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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am wondering how to comfort nurse my 4 week-old when she isn't hungry but wants to suck. I also need tips for knowing if she wants comfort or is hungry. I know that must be so basic but sometimes I'm not sure.<br><br>
We started giving her a pacifier at 3 days old, the day we came home from the hospital, because it seemed like she wanted to suck all the time and couldn't really control her hands. It would have been a long ride home without it. But I'm very conflicted about using a pacifier and we had begun to use it many times everyday since she was 3 days old. Yesterday though we went all day without it. I was happy about that but concernced that she was not getting her sucking needs met. She sucks her hands a little but not as much as she was using the pacifier. Is that good? or am I depriving her? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:<br><br>
She seems frustrated with nursing when she's not hungry. I've read a couple threads here where some mamas suggest lying down flat to suppress milk. What other ways can you comfort nurse so less milk comes out? Lying down is very hard for me (DD size breasts, holding her correctly, inconvenient at times, etc). Also, if anyone has advice about the judicious use of a pacifier, that would be helpful. I'm not sure how to tell when to use it.<br><br>
I'm so confused! HELP!
 

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I've never used a pacifier. I don't know.
 

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I would stop the pasifier use all together and see what she does... i mean if she's happy to suck her hand then there's no problem then but offer the breast and see if she wants to nurse, but if not and she's very very upset then offer the passifier if you feel ok with that... i would just follow her ques, my second child used a passi when she 2 days old till about 2 weeks then she didn't really care for it anymore and figured out how to comfort nurse... so it might just take a couple days for her to be able to get the hang of it... HTH
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>prophetmother</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks...Can anyone tell me though HOW to comfort nurse without her getting milk? or is it even possible?</div>
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uh, that's not up to you, it's up to the baby! :LOL<br>
If baby wants to comfort nurse, they usually do a fluttery motion with their tongue instead of how they would regularly nurse, you know, with the big jawdrop motion that gets the milk out. YOU don't have to do anything different, baby will take care of that for you. Watch baby's ears, at least that was always the telling sign with my girls. If the ears aren't moving, baby probably isn't nutritively nursing. If baby isn't swallowing is another sign, but harder for me to tell.
 

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There isn't really a different way to nurse. I also vote for ditching the pacifier. We never used one and I never missed it. When babe needs to suck, offer the breast, she'll figure out the rest <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
good luck!<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
oh ok, that's a bit more helpful. Thanks! I've felt that fluttery motion.<br><br>
Sometimes she just seems frustrated with the milk. I guess we just have to figure that part out on our own...Now to convince my dh to ditch the paci...sigh...<br><br>
(Hi Angela!)
 

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What I've heard is to stick to one side per feeding and offer the less full side for comfort nursing. I asked about this at a LLL meeting and this was the advice. It won't help if you have an overactive letdown, though.<br><br>
The above didn't work for me and my DD was like yours so what I did was offer to nurse first. If she got mad, I'd give her a pacifier. She used it in moderation and ditched herself at 6 months. It was never a problem. I don't think pacifiers are evil though-- it was better than frustrating my DD. We tried going for several days without the paci and it never got better. Maybe your experience will be different!
 

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I would ditch the pacifier, and nurse every time the baby wants to. Even if sometimes it is every 10 minutes. Other times it might be every hour, or two hours. It depends on the baby's need at the moment. Babies tend to be great at self-regulating how much they need to nurse; you can't over-nurse. But it's very easy to under-nurse by offering alternatives like pacifiers or finger sucking or rocking or strolling or whatever you can do to distract the baby from the boob.<br><br>
Nursing often will help regulate your supply and balance it with the baby's needs.<br>
Nursing at night is essential, too, for fatty milk for brain development.<br><br>
I remember spending many hours in a rocking chair or on the couch or in bed nursing and reading or sleeping. It was so cozy! Those were the days <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks Elena, it sounds like you found a happy medium. I don't like the idea of a pacifier but I don't think it's evil either. But I've been feeling so guilty, giving it to her, and then making her go without it all day yesterday and today.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>UrbanPlanter</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would ditch the pacifier, and nurse every time the baby wants to. Even if sometimes it is every 10 minutes. Other times it might be every hour, or two hours. It depends on the baby's need at the moment. Babies tend to be great at self-regulating how much they need to nurse; you can't over-nurse.</div>
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These were some of the things I wondered about. I didn't want to "stuff" her and her think I was trying to force her to eat when she didn't want to. So, it's good to know you can't over-nurse<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>UrbanPlanter</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But it's very easy to under-nurse by offering alternatives like pacifiers or finger sucking or rocking or strolling or whatever you can do to distract the baby from the boob.</div>
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I know you're not saying that doing these things is always bad...So, would you recommend that when she fusses offer the breast first and then try the rest if she refuses?<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>UrbanPlanter</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Nursing often will help regulate your supply and balance it with the baby's needs.<br>
Nursing at night is essential, too, for fatty milk for brain development.<br><br>
I remember spending many hours in a rocking chair or on the couch or in bed nursing and reading or sleeping. It was so cozy! Those were the days <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I worry about when I can't be with her. What should be done then if she wants comfort?<br><br><br>
Sorry for all the questions guys!! But thanks for the responses! I feel like the rest of our lives together depends on getting this right! I just don't want to do the wrong thing...
 

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My daughter hasn't yet figured out how to "comfort nurse" except at the end of a nursing session when she's half asleep. She always got really frustrated with getting milk when all she really wanted was to suck (hard!). We mostly gave her our pinkies in the early weeks, then sometimes used a pacifier, but she really doesn't much care for the pacifier.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>prophetmother</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know you're not saying that doing these things is always bad...So, would you recommend that when she fusses offer the breast first and then try the rest if she refuses?</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> exactly <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I worry about when I can't be with her. What should be done then if she wants comfort?</td>
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how long & how often will you be away? This is a totally new topic. If you go out for brief periods, like on an errand or something, your partner should be able to help, or a caregiver who your dc knows. Or, you could sling dc and bring with; I don't remember much separation for us in the first year (or two!) but I didn't go back to work...<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Sorry for all the questions guys!! But thanks for the responses! I feel like the rest of our lives together depends on getting this right! I just don't want to do the wrong thing...</td>
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you're doing a great job! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> keep asking questions as long as you have them, and then you can share info with other new moms who follow you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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btw your baby is beautiful <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I second what UrbanPlanter said... offer the breast first but don't worry about using paci, finger sucking, etc. if the breast doesn't work.<br><br>
My ds (3 mos.) gets downright pissed if I offer a breast with ANY milk in it if he just wants to comfort nurse. I don't get why he hasn't "learned" to comfort nurse at the breast but he just hates it. After several weeks of wondering why he was fussing post-feedings, I let him suck on my pinky and it was like he fell in love. :LOL<br><br>
I think it is critical to watch your supply, baby's suck, and baby's weight gain/diaper counts like a hawk. At the first sign of a problem in either of these, cut back on the paci (or other method) use.
 

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I agree what all the PP said. You might also want to to try a wrap/sling. You can not only keep her close and comforted but you can nurse in them as well. Enjoy your baby!
 

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Remember, too, that babe is doing lots and lots of growing at this young age. Especially at around 6 wks you will probably notice that her growth increases and her nursing will too for a while. Then there's teething... My babies were both quite uncomfortable at these stages and nursed ALOT. What they couldn't use, they spat up. It was a very messy time if I remember correctly!! I didn't use a pacifier mostly because I am simply not organized enough to keep track of yet another baby item. The milk is soooo good for them that I would fear to deprive a single drop at such a young age. Your breasts will soon learn how much milk to make at different times of day and night and will match beautifully with baby's rythm. You will also become comfortable with nursing lying down. Just keep it up!!<br>
When baby fusses, I suggest offering the breast first and checking the diaper at the same time (because we moms are master-multitaskers)--ever nursed and changed a diaper at the same time??!. Then move on down the list. Try burping her, bouncing her, walking her etc. I even made a checklist with my first so that I wouldn't miss anything. Sometimes it's so hard to figure out just what the heck is bugging them. That list ended up being more useful for his dad as I found I insinctively new quite quickly what the baby needed. Usually it was a good nursing!!
 

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listen, The pacifier could become evil to you and your baby. I gave mine one when she was a week or two old because family members were telling me to. she eventually stopped gaining weight and had major nipple confusion due to the pacifier and bottles we were giving her. So at 4.5 months she had to stop the pacifier cold turkey. That was hard. Just don't give it to the babe until nursing is well established (not before 3 months) and let her nurse all she wants, whenever she seems fussy, offer the breast and see if she wants it. It certainly won't hurt her.
 

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I was a definte no-binky advocate for a long time. That was, until my second dd came along. We could not survive a car ride without that binky! She didn't take the binky until 3 months and we are 6weeks into binky heaven. Those first 3 months were sheer hell. I wanted so badly to never use the binky and just comfort nurse her all the time. But my dd let me know FAST that she would have none of that. I could try to put her to breast all day long and she would just suck a few times and then scream. She wanted boobs only for milk and snuggling against to go to sleep. When she wanted to comfort suck, she wanted something unrelated to milk. We did the pinky for a while but she's got a strong suck drive and I needed at least one hand every now and then so that wasn't a good option. She started fist-sucking in desperation and got mad because she couldnt' control her fists and they would leave when she got into a rhythm. :LOL so we just gave up and gave her a binky and she's a happy camper. She uses one in the car if she starts screaming(which she usually does) but we do try to reduce our car trips to stay away from it. Also, sometimes she needs it to go to sleep. But the way I figure it, we've gone through so much in her short 4 months of life with health issues and bf'ing troubles and such that if she wants a binky for a couple of months to soothe herself, well then that's cool by me. I know my supply is established and my daughter LOVES the boobs and we are securely attached with co-sleeping and nursing and slinging. A binky won't hurt that.<br><br>
Meg <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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