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How often do you argue with your DP/DH?

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Discussion Starter #1
Just curious really. My DP and I argue FAR more often than I'd like- at least once a week one of us is upset about something. Tonight it's my fault- I "issued an ultimatum" and "threatened" to call a repair person to fix the washing machine that's been leaking for two month +.<br><br>
The nerve of me.<br><br>
And FTR- I *thought* I was offering in a sincere, kind way and from a gentle place. I told him that I wanted to get it fixed and that if he wasn't into it or didn't have the time that I'd just call someone. Our finances aren't tied together in a way that it would have been any big issue that I was paying a repair bill.<br><br>
Sigh.
 

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We have been together for over 2 years, and the only fight or argument we had wasnt really even that. We were discussing something philosophical, and I didnt agree with him. It must have made him upset, because we went over to my sister for dinner and he wasnt talking to me. It really hit a nerve, because as we were walking home, him still giving me the silent treatment, I started to cry, and he apologized, said it was silly, and we made up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Thats been the extent of us fighting.
 

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I voted "hardly ever." We just don't argue much maybe because we tend to be on the same wavelength most of the time.
 

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We argue a lot, like maybe every ten minutes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> but it's good-natured disagreement. Assertive communication, ya know? Friendly bickering, or the ordinary impatience that comes with having newborn twins and a toddler and way too much work. We only rarely have angry arguments, though. Maybe once a month but probably less.
 

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I answered weekly, but if I had more energy and saw him more it would probably be more than that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">. By argue, I mean just not agreeing on something and one of us trying to convince the other of their opinion. I can't remember the last real knock-'em-down-drag-'em-out fight that we had. Once again, quite possibly due to the lack of energy having a 1-year old and a 3-year old.<br><br>
Dh and I are both opinionated and I'm the only one who will ever back down from ANYTHING and I get really tired of that, so it certainly sets the stage for disagreements.
 

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I voted "other" because I didn't know how to answer. DH and I "argue" all the time, kidding with eachother but it's all in fun and we laugh about it. But it's rarely ever a serious argument and we never yell.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Llyra</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7983686"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We argue a lot, like maybe every ten minutes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> but it's good-natured disagreement. Assertive communication, ya know? Friendly bickering, or the ordinary impatience that comes with having newborn twins and a toddler and way too much work. We only rarely have angry arguments, though. Maybe once a month but probably less.</div>
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Yeah, I put daily. I think we "argue" in a way that is just part of our relationship. It's not because we're angry, it's just how we are.<br><br>
Now how often do we FIGHT... I'd say once a month... same time every month... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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well maybe not argue... but bicker... we do that ALL THE TIME! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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We don't argue. We agree on just about everything. Sometimes I bicker about stupid things, though. I was just bickering that he put a poopy sposie in the upstairs bathroom garbage. I have severe nausea and vomiting (I'm pregnant) and that was the only room in the house that didn't make me sick. I go in there and... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/inthet.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="inthet">
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Whew! Nice to see that we're not the only grumpy couple around. We're both stubborn too- so our disagreements tend to carry on longer than they really need to.<br><br>
I haven't actually spoken to him today yet- probably won't either. This is made easier because he worked this morning/afternoon, and I'm at work now until tomorrow morning. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I caved and called him last night and we worked it out. Thank goodness! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> It sucks when it's such a stupid argument and neither of you will back down!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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A couple arguments per week right now. We're stressed and sleep deprived and there are some things in our household that need changing. We used to squabble like, once a month at most pre-child. But it's getting better now because we have realized some of the things stressing us out CAN be changed and we're working on it.
 

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I vote monthly. They are usually very calm (no one raises voices) and pretty civil. Is that still considered an arguement? We never fight.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I guess for me an argument is any time there is a discussion that involves unhappy feelings, especially if any type of passive-aggressive snarkiness comes out of it. I don't generally think of it as an argument if this is resolved or clarified within the conversation.<br><br>
Generally DP and I don't raise our voices during an argument, but we both know that we're upset and well, arguing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I voted 2 times a month, that seems pretty average.<br><br>
It really depends. Some months we won't, but other months we will snap at each other more than we should probably.<br><br>
As for full out fights...the "Sleep on the effing couch" varity...maybe once or twice a year.
 

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We've been together over eight years. We have had no more than five arguements. And these are more like heated discussions/debates. I can't remember the last time.
 

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We argue a lot. Not so much angry arguing, more like teasing or sassing or getting irritated or mis-comunication.<br><br>
Personally, I feel that it keeps him on his toes and entertained. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I voted "hardly ever". I don't really remember if we've ever actually <i>argued</i> about anything (we've been together almost exactly 7 years). We have occasional little "spats", usually when I take something he said the wrong way and snap at him. Usually, he just gets quiet and lets me settle down. Once or twice, he's made me angrier by saying "chill out". I <i>hate</i> being told to chill out when I'm PO'd about something.<br><br>
We've had a lot of ongoing issues, mostly revolving around my c-section related PTSD, depression and desire for another child (the one we're expecting in November!!). But, we don't argue about that stuff - just try to work things out so that we're both happy the outcome.
 
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