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Usually I nurse our 7 mo old dd to sleep at night. She'll usually take a morning nap ok but I usually have to lay down with her and nurse her to get her to take her afternoon nap. The last month or two it's been getting harder and harder to get her to sleep. I think she's just about ready to crawl. No teeth yet. If I nurse her and she still won't sleep, I sometimes ask dh to try getting her to sleep by rocking her or singing to her. I know she's not still hungry because she's fed well and then is just playing.<br><br>
He is just so resistant to it - thinks she HAS TO be nursed to sleep or else she must still be hungry. He gets angry, screams, slams doors - tonight he stomped out to the kitchen saying if I wouldn't feed her, he was giving her water in the cup (he tried, she wouldn't take it), threatened to leave her to CIO (he wouldn't). I'm so tired of his attitude.<br><br>
Anyone got any ideas how to encourage him to take responsibility? and to get past the idea that crying+not sleeping = hungry?
 

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My dh and I would take turns with the kids. He'd walk the child around the dark house, and we'd trade off... ie, I'd nurse or walk, hand the child back, he'd take a turn, etc.<br>
He now brings both of them up to bed with him at 8pm. and puts them to sleep. My DD is 3 1/2 and my DS is 15 months. It does get easier! Now I have hours of alone time before bed every night. I even go out at night because he's in charge of nighttime parenting<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Seems like no big deal, but it took me 3 1/2 years to get to this point!
 

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My husband doesn't get the baby to sleep. Mostly, it's because he works nights which means he is gone from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. ! I nurse my 3 1/2 month old to sleep. There has been a rare occasion where my DH comforts the baby and he falls asleep in DH's arms but even then, the little guy awakens shortly after. I'm the one who does the bedtime routine but again, it's because I'm the one who is consistently at home. Sometimes I get sick of being the only one dealing with the sleep issues but then I realize I'm the one who is also experiencing the joys of nursing and co-sleeping! I don't have any good suggestions on how to get him involved other than help him realize what a good bonding time this is. My DH gets more involved when he thinks the baby is connecting with him. It's harder for my DH (and maybe yours?) to feel bonded with the baby and sometimes he gets frustrated and maybe even bored with the bed time routines and baby care tasks.
 

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Thank heavens!<br><br>
Well, when Riley was first born, we probably took turns more, but as soon as she was a few months old, he took over bedtime. He really seemed to have a knack for it and I was usually so exhausted by bedtime it just made sense.<br><br>
He "invented" the special Daddy arm jiggle (which to this day I *insist* I just *cannot* do :LOL ) So, I'd get her all fed and ready, hand her off to him and he'd "jiggle" her to sleep and put her down. Later, after she sort of out grew that, he'd take her in the room and lay down in bed with her until she fell asleep. Now (she's 2) he still reads her books and rocks her every night and carries her to bed. It's very sweet.<br><br>
It makes sense to me--I'm with her all day. He gets home around 6:30 or 7 and her bedtime is 8:30. What else is he going to do with her?<br><br>
Maybe approaching it in a positive way would help? Like, talking about how much easier it will be when the baby is older if they don't need to be nursed to sleep...how you can spend more time with dh, how he has a special "knack" for getting baby down, etc... Just a thought. Sorry your dh is being a pill....does he maybe feel inadequate?
 

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I get dd to sleep every single night because it is so hard to do and nursing usually works eventually...that said-sometimes dh wears dd in the sling and sometimes that works too..<br><br>
my dh thinks every time that dd cries she is hungry no matter how many times I tell him that she has just been fed and can't possibly be hungry. Sometimes I list him the other reasons she might be crying.<br><br>
It sounds like your dh is frustrated when your baby cries and maybe he feels like he doesn't know how to get her to stop crying. Does he spend time with the baby when she is awake? I found that really helped my dh get to know dd a bit better and give him some more confidance. Maybe you could start by having dh participate in a part of your bedtime routine if you have one so that she gets used to him being there at bedtime.<br><br>
It is frustrating for me being the only one to get dd to sleep every night, but I have mostly brought it on myself by doing it all the time!<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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i'm just glad to see i'm not alone here! sorry you're in the same boat, though.<br><br>
my youngest just turned 9 mos & i have been the only one to put her down, ever. she nurses to sleep for every nap & every night. dh thinks this is exclusively my territory & says he'll be involved when she's older & not nursing every time. in his defense, he is *very* involved w/our two older girls. but he's another who thinks that every cry means hunger, or that even if she's not hungry, that the boob will soothe her faster than anything he can do.
 

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I work once a week at night and that is the only time dh puts Johanna to bed. When I get home and ask him, "How'd it go?" He sighs the most exhaustive of sighs and tell me all about the hard time he had putting her to bed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: Nothing out of the ordinary but he thinks he just worked so hard. It is expected of me but when he does it it is a more of a challenge, somehow.
 

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When I am at school in the mornings DH gets DS to sleep for his naps. This started when DS was 9 months old. All they do is lay on the bed together, looking at the ceiling, listening to noises outside, watching shadows, and DH uses his most 'seductive man voice' (slow, low-pitch, steady). It works.<br><br>
For DD, my dad started getting her to sleep for naps when she was 4 months old. They just hung out on the rocking chair for a while and she would sleep. At first it was more difficult and took a lot of walking, but within a month it was just a matter of sitting down together. When we night-weaned DD (I was pregnant and feeling over-touched at night) DH started caring for her in the middle of the night. She was 15 months at the time. It took less than a week for that to work, and soon she was used to falling back to sleep with daddy in the middle of the night.<br><br>
It is total BS that whenever a baby cries he is hungry. Just tell your DH the next time he starts throwing a fit - gee, you look upset, are you hungry? Well - DC is upset, too - and maybe HE'S NOT HUNGRY EITHER!
 

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My dh has put my son to bed 2 times...and ds is 16 months old. Tracy freaks out if it isn't me and dh loses patience easy when ds screams because he wants me.....<br><br>
I'm hoping with this babe we'll do somethings different and he'll do a little more. If it is possible I think my dh had ppd. For the first couple months he would barely look at him...I think dh was feeling neglected.... but he is over that now.<br><br>
I think as they get older thigns get easier with kids and daddies.....at least it is that way in our house....
 

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My DH has a much easier time getting our DS to bed than I do. He wants to nurse and nurse and nurse and then he gets silly and keeps sitting up and running away. For DH he fusses for a minute or so and lays calmly and goes to sleep in his arms. So, we trade off nights.
 
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