Mothering Forum banner

average times per month you have sex

  • less than once

    Votes: 137 18.8%
  • once

    Votes: 98 13.4%
  • twice

    Votes: 93 12.8%
  • three times

    Votes: 86 11.8%
  • four times

    Votes: 85 11.7%
  • more than 4

    Votes: 230 31.6%
61 - 80 of 244 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
294 Posts
Lots of variation ( in frequency)
here.
On depo, maybe once a year! I think that might be the secret behind its success as a contraceptive!

Off depo, several times a week, or several times a day on a weekend. Of course, the kids are older now.
I have been here over a year, have never touted any particular "remedy," but for those of you experiencing painful intercourse, I highly recommend the book "Sex as Nature Intended It," forget the author at the moment, as widespead male circumcision in the US has altered our lives in this area. Worth considering.
Tracy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
123 Posts
Oh yeah- Dong Quai is great!

And my DH is 'natural'- and I much, much prefer the uncircumsized pecker. Much less soreness. I made certain my sons are uncut- they can mutilate themselves when they're adults if they want to...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,570 Posts
I feel like the luckiest one here!

Every day for me, sometimes twice a day, including my whole pregnancy! After delivery, waited 2 weeks because I had lots of internal tearing and stitches, but after that it was all back to normal!

I coudn't imagine going only once a week, much less once a month!

Plus, DD sleeps as soon as we start. I think she's so used to it by now, what with having to hear it constantly from in utero.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,696 Posts
ok....it's funny we were just talking about this yesterday....We have sex maybe everyother day, Dh thinks he is deprived! It goes in flow with my monthly cycle....2 weeks i really want to, 1 week I can be talked in to it, 1 week I don't care. I have found too that my 30s have been really great!!!!! I look forward to my 40s....:LOL but maybe it'll kill me then! My 80 yr old gramma says senior citizens do it like crazy....hmmm....
I think that since I have become a momma I feel much more in touch with my body and much less inhibited about the whole sex thing. I mean, what screams "I DID IT" more than a huge belly?!? :LOL nothing says been lovin' like somethin in the oven.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
In the first year I did'nt really care if we did or not.This last month though,has been nuts,DH is gone all week so that kind of sucks but when he gets home on the wekends LOOKOUT
.I tell him he can't keep up to me he says he's out of practice,I say he's just getting"older"(he!he!he!)
I wonder if good old mother nature is trying to tell us something like"maybe it's time for another babe!!?"Who knows,I geuss we'll wait and see!!

Lori
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,515 Posts
I went on Depo when we first got married 6 years ago. Stopped the shot after less than a year and still haven't go my libido back. Maybe I can sue
:

Dh thinks he is very, very deprived. I can go weeks and not notice, but if he is out of town I want it as soon as he is back. He also likes a little more, um,.. spice? than I prefer so that is one of our ongoing debates. I am trying really hard to be be better. We probably do it an average 6-8 times a month.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
857 Posts
I voted twice a month, but it REALLY varies. DD just turned two, so I tried to average it out over that period. We have gone as long as six weeks without, when I feel depressed I simply cannot have sex. Even when I'm feeling better, my desire is a lot less than before baby. Is that because I'm still nursing? Will I ever get my libido back?

One other question for nursing mothers out there - are your breasts totally non-sexual now, or what? I used to really enjoy the fondling and nipple-stimulation DH used to employ during foreplay, etc. Now, I wear a bra 24 hrs/day, even during sex, so DH knows they're "off-limits." For those nursing mothers who managed to actually wean for any significant length of time, did your breasts ever resume their sexual nature? I mean, my breasts seem to have lost all sexual sensitivity...is it lost and gone forever????!!!!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,502 Posts
Paula Bear~

It seemed for me, that when I was nursing, my breasts were very "non-sexual" and I didn't like them being touched, etc.

After my ds weaned himself, I got my sex drive back and slowly my breasts became "sexual" again and a part of our lovemaking.

Warmly~

Lisa
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
We have sex at least 5 to 6 times a week. My husband thinks that it isnt enough. I do. Ever since I had my daughter kimberly i havent had the energy to. I have a 3 year old as well. So I have very busy days running after them and doing the housework and also I am in a non profit club. I just want to take my pillow and go to sleep. But if we do not have it as often as 5 to 6 times a week my husband gets very moody and we have fought about it in the past too,
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
I was the happy, horny mother of a four year old before our new little guy was born two weeks ago. We had loads of sex during pregnancy, all was well, and now I am quite scared! We have the baby in bed with us, which I love and have no desire to give up and wouldn't. I am also still in my "4-6 week period" after the birth when sex is not suggested (my three stitches from a tear make me fine with this) but when will we ever have sex after this?!? I truly do feel a loss...I love making love to my husband whenever and whereever. I don't WANT to have to "get creative" and do it in the kitchen all the time and whatnot. I'm not opposed to making love with our son in bed with us but I just don't know what life will be like. It's been drastically altered.

Now, my husband is not my first son's father...his dad and I NEVER had sex and that was a major bummer for me...it was his choice, however. With my husband--the love of my life--I don't want this part of our life to leave so soon...

I know I'm being paranoid. Neither of us have suffered any diminishment of our desire, so I shouldn't worry yet...we just need to adjust to our new life as parents of an infant.

Scary, scary! I love all my boys...I hope I don't sound like a bad mommy.


Love,
Min
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7 Posts
Quote:
Originally posted by Erin Pavlina
Shoot, we're having sex every 2 to 3 days! I keep telling my husband how good he's got it, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks we "barely have enough sex."

Sheesh.

I have sex w/ my partener every 2 ta 3 days too
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
Well, we did it. Jumped the gun (as I am still having a teeny bit of bleeding almost four weeks after the birth) and gloriously fornicated in front of our fireplace on the floor. Oh my gosh, it was great! Then again the next morning. It feels better than it did before I got pregnant! Is that possible?? I think it might be my imagination. How liberating to actually be able to MOVE during sex, without this giant belly in front of me.

However, now I have all sorts of weird stuff coming out...I think I should have listened to my midwife about waiting a little longer. Sorry to gross anyone out. Should I be worried? I don't feel any pain. I just noticed an increase in bleeding.

THEN, of course, I worried about getting pregnant. Discussed the contraceptive benefits of breastfeeding with my LLL group and learned that many ladies got their periods as soon as four months postpartum, even while tandem nursing two kids. Yikes! (With my first, it was 11 months.)

THEN, I had an even more shocking revelation that I wouldn't mind getting pregnant again SOON, even with two boys at home and a fairly blech pregnancy the second time around.

Never mind the fact that, if my husband touches me in even a remotely sexual way while I'm nursing our baby, I flip out and feel totally claustrophobic.

Aah, this is all weird...



Love,
Mindy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
117 Posts
Is that insane? We've been together 2 years and still nothing. It's definately affecting our sex life. At this point I'm beginning to think it doesnt matter to him whether I enjoy it or not. Which is actually really out of character for him. He's a very caring sensitive man. I'm stumped. And every time I've tried to discuss it with him he gets *really* defensive. Someone tell me I'm not alone. Can you have a happy lasting marriage even if the sex bores you to tears?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,323 Posts
Quote:
Can you have a happy lasting marriage even if the sex bores you to tears?
Not in my opinion. I think it's fine if you don't get off all the time but NEVER? Did he ever get you off? Were you/ are you sexually attracted to him? It's really hard to play armchair psychologist here and I am not going to try. All I can say is you deserve to have an enjoyable sex life. It is not the most important thing in a relationship but it is still important and it sounds like you are getting nothing out of yours.
This is definately something I would seek counseling for. How long can you be with someone when you are not getting your needs met? It's not fair. He'll just have to get over his defensiveness. If he is as nice as you say he is, then he should want to find a solution to this problem.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
20 Posts
I couldn't, personally, have a happy marriage without a great sex life. I sort of tried the alternative, although I wasn't married to my first son's father. We were together for 3 years and it is a miracle our son was ever conceived. He lost all interest in me sexually (until I left him, at which point, he claimed he just didn't want to have sex with me unless I was on the pill...roll of eyes). He was in his forties and I was in my very early 20s and it was a major source of frustration, especially because I AM loyal and not inclined to run off and get my kicks elsewhere.

Lately, I heard some cheesy play on words: Is it a marriage, or a mirage? Before and after children, the marriage will still be there, and it must remain healthy and mutually supportive. It sounds like there are other issues in your relationship (his lack of communication, for instance) that are manifesting in your sex life, and those must be resolved.

In the meantime, sure, I suppose you can have a happy, healthy marriage with a crummy sex life and be fine with it...but I will personally vouch for the alternative and I would never, ever trade it. It means so much to know that not only are my husband and I deeply attracted to one another's mind and soul but that we still can't keep our hands off each other either!
(Please forgive me if any of this sounds insensitive...I just want you to be happy.)

Love,
Mindy

P.S. I did not, by the way, break up with father #1 because of the sex life (or lack thereof) but because of the underlying issues causing the situation. The lack of sex was merely symptomatic of much greater issues.
 
61 - 80 of 244 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top