My ex isn't the brightest when it comes to things like that either.
I hope yours gets a clue.
It's hard.
I hope yours gets a clue.
It's hard.
how stupid is he??
okay so stbx took ds this morning and just dropped him off half an hour ago.. and since i fed him breakfast i wanted to make sure he ate lunch. so I ask stbx what he fed him for lunch and he said "a corndog...well only the hotdog part" right so you don't give him the part he probably won't choke on for the part he probably would choke on. I didn't want to ask him how he cut it up (i am envisioning him just handing the hot dog stick and all to my 13 month old) but what I did do was almost worse. I immediately said "EXCUSE ME?!?!?" In a horrified tone of voice (i couldn't stop it if i tried) and he immediately flipped out and started yelling about how he'll just feed caleb baby food since he doens't know what i feed him and he's sick of hearing me b#$&tch at him about it. he went on and on and i just got so mad.
what I got out of the exchange was a couple of things:
1.) he hasn't got enough brains to think "he's not going to be able to chew that up since all his teeth are in the front of his mouth"
2.) it is MORE important that HE not get b*tched out then that his son not choke and die.
and i'm planning on leaving my son with him tomorrow during my orientation. oh boy....
what I got out of the exchange was a couple of things:
1.) he hasn't got enough brains to think "he's not going to be able to chew that up since all his teeth are in the front of his mouth"
2.) it is MORE important that HE not get b*tched out then that his son not choke and die.
and i'm planning on leaving my son with him tomorrow during my orientation. oh boy....
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I couldn't agree more with this statement.
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot My ex isn't the brightest when it comes to things like that either. I hope yours gets a clue. It's hard. |
It's hard...perhaps some info from a doctor's office or wic would help, about healthy/appropriate first baby foods? Sometimes I send along those little cups of fruit...they've got corn syrup, but it's still better than a lot of other stuff out there...
Hope it gets better and good luck at your orientation...
Hope it gets better and good luck at your orientation...
Quote:
Oh man. That, IMO, is THE hardest thing about co-parenting. And ds' dad and I generally get along well.
It galls me that he thinks that my attempts to address safety issues with him is about my alleged need to control him as opposed to being about our son's safety.
Hope it gets better. Maybe rehearsing some ways of reacting might help? Because it will undoubtedly come up again in some form or another.
Originally Posted by CalebsMama05 2.) it is MORE important that HE not get b*tched out then that his son not choke and die. |
It galls me that he thinks that my attempts to address safety issues with him is about my alleged need to control him as opposed to being about our son's safety.
Hope it gets better. Maybe rehearsing some ways of reacting might help? Because it will undoubtedly come up again in some form or another.
GRRRR! (I would bang my head against the wall but my smilies don't work) How unfortunate that you have to continue to work with him if he won't listen. Have you ever heard of NVC? (non violent communication) It may be a way of communicating with him so that *all* of your needs get met. I've found it to be very useful in communicating with others who may not agree with me (though it is very hard in the heat of anger)
I'm sorry you had to go through that and i hope you are able to get through your orientation without worrying too much.
((((hugs))))
I'm sorry you had to go through that and i hope you are able to get through your orientation without worrying too much.
((((hugs))))
thanks girls. the hardest part is that he overreacts about everything. I try so hard to stay calm because no matter how calm i am he WILL flip out if i tell him he hardly gets to see caleb anymore these days, he will flip out if i tell him i know i promised to loan him $20 but caleb has needs and i just can't do it etc.
I didn't want to dump on him anymore b/cuz its so hard to communicate right now as it is...without him constantly blaming me for everything wrong in his life.
I honestly didn't mean to react so strongly (although i didn't react as strongly outside as i did inside iykwim) but it is just such a huge fear of mine (hotdogs and caleb choking on them) and he knew that but he didn't remember because it doesn't matter to him.
I didn't want to dump on him anymore b/cuz its so hard to communicate right now as it is...without him constantly blaming me for everything wrong in his life.
I honestly didn't mean to react so strongly (although i didn't react as strongly outside as i did inside iykwim) but it is just such a huge fear of mine (hotdogs and caleb choking on them) and he knew that but he didn't remember because it doesn't matter to him.
I'm sorry
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Perhaps you could make a list of Caleb's favorite (safe) foods? Present it in a non-confrontational way ("hey, I made a list of Caleb's favorite foods for his Grandma. I thought you might like a copy too" or something like that). After a little while my ex finally got lazy enough and asked me to start packing DS a snack when he takes him. It cost me money, but I gladly did it for my peace of mind (in my case it was ex feeding ds foods he was allergic to).
I'm pretty sure you can get those little fruit cups without the corn syrup (the mandarin oranges, at least, not sure about the others b/c ds doesn't eat any of the rest). You can do little applesauce cups (motts makes a natural one with no crap added).
I'm pretty sure you can get those little fruit cups without the corn syrup (the mandarin oranges, at least, not sure about the others b/c ds doesn't eat any of the rest). You can do little applesauce cups (motts makes a natural one with no crap added).
before my X got a reasonable girlfriend with common sense, I would pack a lunch for my dd. "Here X, I put some of dd's favorite foods in here, it'll probably be easier than having to buy something" [big smile].
He usually took it hook line and sinker
good luck
He usually took it hook line and sinker
good luck
I sent a number of dd1 favorite snack foods over to X's apartment.. so at least I know he might think to give them to her or at least have something to give to her... he lives in a pig-stye
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