[sharon71]

Someone when they ask "why do you care how I feed my child,Why do you care if I never breastfeed,what difference does it make and how is it hurting you,your child or anyone else"?

What do you say to these ppl how do you explain the impact that not breastfeeding has on our children and their future.
What about the impact it has on our healthcare?

 

[kozmickreations05]

Why dont you in return ask them why THEY dont care?

 

[octobermom]

I haven't figured out this myself. On one hand I'm a huge BF advocate and will encourage everyone but at the same time. I dont want to be pushed by formula companies even when I did need some help I didn't want to be pushed. I didn't need lectures or guilt trips eaither way and I guess if I expect my rights as a breastfeeding mother to be respected I need to be careful of how much I do say. Oh the other hand I'm not afraid to say YEs there are very real reasons to breastfeed and yes it can have a world impact.

 

[rozzie'sma]

How is it hurting someone else. Well I tend to think the child is being hurt. Denied living milk, antibodies, fatty acids, increased chance of obesity, diabetes, cancer. 800 babies a year die to ff, that seems like alot of somebodies get hurt to me. Increased chance of cancer in the mother as well, How many people would be hurt if she died? Not saying those things will happen if you ff, but if you can decrease the chances why wouldn't you?

 

[sharon71]

Oh I have asked why they don't care.I've shown them the studies,the information,etc but to them formula is "just as good" so why bother.

:
What kind amazes me is these same moms who don't think it has an impact on heathcare or our children freakout and can't understand why so many parents decide not to vaccinate.They worry about their vaccinated child catching something from a non-vaccinated child but yet they choose not to breastfeed.

 

[elanorh]

I care because I will be paying into a medical system which has to support the babies raised on formula as they deal with diabetes etc.

I care because I pay for insurance whose rates are impacted by the disease/infection rates of ff'd infants, as babies and later as adults.

I care because I think every human being has a biological right to best care (no matter where they live), and I find it amazing that something which is essentially FREE as well as the optimal care for a child, would be denied for something substandard which could permanently negatively impact the health of a child.

I care because bf is environmentally friendly - no "packaging," no "manufacturing," no "transportation" of the "product." It's a two-person chain - mom to child. Waaaay less negative environmental impact.

I care because I really think that many women (and their children) would find breastfeeding one of the most enjoyable, empowering part of parenting -- if they would just commit themselves to bfing and DO it.

I care because I think a lot of women who do want to bf, are being given bad information by family, friends, acquaintances, and their HCPs in re: bf, ff, etc. - and ending up failing and feeling guilty about bf when they were in reality sabotaged by others instead.

 

[kwren23]

i pretty much left the mainstream forum i was posting on because i got jumped all over for not vaccinating our little one by the same people who tried to convince me that formula feeding was just as good as breastmilk and that CIO was the only way to get your babies to be less needy. that was bad enough, but if i said anything about how much better bf was for babies i was the one not respecting other peoples parenting choices!

i can never quite figure out how to gently persuade people i dont know irl of the benifits of bf over ff.

: i'll just see if any one of you guys have a good suggestion... (i have trouble being polite, i admit it)

 

[sapphire_chan]

Every woman who could breastfeed, but doesn't perpetuates the myth-lie that breastfeeding is impossible for many women and moves us farther away from a time when those truely in need can get the best possible help.

Every woman who could breastfeed but doesn't perpetuates a culture that views breastfeeding as something abnormal to be shamefully hidden.

Every woman who could breastfeed but doesn't because she has been lied to so that she does not know she can breastfeed unwittingly perpetuates ignorance and misinformation on the part of those who should d*mned well know better. Thank goodness many women come to realize the truth and don't go on to spread the misinformation.

And finally, every woman who could breastfeed but doesn't because of lies and who spreads her lies and the lies of others perpetuates more women not breastfeeding.

 

[KirstenMary]

Why would they even ask you that question in the first place????

 

[sharon71]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KirstenMary Why would they even ask you that question in the first place????

I don't know maybe they feel quilty or something they swear up and down they don't care that we care,they don't feel bad about FF yet come up with tons of excuses as to why they didn't BF and a big one is "because I didn't want to and what business is it of yours,how is it hurting you?"
I feel that if i hear one more it's gross,unnatural,yucky,formula is just as good I'll scream.
I guess if you are confident in the choice you've made great but if you are constantly getting mad and defending your choice to FF maybe you need to look at why you feel this way.

**** General you*****.

****Rant*****
I'm tired of being refered to as a "holier than thou" breastfeeder or any other derogetory name they can come up with.

 

[KirstenMary]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharon71 I don't know maybe they feel quilty or something they swear up and down they don't care that we care,they don't feel bad about FF yet come up with tons of excuses as to why they didn't BF and a big one is "because I didn't want to and what business is it of yours,how is it hurting you?" I feel that if i hear one more it's gross,unnatural,yucky,formula is just as good I'll scream. I guess if you are confident in the choice you've made great but if you are constantly getting mad and defending your choice to FF maybe you need to look at why you feel this way. **** General you*****. ****Rant***** I'm tired of being refered to as a "holier than thou" breastfeeder or any other derogetory name they can come up with.

I honestly stay away from those conversations. We all have choices to make for our own reasons, and sometimes the best reply is no reply.

 

[siobhang]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharon71 Someone when they ask "why do you care how I feed my child,Why do you care if I never breastfeed,what difference does it make and how is it hurting you,your child or anyone else"?

I don't *care* how someone feeds their child. I do *care* that they were able to make a well informed decision about how they feed their child. And I do *care* about how they influence other people to make their own decisions.

But I also recognize that "well informed decision" != "the way I would do things". This is the classic liberal fallacy - if only people knew more/better, they'd make the same decisions I have made.

Unfortunately, people don't work that way - frustratingly so. They have different priorities, different decision making abilities and structures, etc.

So I have to limit my investment in other people's decisions to trying to make sure they have access to accurate information and support. And then let it go.

Siobhan

 

[zinemama]

I would think that anyone who gets asked that question is going about her lactivism in an obnoxious, intrusive, holier-than-thou way.

Not saying you are for sure, OP, but what exactly are you saying to these folks, and what is the situation? I mean, if you're talking to a pregnant woman who is planning to ff and you gently give her some info, that's one thing. But if you're going after people who are already ff and lecturing them on why they shouldn't - what's the point, other than to make them defensive?

 

[muckemom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kozmickreations05 Why dont you in return ask them why THEY dont care?

Is this to mean that women who FF their babes don't care about their children's health?

 

[sharon71]

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinemama I would think that anyone who gets asked that question is going about her lactivism in an obnoxious, intrusive, holier-than-thou way. Not saying you are for sure, OP, but what exactly are you saying to these folks, and what is the situation? I mean, if you're talking to a pregnant woman who is planning to ff and you gently give her some info, that's one thing. But if you're going after people who are already ff and lecturing them on why they shouldn't - what's the point, other than to make them defensive?

I understand that if they're already FF they're not going to change their mind at the moment but possibly may change their mind about future children. I think it's important to get the information.facts and studies out there.I try not to be preachy or pushy but here lately it seems like anytime I or another breastfeeding mother says anything about breastfeeding a formula feeding mom gets all huffy and starts ranting about why she's feeding formula,what does it matter and why do we care it's not hurting anyone else.
I mean it's like you can't even have a decent conversation about breastmilk.
I'm just frustrated and feel I have no where to vent.
Sorry I brought it up.

 

[dukeswalker]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elanorh I care because I will be paying into a medical system which has to support the babies raised on formula as they deal with diabetes etc. I care because I pay for insurance whose rates are impacted by the disease/infection rates of ff'd infants, as babies and later as adults. I care because I think every human being has a biological right to best care (no matter where they live), and I find it amazing that something which is essentially FREE as well as the optimal care for a child, would be denied for something substandard which could permanently negatively impact the health of a child. I care because bf is environmentally friendly - no "packaging," no "manufacturing," no "transportation" of the "product." It's a two-person chain - mom to child. Waaaay less negative environmental impact. I care because I really think that many women (and their children) would find breastfeeding one of the most enjoyable, empowering part of parenting -- if they would just commit themselves to bfing and DO it. I care because I think a lot of women who do want to bf, are being given bad information by family, friends, acquaintances, and their HCPs in re: bf, ff, etc. - and ending up failing and feeling guilty about bf when they were in reality sabotaged by others instead.

 

[LittlePeanut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elanorh I care because I will be paying into a medical system which has to support the babies raised on formula as they deal with diabetes etc. I care because I pay for insurance whose rates are impacted by the disease/infection rates of ff'd infants, as babies and later as adults. I care because I think every human being has a biological right to best care (no matter where they live), and I find it amazing that something which is essentially FREE as well as the optimal care for a child, would be denied for something substandard which could permanently negatively impact the health of a child. I care because bf is environmentally friendly - no "packaging," no "manufacturing," no "transportation" of the "product." It's a two-person chain - mom to child. Waaaay less negative environmental impact. I care because I really think that many women (and their children) would find breastfeeding one of the most enjoyable, empowering part of parenting -- if they would just commit themselves to bfing and DO it. I care because I think a lot of women who do want to bf, are being given bad information by family, friends, acquaintances, and their HCPs in re: bf, ff, etc. - and ending up failing and feeling guilty about bf when they were in reality sabotaged by others instead.

:

 

[sebarnes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elanorh I care because I will be paying into a medical system which has to support the babies raised on formula as they deal with diabetes etc. I care because I pay for insurance whose rates are impacted by the disease/infection rates of ff'd infants, as babies and later as adults. I care because I think every human being has a biological right to best care (no matter where they live), and I find it amazing that something which is essentially FREE as well as the optimal care for a child, would be denied for something substandard which could permanently negatively impact the health of a child. I care because bf is environmentally friendly - no "packaging," no "manufacturing," no "transportation" of the "product." It's a two-person chain - mom to child. Waaaay less negative environmental impact. I care because I really think that many women (and their children) would find breastfeeding one of the most enjoyable, empowering part of parenting -- if they would just commit themselves to bfing and DO it. I care because I think a lot of women who do want to bf, are being given bad information by family, friends, acquaintances, and their HCPs in re: bf, ff, etc. - and ending up failing and feeling guilty about bf when they were in reality sabotaged by others instead.

 

[frontierpsych]

dear elanorh,

Word.

 

[seven_lux]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharon71 I mean it's like you can't even have a decent conversation about breastmilk. I'm just frustrated and feel I have no where to vent. Sorry I brought it up.

Don't be sorry, I opened this thread because I have wondered the same thing myself