the "potty dance" and would put her on. Now she just tells us when she needs to go and we take her. She still has the occassional accident, but she "trained" in about 3 weeks time or so. We made it really low key and non stressful for her and she's been fine for the most part (she had some power/control issues with going to the potty about 2 weeks ago for almost 2 weeks and we've weathered that and back to basically dry all day and diapers overnight). Good luck to you!
i am still laughing at "you can put a kid on the potty, but you can't make them pee".

i totally agree with following the child's lead. otherwise it becomes a power struggle and can be frustrating for all involved. i think each child is different and it is impossible to compare. my daughter seems to have a big bladder, she can go for 12 hours at night and went for 9 hours today because she refuses to use public toilets right now (bad experience with a self flushing toilet, scared the wits out of her, flushed while she was on it, poor thing). I think that has a lot to do with it, too, whether are not they are even physically ready.

people i know never seem to understand that i kinda miss her being in diapers. she has so many cute dipes, i really wanted another summer of t-shirts and super cute cloth diaper bums. i even miss washing and sorting them... oh well, have to wait for the next one.
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My dd is 32 mo and just this week decided she wanted to be in big girl underwear instead of diapers. We've had the underwear for about 6 months but she never really wanted to wear them. For the past year or so she's had a potty chair and would occasionally sit on it when I was in the bathroom. We talked a lot about how some day, when she was bigger, she'd go potty on the potty instead of in her diapers. She liked to talk about it but would only do it very sporadically. Then this week I asked her if she wanted to wear underwear and she said yes. She's had them on all week and only had two accidents (one the first day and one the second).

She got her first tooth at 4 months, walked at nine months. Potty training was about the only thing that took her longer to learn, but it certainly was not something I had to work at. It might have been tougher for her because she visits her father every other weekend and he has been trying to 'train' her the past 10 months to use the potty by giving her M&M's. I'm sure she's a bit confused!

I believe in following their lead in allowing them to figure out what needs to be done and when. I figure her father's been working at it for 10 months and I haven't been doing much and she learned when she wanted to learn anyway!
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my opinion, is it is hard , nasty and time consuming, but necessary.

my son is almost 3 years old and we just started...................

we put cloth training pants on each morning at 8am and keep them on until 6pm........................he pees on the floor about 5x per day, and he pees on the pot about 3x per day.

he NEVER volunteers to pee, i always have to talk him into it.

it sucks

but, i'll be happy when we are done.

i dont think my kids would EVER learn on their own, , except maybe for senior prom.
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