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How old for the birds and the bees?

542 Views 10 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  sillymommaX2
Do your children know the facts yet? Have they asked? How much have you told them, and what are your reasons for making the choices you made about how much info to share?

My daughter (6 1/2) has known about eggs and sperm for a long time, but has begun asking how the two get together inside the mom.

Cute note: When asked to imagine how it happens, she giggles and says, "This is kind of funny, but I picture the mom and dad putting their tushies together!"

Anyway, a bunch of you recommended the book "It's So Amazing!" which I ordered and think is wonderful, but I'm not going to read ALL of it to her at this point. It's funny how you can think you're so comfortable with this stuff and then find out that when you actually start reading the book out loud, certain parts make you squirm. I find myself thinking, "Does she really need to know all about menstruation now? Is it necessary for her to know about how boys' bodies change during puberty?"

It's not that I think there's something wrong with her knowing, but boy, that shame we grew up with sure runs deep, doesn't it???

So what's been your experience? Any advice? Anything in particular regarding this book?
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I generally answered questions as they were asked. All of my children were introduced to the concept of menstruation when they were still in diapers- specifically when following me into the bathroom while I was menstruating! I'm not familiar with that particular book though.
I think it's fine to stick with the parts of the book that you think are more where she is at right now. My kids got the facts bit by bit, as they asked and as it just happened to come up, over the years rather than in one big "talk". We were very open and honest about all of it though. My teen feels comfortable talking about things like masturbation and the like so I figure we did something OK somewhere

Ive heard of the egg being likened to a special seed that grows in the mommy. As far as how they get together, well IMO there is no other way than to just be out with how it happens: The penis goes into the vagina. We've been really comfy with those terms since the kids were very little, but I can see how it's a difficult thing for some. Hang in there and good for you for doing it at all, because I know many parents that don't discuss it or who think it can wait for the teen years.
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I'm one that recommended the book. I bought it when I was expecting my last babe (the older two were 10 and 8), but they pretty much knew the basics already just because we're so open about everything.

Like Ruth said, mine have known about menstruation just from coming in the bathroom with me (I haven't went potty alone for 12 years! :LOL )

Funny, I was questioning my older DS when I was pregnant with the babe, just to see how much he knew and he told me if I didn't know that stuff, I should go ask MY mother.
At least he knows what mothers are for.
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My son is only 22mos, but I've warned dh that he's probably going to ask questions sooner than later! :LOL We've decided to also answer questions as they come, and we'll probably decide on an age to talk about it, just in case he doesn't ask!! With the "maturity" level of kids these days starting so young, it's definitely better to be prepared!
Oh good topic, lol. My oldest is 9 and he knows about things such as menstruation and miscarriages (surprisingly he got this from school UGH). He doesnt know about the act of sex, etc and I did not know when I should tell him. We avoided it when he was younger and asking how the baby got in my belly. We should have handled it then
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I bought that book for ds when I was pg with dd. He was only 4.5 at the time. We sat together on the couch and he held the book. He would turn the pages and ask me any questions he had about what he saw in the book. When he was done he'd turn the page and move on. I never actually read it TO him, not yet anyway. I let him thumb through it at his own pace and answered any questions (honestly but simply) that he had. He looked through the whole thing but only asked about what interested him. I imagine the other parts, along with more details, will come up when he's ready. The book is on his shelf available whenever he wants to look at it.
I really feel that I should start talking with DD about this as well but don't know how. I don't mind doing it but it makes me nervous for one reason. What if she likes the idea and lets someone touch her ect. She loves the idea of being a mommy and I just worry that she's be willing to do whatever she thought would make a baby. Of course, she's only 5 but about to start school. That makes me nervous as well as I have some deep seeded trust issues. We've had the talk about who is allowed to touch her and what to do if she is made to feel uncomfortable no matter who it is. Ideas? I don't want her going to kinder and educating the other kids whos parents weren't ready for this but I want her to hear this from me.
Well we read most of the book over the past couple of days, and I got nervous in parts but she was so unfazed by it. In fact, she responded to the part that says how the man and woman show they love each other by "hugging and kissing and getting very close, so close that the man's penis goes inside the woman's vagina" (great wording!) by saying, "You mean babies come from LOVE???? That's so nice!!!!"

I like the fact that the book stresses the responsibility part and actually makes a point of saying that sex is not something children do, and that there are lots of kinds of love that have nothing to do with sex.

Anyway, thanks all, for your input.
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I am also not familiar with this book but it sounds really cool!!!

I made the big mistake when she was younger and gave a half truth at a question she asked, and it upset her so badly that I thought she would never get over it, and ever since then I have been nothing but honest with her.

As for me, I just answered DD questions as they came. And really they all came at once so we went to the library together and picked a book. I read it to her that night and asked if she had any questions. She fired away and together we found that section of the book, and I answered her question a little more in depth. I then left the book with her and told her she could look at it anytime she wanted for the next 2 weeks and if she had anymore questions to come ask. She came to me over the next few days with a few small questions and then the novelty wore off

The one thing I really liked about the book we picked is it stressed at the end that you don't share this info with your friends. If they asked the child questions the child was supposed to tell them to go talk to their mommy or daddy. And I liked that as my DD was the oldest at her babysitter and I feared for weeks that she would teach all the 2-6 year olds all about the birds and the bees. About 6 months later she came to me and said "so and so at school asked me how you make babies, and I told them to ask their mom!!!" I was so proud!!!

Darn I wish I could remember which book it was.
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I was wondering when also. DD is 7 and has not asked a single question about it. And we just had a baby 3 months ago. She thinks each time you have a baby you have to get married again!
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