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When should the child be out of the "family bed"?

  • Under age 2

    Votes: 6 10.9%
  • 2-3

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  • 3-5

    Votes: 9 16.4%
  • over 6

    Votes: 11 20.0%
  • Never too old!

    Votes: 19 34.5%
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    Votes: 5 9.1%
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Well, my daughter is turning 6 in less than 2 months, and she is still in our bed, at least most of the time. She hasn't always been in there, but she had surgery a few months ago, and is back for now.
:
 

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I only coslept for the first year, with all of mine. However, that was because of my health and my personal tolerance levels. I don't think by any means that a year old is "too old" to cosleep. I think I'm comfortable with cosleeping with opposite gender parents and siblings until the beginning of puberty, at which point I think it should stop, mostly because of the danger of the cosleeping being misunderstood by outsiders. I'm comfortable with same-gender cosleeping at any age. I do think that cosleeping naturally ends when a child is ready, and from what I've read and heard, for most kiddos that comes between 3 and 7 years old, which is a wide range.
 

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I said never too old but I can't make that decision for our own family since my DH would leave me if I stuck with that. If you have a supportive husband, go for it. Mine thinks we're not co-sleeping past 9 months. I hope he changes his mind...it breaks my heart that my daughter moved out at 2 1/2 and I think it really broke part of our bond.
 

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I don't think it can be a preset age-determined thing. I think you need to do what works for your family at any time, so if it's a year, two, or five years, it's going to be different for all.
 

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For us it is determined by the individual child. I didn't know I could cosleep with DD1 so I didn't, but I did with DS. He was easy to move into a crib (such a restless sleeper!) at about 5-6 months old. With DD2 I planned on moving her into a crib by 12 months. That didn't happen. We did finally get her moved to a mattress by our bed and then a toddler bed next to us. Now she is 3 and spends most of the night in her toddler bed in our room. Sometimes it's the whole night and sometimes she moves in with me toward morning.
We'd like her in the same room with her sister, but for a few reasons it's not going to happen yet.
I have no set plan for DS2 coming in August. Moving out sooner would be nice, but he's welcome for as long as he needs it.
 

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It kind of depends on your definition of co-sleep. My 4 year old DD's bed is next to our bed in our room and she'll stay there as long as she wants to. But I can't imagine still having all 3 of us in a queen size bed.
 

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I just moved my 15 mo old DD into her own crib. I am mixed- happy that she sleeps 7 consecutive hours !!!! and to have room in bed, but I truly ache from missing snuggling her all night.
I'd hoped to co-sleep at least until she was 2, but she doesn't sleep well so close to the milk wagon. I hope that when she is older she will come snuggle in bed when she needs me... until then I'll come to her.
 

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We hope to transfer DS to his own bed eventually. I'm guessing he'll probably be ready around 3ish, but I really have no way of knowing how he'll feel about it. So I guess it really just depends on when he is ready and what our family looks like at the time. Right now we're all happy as clams with our family bed.
 

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DD1 still sleeps with one parent or another many nights and she is 6. We are fine with it, she still needs the closeness. Heck, even my mom co-sleeps with her when DD1 stays with her.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Llyra View Post
I only coslept for the first year, with all of mine. However, that was because of my health and my personal tolerance levels. I don't think by any means that a year old is "too old" to cosleep. I think I'm comfortable with cosleeping with opposite gender parents and siblings until the beginning of puberty, at which point I think it should stop, mostly because of the danger of the cosleeping being misunderstood by outsiders. I'm comfortable with same-gender cosleeping at any age. I do think that cosleeping naturally ends when a child is ready, and from what I've read and heard, for most kiddos that comes between 3 and 7 years old, which is a wide range.

hmm, smells like assumed heterosexuality.....?

I answered never too old. I have a good friend whose daughter was more comfortable cosleeping with her mom (a lesbian btw) until her teens. My son if five and I have no time limit, puberty or otherwise. Though I am sure he will probably choose to sleep in his own bed all the time at some point. My point is that same gender, opposite gender, puberty, etc, makes some assumptions about who we are as parents, who our children are, and I am not comfortable with that. So for example, is it okay for me as a lesbian to sleep with my son at any age because I am a lesbian, or is it a problem because we are opposite gender? See what I mean?
 
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