[Lil'Momma]

I wasn't really sure where to post this, so forgive me if this isn't the right place, but I have a question...

My second son was born at 33 weeks and we never got the hang of latching on. There were so many obstacles, and no support and a hundred other things (thrush, terrible desating when feeding). I did EP for close to a year, so I know he got what he needed, but I eventually just dried up. He is now 17 months old and I have been plagued with regret the last few weeks. Everyone I know is having babies, and talking about nursing, and for some reason, I desperately crave to nurse DS!! (I nursed DS#1 perfectly, no problems and loved every minute of it) I feel like I was jipped with DS2. Is that normal? Is there anything that I can do? Any suggestions for what to do? Will I always feel like I didn't bond as well with him? I didn't feel that way at the time. I was proud of myself for being able to pump all he needed for the first 10 months and I felt just as close to him as with DS1, but now I feel like I really missed out on something special.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[KnittingTigers]

Mama. I don't have much advice, just wanted to say that I understand some of your pain. I EP for my 4 month old, and though I'm grateful that I'm able to get her some breastmilk (I still have to supplement with formula, unfortunately), I still feel so sad sometimes when I think about the nursing relationship that she and I don't have. Going to playgroup and watching my friends whip out their boobs to feed their kids triggers this sadness and envy that I don't want to be feeling. I plan to have another child, and hope that s/he and I will have a different, better nursing experience. But, I know what you mean about fearing that I've missed something irreplaceable with this child.

One thing that helped was talking to a friend who is super pro-breastfeeding, but also has older kids. She pointed out that while right now this seems so huge and important, it's only one small step in my kid's life, and in our relationship. Or, to quote her, "This is all going to seem like small potatoes once you hit junior high..."

So, that's the perspective I try to keep. Not sure if that's at all helpful, but in any case, I'm thinking of you, and sending

. You're doing a great job as a mama.

 

[Alice27]

Motherhood is full of regrets. I try not to dwell on them too much. My daughters were both born with medical problems so their early years were less than rosy. My second daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate so our nursing relationship was far from ideal. She is nursing now, but that will never bring back those warm and cosy moments that I missed in her first seven months.

I know that there is very little anyone can say when you are living the painful moments, but having been there I hope that it is some comfort to hear that others have been there/are living through it too.

Sometimes I like to just lie beside my sleeping girls, drink in their sleeping breath and keep them company in their sleep. Motherhood is far from perfect, and we can't give our children everthing we would like but we can still reassure them with our presence. Once they stop nursing (if they ever nurse), we still have our bodies and our warmth - oneday they will leave home and we'll be e-mailing our love to them (I liked that comment about junior high and small potatoes

)

Keep writing....it is the best therapy I know of,

Alice

 

[PatioGardener]

You EPed for a whole year? Wow!

(Sorry - off topic but I just had to say that you are amazing!)